Little Red
by saquesha13
Summary: Raph gets injected with a serum on a mission. Will they be able to change him back? Or will he be stuck like this forever? TCEST [ Leo/Raph ]
1. Chapter 1 The incident

It was just another dark starry night in New York City. The people on the sidewalks silently walking to their own destinations to turn in for the night. Few cars out on the streets. Alleyways full of homeless people, stray cats and garbage. At this time of night nobody is ever out unless you work the late night shift at work, or unless you a mutant ninja turtle battling the Foot Clan on a nearby roof top.

The sound of metal hitting metal rings in leaf green ears. Welding the twin katana's, the turtle in the blue mask barley misses a slice in the leg dodging it with a swift leap and bringing his left sword down blocking the hit. His appoint, a Japanese Kunoichi, the Foot clan's ruler's daughter herself. Karai smirks bringing her tanto sword up and sliding it back in its holder. "Enough with the weapons, lets see what you really got, Leonardo."

Always up for a challenge, Leo slides his twin swords in their own holders behind his shell as they start circling each other as if they were in a spar match, neither wanting to make the first move. Eyes narrowing Karai leaps first sweeping her leg down to trip the terrapin, but he easily dodges it.

Right behind Leo's shell his third younger brother Donatello is in the middle of fighting Tigerclaw. Bo Staff in his hands he twirls it around flawlessly, and snatches the tiger's freeze gun right out of his claws before he blasts it. The turtle in purple sprints towards the mutant and plants his staff right in front of the assassin before they collided, sending him front flipping in the air directly above his head and lands sharply on the felines tail with his heel. Tigerclaw screeches in pain dropping his knife to the floor as he grabs his injured tail, right before Donnie instep kicks him right in the jaw sending him towards the turtle in orange who is fighting Razar.

The youngest turtle is having the most trouble. Razar has him under his claws, neck pinned up in a choke hold against a billboard wall. With Tigerclaw down Donnie rushes over to help sending three throwing stars right at the dogs face making him release Michelangelo as he winces in pain. Gasping for air Mikey finds the energy and uppercuts Bradford right in the jaw sending him flat on his boney tail.

On the right of them is the last turtle of the bunch. In the middle of fighting a mutant fish with his sais in hand, he almost stops to check on his little brother when he see's Don has beat him to it. But that slight second of being distracted Fishface was on his left when he turned around and before he could react he felt a needle go in his neck and release its liquid into his body. "Shit! What the fuck was that?!" The turtle in red swears, sais up and ready for swingin', but swings into air. He quickly turns around to see the fish sprinting to the other building.

"That was meant to be tested on the girl, but we'll see if it works. That's from Baxtar Stockmem, he gave me the honor to give it to you personally." His strong Brazilian accent echoes as he laughs jumping to the next building, with all the other Foot following behind.

Growling Raph turns to Mikey who is now standing up with the help of Donnie as his arms are around his shoulders keeping him upright. "You good little bro?"

Mikey was about to answer but gets interrupted by Leo who is glaring daggers into the red masked turtle. "What the shell were you thinking?!"

Oh here it comes. Sighing Raph turns around to face his angry mate. "I told you to wait Raphael but you stormed right into their trap! They almost choked Mikey to death if it weren't for Donnie! But do you listen to me? Have you ever waited to hear my plans before you bust in there with your damn sais?" Leo grips the bridge of his nose frustrated, shaking his head.

"I had to! They had that girl held captive and who knows what they would have done to her if I didn't stop them?!" Raph shoots back turning around frustrated.

This always happens. Ever since they became more than just brothers it has made arguing ten times worse when they are out on missions. Raph screws up, Leo gets mad and lectures him, then Raph can't hold his tongue and ends up regretting some of the stuff he says.

"I can't do this anymore." Leo sighs and swallows what feels like nails down his dry throat. "I need a break Raph."

Raphael felt his heart drop. He'd finally done it, pushed Leo to far and now he finally realized he deserves someone better than his hot tempered brother.

"Umm.. We will be ugh at the lair..." Mikey's scratchy voice spits out awkwardly as him and Donnie head down the fire escape to the manhole cover.

Tears prick the edges of Raph's golden eyes. No. Not going to cry. He suddenly feels angry. Rage filling through his veins as his fists clench, storming to the side of he roof he punches the ledge. "Fuck you Leo. If you wanna break why don't ya just call it off then?!" His fist covered in blood but is numb from the adrenalin. He doesn't mean what he is saying, but he cant stop himself from saying it.

He loves Leo, and Leo is the best thing that's ever happened to him. He'd give anything for his mate, but when he feels angry stuff comes out the wrong way.

"Raph, I can't do that." Leo spits out clenching his fists as well. "But I can't keep doing this. I need time to breathe and clear my head."

"Whatever. I don't care what ya do. Just leave me the fuck alone." Raph growls and jumps down the fire escape to the manhole cover. He knew Leo wouldn't follow him. Once he makes it back home he was going to go straight to his punching bag, but he feels to drained. Not even bothering to see if Mikey and Donnie are still up he goes up to his room to tired to even slam the door.

'I need a break.' Leo's words echo through his head.

There is no fucking way he's going to come back to me. Who would want to be with me anyway? He deserves so much better. But what made him think he could say something like that right in front of Mikey and Donnie?! Does he really hate me that much that he can't wait to tell me when we are alone? He has to go humiliate me in front of our brothers. Maybe this break is a good idea after all... What the fuck am I thinking I don't want a break from Leo. I cant get enough of the guy. I just gotta give him some space I guess. Raph thinks to himself as he makes his way across his room.

He probably should ask Donnie about what they injected him with, and should go apologize to Mike. But he is way to fuckin' tired to even take off his gear. Plopping into his hammock rubbing his neck where the needle poked him his eyes droop shut. Damn what did he do that made him so drained? Was it because he is in a bad fight with Leo? Or did he get to drunk with Casey last night and not remember? He didn't have long to think about it as sleep soon took him and he was snoring away.

Leo came home an hour later. He decided to go on a quick run but he stayed in the sewers to be safe. You never know if the Foot is still running around. He made his way to his bedroom but stops right in front of Mikey's door and Donnie's door, glad to hear them both asleep and safe. Once he got to Raph's door he sighs. He really didn't want to do that. He's been trying not to think about it. About how upset Raph was, how he wouldn't even look at him because he was about to lose it.

At least he took his frustration out on the wall instead of my face. But I deserved it in my face. I should have waited till we were alone to tell him. Hopefully this doesn't make things worse between us.

There has been so much going on with the Foot Clan lately, they have been busting up pharmacy's and stealing lots of medicine and drugs. And almost every time Raph doesn't listen on these missions. There has been way to much stress on the Leader's shoulders. They could have lost Mikey today. He doesn't want to end things with his mate, but this just seems like the best idea till he can think more clear.

Leo was about to head to his own room but a small noise stopped him. What the shell? Being very still he waits and concentrates on the sounds around him. Sewer waters running, Mikey snoring, heater running, Donnie shifting in bed, baby whimpering, water dropping from that one pipe in the - wait a damn second, baby whimpering?! Last time Leo checked there wasn't any babies in the sewers.

Leaning his head on Raph's door he hears it more clearly. Did Raph seriously take a baby home? Not even bothering to knock Leo opens the door. "Raph?" The light from the hallway peeks in, surprised when he doesn't see the emerald turtle anywhere in the room he turns on the light. Nothing but dumbbells on the floor, a punching bag in the corner, playboys on the floor which I thought he got rid of ugh, and a picture on the box he uses as a nightstand of us on Christmas last year under the mistletoe. Mikey secretly took that picture, Raph tried to make him delete it but once he saw it he ended up liking it and decided to frame it.

I must be hearing stuff. Its been a long day.

Heading to leave the room and hopefully find Raph in his bed he stops in his tracks when he hears soft crying coming from the hammock. He turns around and opens up the swinging bed to find a small emerald child with big green eyes, a red mask hanging loose from his neck being to big, fidgeting with heavy sais on top of its little plastron. He wouldn't have even bothered to check the hammock this baby is so light it doesn't even look like anything was inside it. The baby turtle blinks looking up at Leo, a big smile on his face showing one bottom tooth as his arms go up, squeaking in excitement to see Leo.

Leo feels like the room is spinning. There is no way... This can't be...

Gulping, he picks up the turtle and brings him to his plastron making the child giggle and grab Leo's mask tugging at it.

"R-Raph?"

* * *

 **A/N: I was going to start this story up in a few weeks but I couldn't help myself. I had to stay up till one in the morning to write it! I'll try to update it frequently and keep up with it. Let me know what you think of it so far!**


	2. Chapter 2 Turtle luck

"Leonardo, explain now!" Master Splinter's stern voice demands as he stands up from his meditation mat and walks across his bedroom taking the small turtle from his eldest sons hands, staring at him with a shocked expression on his face. How is this even possible?

He didn't get any weird spiritual vibes when he heard his sons return from their mission, he could sense all of his sons present and well. The only off feeling he sensed was tension between the two eldest but that has been common lately, and the rat assumed that if it was a big issue his sons would come to him themselves about the problem. He hasn't seen a baby in a long time let alone his own child.

The small turtle looks up at Splinter with his big green eyes and starts tugging on his long beard giggling. Splinter doesn't seem to mind as he listens to the turtle in blue try to explain why his son is now a child.

"-and when Raph jumped into the trap after Fishface that's when Karai came after me. Raph got the girl and untied the knots so she is fine but I don't understand how this is even possible." Leo gestures to little Raphael in Splinter's lap.

Donnie walks into the room with Mikey trailing behind him with an ice pack on his throat. Leo woke them up after he found Raph in his hammock earlier, and neither of them had any idea how this happened either. "So did any of you guys wonder why the Foot retreated? Or was it just me?" Don questions his brothers holding a pencil to his lip.

"Well after you kicked Tigerclaw's ass-" Mikey's scratchy voice starts but Donnie holds a hand up stopping him from continuing.

"I told you to stop talking! If you keep using your voice it could permanently damage your vocal chords! So shut it before I stick duck tape on your lips." Donnie's brown eyes narrow dangerously at his brother, showing that he will use duck tape if he has to.

Mikey's eyes widen at the threat, holding his hands up in surrender he pinches his fingers together bringing them up to his lips as if he is sealing them together and locking it up, throwing away the key. These next few days are going to be a living hell for the youngest turtle. Not being able to talk is like not being able to mediate for Leo or not being able to do experiments for Donnie. But when his voice does come back he plans on using it to its full ability.

"Good now if you want to speak type in your TPhone, but until your voice is better keep your trap shut." The genius pulls Mikey's phone out of his belt and hands it to him.

Leo can't keep his eyes off of his mate. This has never happened before to any of them. How long will this last? How the fuck are they going to change him back? What even caused this? Sighing he thinks back to what Mikey said. "You guys both took two of their strongest down. So it makes since for them to retreat when they did."

Tapping the pencil eraser on his bottom lip, contemplating this hard Donnie walks over to his older well, now younger brother. "Did anybody else notice Fishface leave first?" Mikey types in his TPhone app, and an Australian woman's voice comes through the speaker.

"But he wasn't down like Bradford and Tigerclaw..." Leo shakes his head. This makes no sense. Why would Fishface leave the fight when he had an advantage? Ugh this couldn't be more frustrating. The only person who knows what's wrong with Raph is Raph and right now he is in Donnie's arms sucking his thumb unable to understand what the fuck is going on.

Donatello's eyes scan all over the small turtles body, looking for any odd sign. The child's knuckles are covered in dried up blood. Looking up to Leo to see any cuts and bruises his eyebrows go up when he doesn't see a scratch on his older brother. With how they left their brothers up on the roof to discuss their relationship he thought for sure Raphael would throw some punches.

Noticing Donnie's stare Leo's eyebrows raise, he sighs when the purple banded brother lifts up Raph's little emerald green hand showing his bloody knuckle. "He punched the wall before he went in the sewers. That's the last I saw of him."

Master Splinter's gaze is on the oldest turtle now. He'll have to talk to his older son later about their fight but when they are alone.

Donnie slides Raph's red bandana off the child's neck and notices a small hole with a dot of dried blood on it. "Shit." He whispers to himself getting everybody's eyes on him.

"What did you find my son?"

Shaking his head and staring up to the celling Donnie starts _laughing_. Putting the emerald child on the floor he walks out the door and kicks the shoji door frustrated swearing under his breath. How the fuck am I supposed to fix this?!

Surprised by the sudden outburst Mikey takes a step away from Donnie and grabs a tired Raphael off the floor cradling him in his arms. You really don't want to be around Donatello when he is this mad.

Breathing hard Donnie runs his hands over his bald head. "They injected him with some type of serum! They could have given him anything! And until I get the exact fucking formula down with no mistakes then I have to find a new solution to fix this!" He yells with tears filling his brown eyes.

Glancing at Raph's neck, Mikey's sea green fingers brush over where they injected him making the dried blood crumble off landing on the floor. Startled but Donnie's outburst the little turtle jumps and tears start to fill his eyes making Mikey gasp. He doesn't know how to handle a baby! How can he if he isn't allowed to talk?! The orange clad turtle quickly lifts up the child and hands him over to Leo who looks almost as scared as he does. But Leo takes the crying turtle anyway and lays his little head on his shoulder, grabbing the red mask from his hand.

Splinter walks over to his son and puts his small hand on his shoulder. "We'll figure this out, Donatello. We are going to get Raphael back to normal together, you are not alone in this my son." Shaking, Donnie nods his head trying to remain calm.

Mikey's thumbs type lightning fast on his phone and seconds later the Australian woman's voice appears again. "So Fishface injected him and that's what made him into a baby?"

"Yes." Donnie's now horse voice spits out, clearly already stressed from the situation at hand.

"Actually from the looks of it Raphael is a tot." Splinter adds stroking his long beard eyeing his second son sleeping peacefully on Leo.

"He is awfully small Sensei, are you sure?" Leo asks quietly not wanting to wake his mate, well much younger mate.

"Are you questioning my ability to know the age of my own son?" Yoshi asks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Raphael should be around two years of age from the looks of it. Growing up he was the smallest of you four and always hit growth spurts late." He adds.

"Then why doesn't he talk?" The Australian voice from Mikey's phone questions.

"Raphael was also the shyest out of you four as well, until he reached a certain age that is. Now I'm going to have him sleep in here with me, practice tomorrow is canceled. Leonardo please give April a call informing her of our situation and ask her to bring over baby supplies when she can." He carefully takes the child from Leo's arms as Leo nods and exits the room glancing back before he left, wondering how long this is going to last before they can get him back to his normal age.

"Michelangelo, try and baby proof the lair as much as you can. The last thing we need is anything worse to happen." Splinter instructs, and Mikey gives him a thumbs up leaving the room.

Splinter saves his tallest son for last. "We will get blood samples from Raphael tomorrow, but right now we all need rest. Go back to bed Donatello."

"Hai Sensei." Bowing respectfully the Genius leaves his fathers room and heads down the hall to his own bedroom, shutting the door behind him with a sigh.

"We got a big problem on our hands now don't we?" He looks up at the celling talking to himself and climbs in bed, pulling his purple covers up and untying his mask, neatly folding it and sticking it in his drawer next to his bed with the rest of his gear before sliding the door shut. Before Raph jumped in and saved that girl they were going to do something to her. Stockmen must have been wanting to test it out before they used it on one of us, they were going to use it on a random innocent human.

But out of all of us why chose Raph?

Groaning Donnie puts his pillow in his face trying to shut his thoughts out so he can get sleep. But something tells him its going to be a restless night.

* * *

"Don says Fishface injected him with some type of serum, April." Leo sighs, sliding off his mask rubbing his eyes with his free hand holding his Tphone in the other.

"Oh god that's horrible!" April gasps through the phone. "Is he cute? I've never seen a baby mutant turtle before."

The leaf green turtle rolls his eyes at his red headed friend, even though she cannot see him through his Tphone. "This is serious April, we might not be able to fix this one." Leo quietly adds the last part. "But this is Raph we are talking about, of course he is cute."

A small laugh comes from the speaker. "Don't stress out to much down there. We will figure this out like we always do. Casey and me will bring some supplies over tomorrow around noon okay?"

"Thanks April. Goodnight."

"We will get him back to normal Leo. Get some sleep, goodnight." And with that she hangs up.

Leo sticks his phone on his nightstand and removes all of his gear. Groaning he climbs in his bed that has Raphael's scent _all_ over it. Sticking his blanket up to his nose he can't help but breathe it all in. Sweat, beer, a little bit of a blood tint to it, but its all him. All his mate. And god he smells good.

Leo brings Raph's red bandana up to his lips, giving it a kiss as if it were Raphael himself. "I'm so sorry." He whispers, tears pricking his eyes.

This is all my fault. I shouldn't have been messing around with Karai during a fight I'm such an idiot! She did that on purpose to distract me! And I called a break from our relationship?! Ugh what is wrong with me? I don't want a break from Raph. I need him. And now that he is gone and I can't have him, all I can think about is him. Raph may not be 'gone' but he still isn't here. That thing out there _isn't_ my mate.

Will Don be able to figure out the antidote? Will I ever get him back at least long enough to apologize? _Oh god_. Is his last memory of me breaking things off with him?

Leo holds the torn up red fabric up to his nose as tears roll down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Raphael."


	3. Chapter 3 Owning up to it

**_WARNING: SMUT & FLUFF_**

 _"I'm going to control you tonight." Leo growls, flipping them over so he is on top, lust filling his blue eyes as he runs his hand down Raph's plastron making both_ _turtles churr._

 _The Leader leans down pressing their mouths together gathering every taste of his brother as he can and pins Raph's hands above his head near the headboard, tying his blue bandana around them tight. Their lower plastrons scrape together making it harder for Raph to not use his hands and touch his mate._

 _They do kinky stuff like this every once in a while and honestly, Leo prefers sex to be rough. But anything when it comes to the hothead is always going to be rough, although when it comes to Leo, and only Leo, he shows his soft side. Leo likes seeing his favorite turtle sprawled beneath him squirming to get free. The look on his face is to irresistible. He wants to claim Raphael, mark him. But he also likes the innocent side of his brother as well, the side nobody else gets to see. He can be such a caring big soft teddy bear at times. But right now all Leo wants is Raph's big hard dick in his mouth._

 _"Drop down."_

 _The katana welder leans down and clamps his teeth on Raph's emerald neck biting down hard making blood run in his mouth as he softly licks it off. "A-ahh... Is that an order oh Fearless Leader?" Raph moans, with a smirk on his lips._

 _Leo slides down Raph's plastron, licking his way as he goes leading to the bulge on his mate and slides his tongue in the slit. Raph gasps at the warm appendage penetrating his protective pouch, his toes curl in the blue sheets of Leo's bed and his back arches up. He cant take it any longer so he does what his leader wants and lets his cock be free right into Leo's warm wet mouth._

 _Twirling his tongue around the tip, Leo gives it a small quick kiss before taking the thick dick in all the way in making Raph churr and throw his head back. "Oh Fuck!"_

 _Leo's wraps his hand around Raph's strong thigh, and his other hand is around his own hard cock, pumping at the same speed he bobs his head up and down mouth fucking Raph. "I w-wan wanna touch ya s-so damn bad F-Fearless." He can barley manage to spit out as he lifts his hips up making his dick go all the way down Leo's throat._

 _Precum dripping all down his hard member, Leo can just finish off from watching his mates face as he gives him a blowjob. His green eyes are wide open not wanting to miss any detail, the way he throws his head back in pleasure moaning so loud it echoes on the walls. Its a good thing Don soundproofed the room. But he can't finish yet, not like this._

 _Leo slides out with a wet pop and smirks when Raph's head flies up narrowing his eyes. But then those eyes shut and another churr escapes his throat when he feels fingers playing with his tail. Leo runs his fingers all over the soft small appendage and a churr of his own comes out. Pulling a fresh bottle of lube out of his nightstand drawer he flips the cap open and squirts some of the clear liquid on his finger before brushing it over Raph's puckered hole._

 _To his surprise the sai welder scooted down making Leo's finger slide all the way in to the third knuckle. Leo chuckles at his impatient mate. "Are you in a hurry, Raphie?" He asks while he adds his second prepped finger in, scissoring him and twirling the fingers around._

 _"Shit!" Raph's hips buck, wanting to feel Leo thrusting inside him like many times before. "Stop teasin' and fuck me already." He says growling through his teeth. Leo slides his fingers out but shoves them back in hard almost hitting Raph's prostate, by the look on his face. "P-please fuck me already!"_

 _Sliding his fingers out and smirking, Leo sits up on his knees pulling Raph's hips up on his leaf green thighs. He lines the tip of his cock up with his brothers hole and smirks. "Well, since you said please." And with that he slides in all the way, stopping for a brief second for Raph to absorb the stretch, then pulls out sliding in again harder and faster. "Oh Jeezus Raph!"_

Leo flies up in his bed sitting straight up, covered in sweat and rock hard, again. "Dammit!" He curses and grabs himself pumping to finish what his body started. This is becoming an every night problem. Leo grabs Raph's red bandana and brings it up to his nose, inhaling the scent. He pictures its Raph's emerald hand pumping him. Throwing his head back Leo groans as his white seed splatters the bed sheets.

Its been a week since Raph got turned into a child. And all they have found out so far is he is perfectly healthy through Donnie's blood samples. Nobody can get Raph to talk and so far all he has really done is cry, screaming his head off. Leo is about to lose his mind if he hears anymore crying. Splinter and Mikey have been the ones mostly taking care of him while Donnie has been trying to figure out how to change him back to a 19 year old. Now that Mikey's voice is back he is able to keep Raph entertained.

The stubborn child doesn't like the wodden blocks April brought over. The mutants are sure lucky they have April O'neil. Her and Casey keep on coming down with more and more baby supplies like dippers, sippy cups, binkies, toys and they even brought a play pen. Every time the humans come over the red head can't keep her hands off of the small emerald turtle. Leo doesn't understand it. That may be Raph, but to him it isn't. His Raphael is 19, almost 8 feet tall and his biceps are bigger than the size of Casey's fat head. Not a small helpless child who still wears dippers and sucks his thumb.

Swinging one foot off the bed Leo rubs his face with his hands before getting up and heading to the bathroom to shower off his mess. Splinter has finally started training back up again now that they have the situation controlled better.

After his cold shower he towels off, puts his belt on then elbow pads and knee pads and ties his blue bandana around his eyes in a perfect knot. He can't help but picture this bandana holding down Raph's hands. Groaning he shoves the door open and heads to the kitchen where Mikey is making breakfast. He puts warm water in the kettle and sits it on the stove to heat it up but a sea green hand stops him.

"No need brah, made you a fresh warm cup already. Mint flavored your favorite." Mikey smiles and gestures to the table where the mug sits next to the high chair with the one turtle he has been trying to avoid. Speak of the devil. Raph has a red binky in his mouth that says 'pull to sound alarm' on it and fresh tears in his green eyes.

Leo pulls out his chair and sits next to the child ignoring his cute smile when he notices Leo. Raph's binky falls out of his mouth and lands on the table making Mikey turn around. Leo got a good look at his little brother and damn he looks tired. Bags under his eye lids, his color looks a little off. But he has a shocked look on his face.

"How'd you do that? I've been trying to get him to smile for days!"

Leo shrugs sipping his tea and gives Mikey a small smile when he brings a plate full of pancakes and eggs over to him. "Thanks Mike." With Raph unable to really do anything but throw fits, it makes everybody else have to step up around the lair. There is no way Leo was going to be allowed to cook, not after what he did to the toaster last time. And Don has been plastered in trying to find a cure to this whole incident, Mikey has been cooking most meals and been on baby duty while Splinter has been Meditating, trying to find spiritual guidance.

Mikey puts Raph's small plate and spoon down on the table in front of him and starts feeding the small turtle. "Open wide cuz here comes the Shell Cycle! Vroom vroom!" A small giggle comes from Raph as he accepts the food Mikey is spoon feeding him. He can eat cheerio's on his own, and hold his bottle by himself but that's about it. Master Splinter says he should be around two years old but Leo thinks he is at least only a one year old, from the looks of it that is.

"Really Leo, what did you do to him? I haven't been able to get him to eat or stop crying since yeaterday."

"I didn't do anything Mikey. All I did was come sit down that's all." Leo sighs and shoves a fork full of eggs in his mouth.

"I think you being close to Lil' Raphie makes him happy." The orange clad turtle grabs the napkin and wipes off the food on Raph's chin. "I mean after all you are his mate."

Leo growls not wanting to talk about this. He slides his chair out and gets up, suddenly not in the mood for food. "I don't want to talk about this Michelangelo." Before he can turn out of the kitchen a hand stops him and turns him around.

"Look." Mikey says in a serious tone he doesn't use unless he is mad. "I have been watching Raphael and looking after him ever since this happened. I only get an hour break when Master Splinter is done meditating before bed and I am sick of it. Raph is YOUR mate Leo! Yours! And all you have done so far is ignore him! What the shell is wrong with you?! This isn't some random baby Leo. Its Raphael! He isn't missing! So stop acting like it and own up to it! If the situation was switched and you were in that high chair, Raph would be the one taking care of you. Not me."

Mikey picks up Raph out of the high chair, sticking the binky in his mouth before he starts to fuss and grabs the cup of coffee on the table and the plate of food and starts heading for the lab. "Oh and by the way, me and Don are going to the junkyard to scavenge for baby supplies after practice so you gotta watch Raph for us while sensei meditates." And with that the lab door shuts leaving Leo alone in the kitchen before he could say a word.

Scowling he heads into the dojo going straight for Raph's beaten up punching bag in the corner and starts punching. They don't get it. They never will. Don't they realize why I am acting like this? I can't be around Raphael because this is all my fault.

Why Raph likes me more than Mikey? Hell if I knew. All I've managed to do is break his heart and then ignore him while he needs me. Mikey on the other hand has been there with him, fed him, played with him.

God. I'm a horrible mate.

Mikey is right. If Raph were in my place he'd be there for me. He would be ignoring me and hating me. All I can think about is Raph. All I can dream about is Raph. But he is right here, he has been here this whole damn time.

 _Stupid. Stupid! Stupid!_

Leo's punches become harder as sweat begins to drip down his forehead and his knuckles crack open making a little bit of blood drip down. Tears prick the corners of his blue eyes as he sighs looking up at the celling frustrated.

From now on, no matter how hard it is going to be I'm gonna be there for Raphael. I owe him that much.

Normally practice helps Leo keep his mind on track, but today it was totally opposite. His form was sloppy, Donnie beat him in a spar, and he couldn't get his katas right no matter how many times he tried. He just couldn't get his mind off of Raph.

The three turtles are kneeling on practice mats before their Master, while Raphael is in the playpen in the corner of the dojo underneath the tree playing with toy cars. "Excellent work today Donatello. Michelangelo, after your scavenge to the junkyard please get some rest my son." Both turtles nod. "And Leonardo, you seem very distracted today. If you would like I can watch Raphael this evening."

"Thanks sensei, but its alright. I got this." Leo sighs.

"Very well. You are all dismissed. Please be careful on your trip, the foot is still out there my sons." The mutant rat says stroking his long beard.

The three turtles bow with a 'hai Sensei' and with that the two youngest brothers exit the lair. Splinter turns with a whip of his tail and heads inside his room closing his shoji door behind him, leaving Leo completely alone with Raph. He awkwardly walks over to the pink colored playpen, Casey borrowed it from his cousin Lilly who outgrew it.

Once Raph notices Leo his face lights up, using the sides of the pen for balance he pulls himself up on his feet and holds out his arms wanting Leo to pick him up. Not wanting to upset the child Leo puts his hands on the sides of Raph's plastron and picks him up with ease, and brings the emerald turtle in his room. Leo sits him down on the far side of his twin sized bed and he sits down with a sigh on the opposite side rubbing his face with his hand.

It didn't take long for Raph to crawl his way over to Leo making bubbles with his spit, and happily climbed ontop of the Leaders plastron. Acknowledging the child's presence Leo moves his hand from his face with another sigh. "I'm sorry Raphael. This is all my fault that this happened to you. I should have considered your opinion that night and we all could have walked out normal, including that girl." Raph sticks his thumb in his mouth and blinks at Leo not moving from his lap.

"I was wrong to call a break in our relationship. I think about that every night. I told you I needed to breathe and I needed to clear my head but honestly Raph, I can't breathe without you. My head is all fucked up with out you. I need you Raphael!" Tears form back up in his eyes making his vision blurry.

Raph just stares at Leo with a confused expression on his face. "God dammit yell at me already! Tell me I was an idiot and that I screwed up! If you weren't a child you'd punch me right in the face!" Tears start rolling down the blue masked turtles cheeks. He can't keep them in anymore. He just wants his mate back. Wants to hold him and kiss him and never let him go.

Leo almost jumps when he feels small lips press against his cheek. He wipes his tears from his eyes and finds Raph starring at him with a sad look on his face. The little turtle snuggles up to Leo's plastron and nuzzles him with a yawn. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. We will get you back to normal." Leo whispers kissing his temple and lays down on his bed with Raph on top of him and lets out a breath.

"I love you, Raphael. I just wish I would have told you that sooner."

* * *

A/N: Hello fellow readers! Leo had a little break down at the end there but its okay, he should be fine now...

I have a few ideas to where I want to take this story so we will see how it goes I guess. Don't be shy to post a review on this whether its good or bad cuz i'm all ears! (;


	4. Chapter 4 Thats what brothers are for

_"Hey Don." Raph walks in the garage with a towel ready, draped across his shoulder for the greasy mess he is about to get his hands on._

 _Donnie is already laying under the Shell Raiser, legs poking out, foot immediately tapping to the beat of the rock music Raph puts on. He'd prefer not listening to distracting tunes while he works on his baby, but this is how his older brother works. It's either they both listen to it blasting through the garage, or Raph puts his headphones in and doesn't talk the whole time. And Donnie has to admit, he sometimes loves the talks him and his hotheaded brother share._

 _"Your late. I already fixed the garbage launcher, and I've been trying to fix the turbo oil line for at least an hour and a half." The genoius slides out from underneath the Shell Raiser, arms crossed on his plastron in annoyance, completely covered in grease from head to toe. Raph tosses him the blue towel that was across his shoulder and grabs his wrench from the toolbox, joining his smart ass little brother on the cold garage floor laying flat on his shell._

 _Their last interference with The Foot really messed up Donnie's baby in more ways than one, leaving the genius and the hothead furious. They had JUST fixed her up that fucking night and she is already trashed. Tigerclaw is going to pay for these claw scratches he put in the side of her. So here they are fixing her up AGAIN, the day after their little brawl with Shredder's stupid peasants._

 _"Sorry Don, someone had to rock Leo to bed. He can be pretty damn stubborn when he has a cold." The emerald turtle shrugs, smirking thinking to how he rocked Leo right into the mattress then to soft sounding sleep just five minuets ago._

 _Donnie rolls his chocolate brown eyes in annoyance. "Do you want to get sick to, Raph?" His olive green hands reach for the o-ring seal as Raph loosens the bolts holding the turbo oil line in place and pulls it right out making old greasy oil dump all over the two terrapins._

 _"AH SHIT!" Raph quickly and easily slides out from underneath the Shell Raiser with Donnie following right behind him._

 _Wiping dripping old turbo grease off his shoulder blades Donnie can't help but go into doctor mode. "Dammit Raph! Are you alright? Did any get in your eyes?" The taller turtle walks up to Raph's shell that is turned facing him, Raph chucks the wrench across the room making Donnie flinch when he hears the tool collide with the shelf on the other side of the garage._

 _"It got in my fuckin' eye Don!" His hands move up to his left throbbing, and turning a pinkish red eyeball._

 _Rushing over to his side, Donnie grabs his arm and helps him walk to the kitchen sink and shoves the larger turtle over so far that his upper plastron is inside the sink along with his big head. "Okay this isn't going to feel good, but you are going to have to make sure you keep your eye open so the water flushes all the grease out of your socket." The genius slides the dirty red mask off Raph's head and turns the facet on full blast holding Raph's shoulder down to keep him in the sink._

 _"FUCK! THIS SHIT BURNS DONNIE!" Raph hisses as the purple clad turtle struggles to keep his brother down._

 _"Well maybe if you were wearing protective goggles we wouldn't be in this situation! Now stop squirming, its almost all the way out. Your just lucky Mikey did the dishes this morning."_

 _"Oh i'm sorry Donatello, I was a little distracted from fuckin' Leo inta' the mattress a few minutes before ta even think 'bout my damn eyes getting' oil in them!" He spits out sarcastically._

 _Donnie turns off the water and grabs Raph's hand pulling him up out of the sink. "Come on dumbass, going to have to wrap that eye up just to be safe."_

 _Once they get out of the kitchen the two turtles head into Don's lab. The purple clad turtle gestures for the small wooden stool for the sai welder to sit on as he grabs the gaze and cotton pad out of his drawer. When he turns back around he is pleased to see his brother actually cooperating. Normally when it comes to Raph he never lets Donnie, let alone anybody, try and help him with his injuries._

 _With a small smile on his lips Donatello gently wraps the gaze around his brothers swollen eye and back around his head. "How is your eye feeling now?"_

 _"Like its been brutally abused." His green eyes narrow up at his doctor._

 _"It should feel like that for a few hours, and it will be puffy for at least three days. You can't, and I repeat CAN'T itch or touch it! That will just make it worse. Got it?" The gap toothed turtle's hands sit on the sides of his hips._

 _"Comprendo Doctor Donnie. I got it, really. Do ya think I'm Mikey or somethin'?" He chuckles leaning on the feet of the wooden stool, balancing with his shell against the wall._

 _Rolling his eyes, Donnie picks up all of the medical tools he used and turns around putting them back in there place in the drawer. The bo wielder heads to the table and grabs two towels, tossing one of them over to Raph, who misses and the fabric hits him right in the face. The tempered turtle growls and shoves the towel off his face, wiping down his greasy hands._

 _"Now your starting to look like Mikey." Donnie chuckles and sits down in the chair next to Raph, wiping his hands clean as well._

 _"Whatever. We gonna finish this turbo oil line or what?" Head still leaning on the wall, his good eye glances over in Don's direction._

 _"Shell no! We will work on it when you can see out of both you eyes! You can't even catch a towel Raph. Rest a little bit, then we will fix my baby."_

 _Not wanting to be put on bed rest the emerald turtle sighs and crosses his arms over his plastron. All of this shit stared because he couldn't think straight and put on damn safety goggles! Well thinking back to it he had a pretty good reason. And now that he is kind of is on bed rest like his mate, they both get to spend lots of time in bed, together._

 _"Leo's gonna kill me." Raph sighs scratching his eye patch._

 _Donnie swats his hand away. "What did I just say about the scratching!"_

 _Leo hates it when Raph gets injured. He always gives him this look, every single time its the same one. Although Raph plans on playing it off like it was nothing like he always does, even though it hurt like shit. He's surprised Mikey didn't come in and see what the hell was going on._

 _"Thanks fer patchin' me up, Don." The sai wielder puts his hand on his olive skinned brothers shoulder and gets up. Might as well get a few rounds on the punching bag if he can't tinker in the garage, then hit the showers._

 _"That's what brothers are for, Raph." Donnie smiles at his brother then turns to his computer to go work on his new tech he's been working on when Raph leaves the room._

* * *

Groaning, Donnie lifts his head up off of his desk and sighs when the paper he was using as a pillow follows him up, sticking to his face from drool. The computer light is the only light shining in the lab, and by the quiet sounds nothing but sewer water running through the lair, everybody is asleep. Lifting his numb arm up that had fallen asleep, he pulls the soaked paper off of his cheek and tosses it into the small trash bin next to his computer desk. Pushing his rolley computer chair back he gets up and grabs his empty coffee cup heading to the kitchen for a fresh batch.

He sure knows how to make a mean cup of coffee, although out of all of his brothers, Raph has been the only one who has mastered making coffee better than Donnie. And the emerald turtle doesn't even drink it! He only makes it for Donnie, the exact way he likes it, when the genius is busy working on tech or an experiment.

Satisfied with his delicious warm caffeinated liquid running fresh through his veins he gets back to work. He has been making new coach roach sized cameras to put in Stockman's lab so they can figure out what they are dealing with, and hopefully find out how to turn Raph back with out having to go in the Foot quarters themselves. The last thing they need is somebody else getting turned into a child when they are already one team member down.

Tongue poking out between his lips, he tweaks the last wire into place and slides his safety goggles up with his finger. That's one more camera down. Two more to go.

Sliding back out of his chair he picks up the small surveillance camera up and brings it over to the other three he made, placing it gently down in the plastic bin with the rest. It is ridiculous how long it takes to make one of these dumb spy cameras. Making a normal sized one would be so much easier if it weren't so obvious in plain sight and if it would crush the roach!

The purple clad turtle heads back to his desk but stops when he stubs his toe on the corner of the lab table. "Dammit!" He curses grabbing his toe he winces in pain as his little pinky toe suffers pins and needles. Its a pain only comparable to watching Bambi's mother die: Stubbing your damn toe.

He sits his butt on the cold floor waiting for the pain to stop. In his mind he knows it will never go away. This is something unfixable. Something you have to stop and wait for the pins and needles to vanish.

 _Why am I always the one who has to fix things? What if I can't fix this? What if Raph is stuck like a child forever? Will he grow up? Or is he stuck this age?_

Donnie's head sulks down, his hands rubbing his temple in frustration.

 _Everybody is counting on me. Raph is counting on me._

Grabbing the corner of the table, Don pulls himself up ignoring the tingling in his toe and heading right back to work.

* ~ 000 000 * 000 000 ~ *

Leo opens the door to the lab caring a freshly woken up Raph on the side of his hip, not surprised to find his genius little brother knocked out in front of his computer. He finds him in the same position every morning. The guy never gets any sleep!

Leo shakes his olive green shoulder lightly. "Don. You fell asleep on your desk again. Wake up."

Donnie jolts awake startling Raph, making the child's eyes go wide and hold on to Leo tighter. His bottom lip curls and a whimper escapes his mouth but before he can fuss anymore, Leo plops a binky in his mouth and softly pushes Raph's head down onto his shoulder, rubbing soothing circles on his shell.

Donnie reaches for his coffee cup and Leo picks it up before the sleep deprived turtle can reach it. "No more coffee for today, you need to get some rest in your actual bed. And that's an order Donatello."

Sighing Donnie rubs his face knowing not to argue when his Leader gives out orders. "No morning practice?"

"Not for you. I'm letting you slide today." Leo puts the coffee cup down to wrap Raph's red blanket around him better, then picks the cup back up just to be sure Donnie wont het any ideas.

"I finished the spy cameras. We just need six roaches and we can set -" A big yawn stops him from completing his sentence and Leo uses that as cue to get him moving to his bed.

"That's great Don, we will figure out the plan when you wake up." Leo cuts him off from continuing his sentence.

The gap toothed turtle tries to continue again but Leo holds his hand with the cup up. "Bed. Now!" And points to the door.

Donnie sighs, getting up slowly and heads to the door. "Hey Don, your the best you know that?"

A small smile peeks on the tired turtles lips as he turns around to face Leo and sleeping Raph. "That's what brothers are for."

* * *

 **A/N: Shout out to mother hen Leo in this chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5 Cross my heart

"So the plan is simple, get the roaches in and we get out. No interfering and only keeping to the shadows. Full ninja mode, we cannot afford to get anybody else turned into a baby, or worse." Leonardo firmly states as he leans against the metal table in the lab with a map of the Foot quarters flat out in front of him.

"Splinter and me will watch Raph while your gone." April says from across the lab sitting in Donnie's computer chair, with Raph sitting in her lap softly playing with her red pony tail with a questioning look on his face, he's probably confused on why she isn't bald and green like his brothers.

Leo can't help but smile at Raph playing with her hair. The Leader has grown to enjoy his little mate and tends to feel empty when he isn't around the little turtles presence. Master Splinter lets Raph sleep in Leo's room now, after he found the two turtles asleep together on the couch one night with Raph on top of Leo's plastron and Leo's arm around Raph's little shell sound asleep he decided it was better to not separate them. In the short period of time Raph has been a child the old rat hasn't seen neither of his sons sleep so peacefully.

"Each of us will have two roaches. We will all be going to place them through different parts of their headquarters without going inside of it," Donnie points to the map and Mikey walks over with Casey right behind him to see the map better. "I color coated the map to where we each will go. Mikey your color is in orange like your mask, Leo's is blue like his mask and Casey yours is pink."

"Why the fuck did I get pink?" The gaped toothed hockey player glares daggers into the back of Donnie's head offended that he got such a girly color.

"Cuz' it matches your eyes!" Donnie says sarcastically clasping his hands together fluttering his eyes. "It's pink because I made the damn map at four in the morning and I was all out of coffee. Pink just happened to be the closest color at the time so you get what you get!" Casey rolls his eyes at the sarcastic comment and moves closer to see where he has to drop off his two bugs, ignoring the finger Donnie is pointing at him.

Leo rolls his eyes at the argument, trying to stay focused he points to the rooftop of Murakami's place. "We'll meet here after. Got it?" Leo eyes everybody in the room, satisfied to see them all shake their heads in approval, then keeps his focus on Mikey who shakes his head sternly.

"Got it Leo. This is for Raph, no screw ups this time. Cross my heart!" Mikey holds his hand up and crosses his finger over his heart on his plastron. Leo nods back at his little brother trusting his word.

April picks Raph up, moving him comfortably to the side of her hip and stands next to Casey. "Ya hear that knucklehead? You get in, then you get out. No looking for fights." Casey looks up at her blue eyes, then to his best friend who is sucking his thumb. "Fine."

This whole situation has been really hard on the hockey player. He knows if the 19 year old Raph was here he'd be itchin' to go cook fishface himself and make him into a nice smoked meal. Out of all the weird shit Casey has seen, he has to admit this is the weirdest. This even tops when he met Master Splinter, a giant rat. He rests his elbow on the table and his face in his hand. Sighing, he can't help but look at Raph wishing his best friend was back to normal.

Donnie grabs the old shoe box off the table and opens the lid, pulling out a roach. "Alright so we have to be extra careful with these, they are fragile and if you even hold them the wrong way or angle you could damage or brea-" Donnie gets cut off by a high pitched scream.

Pointing his tense finger Raphael shrieks and is wiggling trying to get out of Aprils grasp. The redheaded girls eyes go wide at the sudden outburst and starts to panic not knowing what to do. "WEO!" His arms shoot up to Leo who runs over to his aid, taking him out of April's arms who gladly lets him take the screaming turtle. "Shh it's alright Raph. You are okay, I wont let it get you." The blue banded turtle sooths into the shaking child's ears. Tears roll down off his cheeks onto Leo's tightly grasped shoulders as Raph keeps crying. "Donatello, put that thing back where it came from or so help me!"

Donnie blinks in embarrassment and does as he's told, closing the lid. How could he have been so thoughtless? "It's alright Raphie, it's gone now." Leo kisses a tear off of Raph's cheek and rubs his soft bald head. Master Splinter runs in eyeing the scene. "What is happening in here?"

Raphael has never cried in terror like that before, it startled Splinter from his place on the couch watching his evening soap opras. Kim was cheating on Doug with Ryan! How could Splinter have not noticed that earlier? He should have know she was a player. He had to put his show on hold to check what the cause was of the sudden shrieking. Donnie ducks his head down in shame, cheeks a little pink. "It's my fault Sensei. I forgotten Raph is scared of coach roaches, I wasn't even thinking.'

Splinter sighs in relief. "There is no need to feel ashamed Donatello, it was nothing but an accident. Perhaps you should wait to give the bugs out until after you leave the lair. Be safe on your mission my sons." And with that the rat takes a now sleepy Raph from Leo, who was hesitant to give his mate up and watched his father walk out of the lab with the child. April kissed Casey on the cheek and followed Sensei out the lab door.

After they got out of the lair Donnie carefully handed out the bugs and the team all made there way out of the sewers trailing behind Leonardo. The fresh air feels so crisp as it blows through Mikey's orange bandana tails when he jumps from one roof to another. The goofball has to restrain himself from cheering in joy about how good it feels to be back into action. The only times he has been out of the lair is to get baby supplies from the junkyard with Don. There is no way he is going to mess this mission up.

With Casey behind his shell, trying to keep up with the three ninja's Mikey can't help but feel bad for Raph back home. Hell, the child doesn't even know how badly he'd want to be topside, if only he remembers what topside even was. Thinking about Raph is making the orange clads stomach knot up. Mikey misses the 19 year old Raph. The Raphael who would tease him, laugh with him, protect him, and even hit him.

Before Raph and Leo became mates and confessed to each other, Mikey used to be super close to Raph. At night Mikey would always come into the Hotheads room whenever he had nightmares. The youngest always felt the safest with the emerald turtle.

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _His little green feet touch the cold stone floor of his room. He carefully makes his way through his messy sanctum making sure he doesn't step on any of his comics or action figures. Once he finds his door he quickly turns the nob and bolts down the hall stoping at a familiar door with a 'keep out' sign, without bothering to knock he lets himself in, ignoring the sign and closes the door behind him._

 _Mikey makes his way over to the hammock where his brother rests sound asleep snoring softly. Carefully, he opens the swinging death trap and climbs in, making the hammock sway as he lays down next to his brother snuggling up to his side for warmth and pulls part of Raph's red blanket up to his shoulders. He isn't quite sure if he likes sleeping in a hammock compared to the hotheads old mattress, but honestly its better than sleeping alone. Just being next to someone is comforting enough for the goofball to have a peaceful night of blissful sleep._ _Finally, he is able to breathe and relax._

 _Stirring in his sleep Raph peeks one eye open not surprised to find his little brother in his room again for the umpteenth time this month. "Mmm.." He groans rubbing his face with his hands. "Another nightmare?" His deep voice is hoarse, filled with sleep and a hint of annoyance._

 _Out of all of his brothers, Raph's voice has gotten the deepest. Although Mikey still isn't sure why or how his voice has changed, there was nothing wrong with his older voice. Leo's voice is starting to change now to now that Mikey is thinking about it. Sighing in agreement the sea green turtle nods his head and sniffles, not wanting to think about his scary dream._

 _"Ya really should tell Don or Sensei bout this Mike, it's gettin' worse." Raph says through a yawn and turns to his side facing the wall._

 _With a big shell now in his face, Mikey groans. "I knooooow. I just don't wannaaaa!" He wines throwing his arms in the air making the hammock swing._

 _Raph quickly sits up frowning and places his foot on the floor to make the swinging bed come to a stop. "Dammit shell for brains! One of these days you are gonna flip us over and I ain't gonna let ya come in here anymore!" Flinching at the swear word, the younger turtle ducks his head in his shell. Raph has been using cuss words more often and the orange clad turtle still isn't use to hearing such a colorful vocabulary escape his brothers mouth, especially when those words are used at him._

 _Popping his head out of his shell, the trickster suddenly gasps in amusement. "Ohhhh, so I should tell Master Splinter about my scary dreams like you should tell Leo that your totally crushing on him!" His little high voice squeaks with joy with a big grin on his face. But that grin is stopped when he feels a big hand on his mouth pulling his shell down to a warm plastron, gripping tight._

 _"Who the shell told you?! - I um.. I mean - Ugh..." The sai welder stutters in embarrassment not knowing what to say. He's never been good with words and right now he really needs to say something to the blabber mouth or this shit will spread dammit!_

 _Mikey may not be as smart as Donnie, but he's no fool, and he can tell Raphael is blushing hardcore even though he cannot see his face. Heck, he can even feel the sudden heat coming off of his brothers body! The sea green turtle can't help but grin under his brothers sweaty hand. Sticking his tongue out he licks Raph's whole hand. "EWW! MIKEY!" Raph shouts shoving the giggling turtle away from him causing the hammock to rock to much to the side - FLOP!_

 _Both turtles land flat on their shells with a loud THUD!_

 _Raph reaches for his pillow, which is now on the floor, and chucks it right at his little brothers face. Before he can start yelling and arguing, Mikey rushes up to the lamp on the cardboard box Raph uses as a nightstand and flicks it on, he holds a finger up to his lips quieting the angry turtle. "Shhh! Leo's room is right across the hall, we don't want to wake him up or he'll come in here asking questions." Raph blinks looking down at his feet, fists still clenched he lets out a sigh and starts fixing his bed._

 _Blue eyes widening at Raph not yelling, he decides to join in and help make the bed. Neither terrapin said a word to each other the whole time. Once everything got all cleaned up and the lamp was turned off, Mikey was surprised when he climbed inside the hammock with his brother, that he didn't get kicked out. Actually Raph didn't say a word, he just had his shell turned facing him. Finally able to relax again, Mikey pulled the covers closer to his plastron ready for sleep to kick in._

 _He was almost asleep when Raph's voice made him jump. "Don't tell anybody, okay Mikey?" His voice barley a whisper._

 _"Don't worry Raph, I won't tell another soul. I promise." He whispers back with a small smile on his face. He totally knew it! Raph has been acting strange around Leo lately. Mikey may not be good at keeping secrets, but he will keep this one locked away, just for Raph._

 _"Cross your heart?" Raph's green eyes blink in the darkness filling the room._

 _"Cross my heart."_

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

The corners of Mikey's lips curl up at the memory. They were only two dumb 13 year olds at the time, but Raph was always there for his little brother. Even when Mikey knew he was being an annoying little pain in the ass.

Seeing The Foot headquarters in sight Mikey shuts his thoughts out when Leo does his weird leader hand signal thing that Mikey still doesn't fully understand, but everybody split up so it must mean to move out. Remembering where he is supposed to place his little spies the turtle in orange runs through the back alley behind The Foot building, keeping to the shadows he places one of the roaches in the small crack in the wall, satisfied when the brown bug crawls in with ease. Running to the right side of the building he gets ready to drop off the next coach roach.

Tightening the grappling hook, Donnie cracks his neck to the side and starts climbing up the west side of the building. Once he reaches the middle of the top of the building and the ground, he can't help the small smile on his face when he releases the roach in the small hole in the wall. He was the creator of this hole himself while in a serious combat with Razar, the dog threw him off the roof. The genius had his grappling hook and it snagged into the side of the building, once again saving his shell.

Casey flung his hockey mask down on his face, smirking to himself when he barley caught a glimpse of Donnie climbing back down the building and disappear into the shadows. Sliding down the fire escape of the apartments across the street he lands gracefully onto the floor of the alley. He slides his hand into his pocket grabbing a hockey puck with a red dot on it and tosses it on the ground in front of him, then unzips the carrier the two coach roaches are in carefully grabbing one.

"Hold on tight little guy." He sticks the bug on the puck and pulls out his hockey stick, swinging it back he hits the puck sending it flying to the front door. "Gongala!" Casey whispers. The hockey puck stops right before it could it the door, and the roach somehow safely arrived to its destination, crawling off it slides through the crack of the front door. A small and silent flash shined, and the puck self destructed. Casey can't help but fist pump the air, surprised that it actually worked.

Leaping to the top of the building Leo's eyes flickered to white. One with the shadows, he quickly and quietly places his coach roach through the already broken window then heads to his next destination. This has to work. They are going to get his mate back. Once the katana welder reaches the back side of the roof he slides open the back window, just a crack, to slide the bug in.

His feet automatically start running to the edge of the building as he front flips off of it and lands on the the next roof. And the next, and the next, till he reaches Murakami's. He isn't surprised to be the first one to arrive, his drop offs for the coach roaches were the closest in distance. Now all he can do is wait for the rest of the team to make it here.

Moving towards the closest ledge towards The Foot headquarters direction, Leo sits leaning his shell against the wall and pulls his T-Phone out from his belt holding it in his hand just in case. Compared to the other missions they have had this one isn't nearly as dangerous, but that could change in any minuet. And Leo is ready.

 _(FLASHBACK)_

 _"Why are we at Murakami's?" Leo questions._

 _Raph shrugs, dropping the basket he carried with him and pulls out a green blanket laying it down on the floor of the roof. "I dunno much 'bout dates, April says your supposed ta go out to dinner and stuff. But ya know, we are giant mutant turtles, we can't just go to a random restaurant."_

 _Leo's eyes raise up when Raph pulls out two candles and a box of matches. After he lights the mint scented candles he glances up at Leo and pats the blanket, offering him to sit. Leo sits down criss cross style. "I thought this was a training run."_

 _Bending over the blanket on his hands and knees reaching for the basket, Raph's eyes meet his gaze with a little hint of worry but he covers it with a smug grin as he continues digging through looking for the silver wear. "Would you rather be on a trainin' run?"_

 _Leo eyes his mate up and down, he can't help but shiver at the sight. Raph's arm holding up most of his weight causing it to flex as he pulls out the forks, his legs directly in front of his face and to top it all off the emerald turtles tail flicked. Its something Leo noticed. Whenever Raphael is focusing really hard on something, his tail flicks and starts wagging. Damn tease._

 _"Hell no." Leo was a little surprised hearing his own voice come out full of lust._

 _A big smirk grows on the red masked turtles lips. He puts the forks down on the blanket and crawls on top of Leo, straddling his lap a deep churr rumbles through his throat as he rubs their lower plastrons together. "We've never fucked topside before." Leonardo's eyes roll to the back of his head when Raph's teeth meet his neck._

 _"T-There's a first time for everything, right? We just have to be q-quiet." Now it's Leo's turn to churr. Raphael pulls away from Leo's neck and presses their lips together for a very heated kiss. His hands on both sides of Leo's face as their tongues dance in each others mouths. The blue masked turtle grabs onto Raph's biceps feeling each curve with his thumbs making him moan. Raph pulls away biting Leo's bottom lip. "God your so hot." Leo mumbles with his lip in between his brothers teeth._

 _When Raph slides down to Leo's bulge, green eyes starring at him the whole time he sticks his tongue into his slit, that's the moment when Leo knew this was going to be the best first date ever._

 _(END OF FLASHBACK)_

Looking across the rooftop Leo's eyes find the exact spot, right next to the satellite dish and the air conditioner box where him and Raph had their first date. Of course they actually ate dinner, that was right after they had sex. Then they fucked again for desert.

Casey and Donnie caught Leo's eye, he can see them both running across the rooftops side by side. Sighing, a smile spreads on Leo's face glad to see them safe. Once they made it on the rooftop they both had a confused look on their faces. "Where's Mike?" Donnie asks panting.

"I was going to ask you the same question." Leo frowns and glances at his phone as if it holds the answer.

Casey pulls his mask off and squints his eyes looking across the buildings in the distance, hoping to see the nutball headed this direction. He jumped when he heard the turtle he was looking for directly behind him. "Yo dudes! Did ya get all your roaches in?" Mikey throws his arms up excitingly with a to-go bag of food in his hands.

"Did you really get takeout? That wasn't apart of the plan." Leo sighs in frustration, but then smiles and puts a hand on Mikey's shoulder, happy he made it.

"You scared the shit outta me Mike!" Casey thumps the side of the orange masked turtles head.

"Well I'm sorry Donnie gave me the two drop off locations that were farthest apart from each other! And yes, I did get takeout. You can't expect me to be on top of Murakami's place and not get his bomb ass pizza rolls!" He holds his huge to go back up gesturing to it.

"Well lets eat them when we get back to the lair. We need to check on those cameras!" Donnie shoves Mikey's shell closer to the fire escape.

Casey follows behind Donnie. "Yo Don, I totally saw ya bro! Ya gotta work on stickin' it ta the shadows more."

The genius groans rolling his eyes. "When your on the side of a building where the moonlight is shining directly on your shell, no shadows in sight, it's sort of IMPOSSIBLE to stick to the shadows when there is none available!"

Following the team over to the ledge Leo chuckles at the argument and makes a mental note to practice 'ninja mode' more often, he looks back at the spot him and Raph were sitting on their date with a small smile on his lips.

 _We will get you back to normal Raphie, cross my heart._

* * *

 **A/N: Sooooo sorry for the late update! The holidays have been SUPER busy for me! So I made this chapter a bit longer than my normal ones. Although its kinda all over the place.. I've been writing bits and pieces of it when I got the free time. Plus my internet crashed while I was writing it making me have to re-write most of it -_-**

 **I hope all of you are having a good Holiday season! Don't be to shy to write a review (;**


	6. Chapter 6 Fireworks

Raph's little emerald green hands hold on tight to Leo's knee's for balance. He lets go but as he starts to wobble back words his hands find Leo's knee again to re-balance himself. "Come on Raphie, you can do it!" Leo's lips curl into a big grin as he cheers his little mate on. The blue clad turtle slides Raph's hands off from his knee and holds onto them as he stands up off the couch bending down to help the little turtle stand up straight. Its a little hard walking on two feet when you have a heavy shell on your back.

The little monster has mastered crawling and standing in place, but when he is around Leo or Splinter he'd rather be carried. Mikey runs over to the other side across the pit and plants his shell on the cement floor. "Come to Mikey, _little_ man!" He encourages holding out his arms, ready to catch the little terrapin.

But instead of the normal blank stares Raphael gives, this time his head turns slightly to the side, a small growl escapes his mouth and gives Mikey a sharp, big green eyed glare. Michelangelo's eyes go big in shock, Leo notices his baby brothers arms go down slowly in confusion. "What's wrong?" Leo asks, clearly confused at what just happened. Raph pats Leo's hands, shooing them to let go and takes a wobbly step, followed by another, then falls landing flat on his shell.

Leo stands up straight ready to hear crying, but to his surprise Raph stands back up with help from the couch and slowly makes his way to the dojo, crawling up the steps from the pit and turns the corner.

Blinking at what the fuck just happened, Leo chuckles, proud of the little guy for walking the first time but in his own stubborn way, and turns his attention to Mikey. "I think you offended him."

"How can you offend a one year old?" Donnie asks walking out of his lab empty coffee mug in hand, overhearing the conversation.

Signing, Mike sits up and moves to the couch, planting his shell deep into the old cushions and reaches underneath himself to grab the tv remote he just sat on. "Well when that said one year old is Raphael, I'm just surprised he hasn't done that before." The turtle says dully as his flips through the channels on the television, blue eyes filled with boredom. He decides to stay on the channel six news where the fireworks will soon be lighting off, celebrating a new year.

Donatello laugh echoes from the kitchen as he fills up his cup with the caffeinated drink and walks behind the couch after his beverage is fully filled. "Well you offending him made him actually walk away, did it not?"

Splinter walks outside of the dojo carrying a still annoyed Raph in his arms. "Indeed it did." His tail flicks Mikey in the legs, a hint for him to scoot over so he can sit on the couch as well. Groaning, the orange clad turtle sits up and leans his shell into the back of the couch crossing his legs.

He is the only one Raphael throws fits with, shoots glares at, and doesn't listen to, and its starting to bug the freckled turtle. I mean who can compare to mother hen Leo, and doctor Donnie, and Master Splinter?! "As you can see everybody is gathered around Time Square waiting for the ball to drop and fireworks to begin to start off 2017," The brown haired woman on the tv announces. That's when Mikey got an idea, a risky idea.

If he can't get Raph to like him, then he'll have to do something he knows the nineteen year old Raph would love. But he'll have to get Raph alone first...

"Any luck with the spy roaches, Don?" Leo questions through a yawn. He's been watching Raphael nonstop ever since Mikey blew up on him in the kitchen, and his tiredness is starting to show through his fearless leader mask. In fact, now that Mikey is actually looking at his older brother, he looks like he got hit by a bus! His blue eyes are droopy with bags underneath, and he stands with his shoulders low.

Its like a switch flicked on in Donnie's brain. He had a good five minuet break from not having to think nonstop about the spy roaches, and figuring out another way to fix Raph if this plan doesn't end up working out. Sighing he rubs his tired eyes with his hand. "The roach that found Stockman's lab lost its camera sound somehow. So I signaled roach number four to take its place, and well, since they are coach roaches it is taking him a while to get there. But The Shredder has been in there a countless amount of times, and from what it looks like he isn't happy with Stockman."

Leo walks with Donnie into his lab, still talking about the spy roaches but Mikey fades them out. Now that they are busy and out of the way he needs to figure out a way to get Splinter away from Raph..

Getting up off the couch Mikey heads into the kitchen and sits down at the table. He normally gets better brainstorms in here. Plus his stomach angrily rumbling at him isn't helping, even though they just ate a big dinner thirty minuets ago. Mikey scoots out of his chair and opens the up fridge. Damn they are in desperate need of a grocery store trip.

He pulls out the last slice of pizza with a sigh, and leans his shell against the counter chomping away on the cold slice of heaven. As if the pizza had magical powers and suddenly gave Mikey the best brain blast Jimmy Neutron has ever had, the turtle grips his 'chucks in his belt and smiles with an evil grin and starts boiling the water in the tea kettle. Licking his greasy finger tips, he walked over to the stove when the kettles whistle called him and quickly whipped up the meanest cup of tea.

Walking back into the pit with the cup in hand he sits next to Splinter and Raph on the couch. If he is going to get Master Splinter to leave, he can't lie. Nobody can lie to Master Splinter, he's got this creepy mind reading powers and automatically knows. "Here Sensei, I made ya an awesome batch of nice soooothing warm tea!" Mikey practically sings, handing over the steaming warm cup to his father.

The rat takes the tea cup from his youngest son. "Thank you, Michelangelo." Raph eyes the cup and gives it a stinky face with his nose scrunched up. He has never liked anything about tea. "Yucky!" His small voice chirps as he points to the cup in disgust.

"My son, why have you given me chamomile tea?" Splinter questions before taking a small sip.

Mikey was expecting this. He knew his father would sense the sleep boosting drink before Mikey even brought out of the kitchen. "You look tired Sensei, so I thought making some bomb ass tea would help settle your insomnia." Mikey shrugs and stretches an arm over to top of the couch.

Although Splinter wouldn't say he had insomnia, he has been rather tired lately from all the stress that's been in the lair. He hasn't been able to reach Raphael's nineteen year old spirit through meditation and he is starting to fear that there is no way to get his son back to normal. The rat takes another sip of the warm tea and already is starting to feel the effects of it. "I can watch Raph till Leo and Donnie come out of the lab while you rest, father." Mikey suggests.

"Perhaps I should rest for a while." Splinter hands Raphael over to Mikey, a little hesitant at first and slowly gets off the couch heading to his room. "Thank you, Michelangelo." A little smile appears on his lips before he exits the room leaving Mikey alone with Raph.

A little growl form the small turtle got Mikey's attention. "Oh come on little red, you cannot seriously still be me mad at me!" In response, Raph crosses his little arms and turns his head to the side glaring at the wall. "Well lucky for you, I'm an AWESOME younger bigger- well now olderish brother, but yet I don't really think of you as my younger brother, but yet in a way you are now a one year old so I guess you are-" He cuts himself off noticing the child's blank stare at his face and starts laughing.

"And you have no clue what the shell I'm saying! SWEET! Now you can't yell at me or tell me I'm a shell for brains!" Mikey cheers at himself and scoops up the small turtle exiting the lair. His feet stop moving and a gut feeling rushes over him. A small part of Mike feels like this is a bad idea, but the other parts of him is screaming to do it, so he shrugs and continues on down the tunnels of the sewers slushing his feet through the water happily. Raph is so gonna love him for this!

Before he reaches the ladder to the manhole cover he stops and puts Raph down. "Alright bud, ya gotta gear up before we head up top." Reaching in his belt he pulls out a small red mask he made a week ago, and ties the bandana around the kids green eyes, smiling when he realizes its a perfect fit. "Now remember, we are ninjas! Full ninja mode, be one with the shadows or whatever shit Leo blabs on about before missions, got it?" Raph blinks a few times getting used to the mask then smirks devilishly.

Mikey took that as a 'yes sir' and picked the young ninja up in one arm and used the other arm to climb up the ladder. Unfamiliar with the new surroundings and weird smells, Raph looks around with a curious grin on his face as Mikey closes the manhole cover. "Pretty damn cool huh? You used to love it up here bro!"

Smiling down at his brother, Mikey notices a familiar glow in Raph's green orbs. It feels like he isn't just a one year old, like apart of the old Raph is still in there somewhere just itching to break free. And the goofball plans on helping breaking the real Raph out. He heads to the fire escape and starts climbing.

* * *

"Ah here we go! Roach number four made it to Stockman's lab." Donnie leans forward in his computer chair to get a better view of the screen. Perfect timing, Saki just stormed in the lab.

Leo brings his stool up closer so he can see as well. "Its about damn time." The leader says through a stretch and leans against the desk the computer sits on.

"Shhh!" Don puts his finger to his lips and cranks up the volume.

"STOCKMAN!" The evil man yells storming over to the mutant fly and grabs him by the neck slamming him down hard on one of the lab tables. "Tell me you've fixed this!"

"M-Massster-" The fly buzzes out trying to speak but is breathless with the death grip on his neck. Shredder nearly throws the fly out of his hold and onto the floor of his lab, back facing him in frustration as the bug gasps for air. Breathing hard in anger, Saki screams throwing one of the beakers from the table down next to Baxtar's head making it break into small pieces. "TELL ME!"

Stockman jumps in fear and covers his head going into Childs pose. "T-The tracking d-device wasn't wor-rking on the te-est subjects s-sir! I j-just need a f-few more minuets a-and we should have Raphael's l-location..." He shakes on the floor and nearly jumps when The Shredder stomps over to him, picking him up by his wings throwing him to a lab table as if he were as light as a feather.

"Get to work peasant! I need the turtle here to train him as my own. This time it _better_ work." Saki spits out, voice like venom. He pulls his wrist up to his face and presses a button on his armor. "Tigerclaw, come watch Stockman. If he fails, punish him." Baxtar's shoulders tense up, but continues to work at a faster pace. Through the spy cameras, Tigerclaw's voice barley makes it through. "Yes Master Shredder." And with that Saki sharply turns around and exits the lab.

"DAMMIT!" Leo runs his hands over his bald head in frustration and quickly exits the lab, in search for a specific turtle. Storming through the empty pit he makes his way into the dojo, disappointed to find it empty as well. He opens the shoji door to find Splinter peacefully asleep with no sign of Raphael. He closes the door quietly as he can and hurries into the bedrooms frustrated to find no trace of Michelangelo nor Raph. Where the fuck are they?!

"Leo!" Donnie runs into the bathroom but is soon shoved out by his older brother who is heading for the kitchen at a fast pace, very unhappy to find it unoccupied.

Panting Leo leans against the kitchen table, eyes filled with anger. "He fucking chipped him." His voice hoarse. "He wants to raise him himself, just like he did to Karai."

Not wanting to get close, Donnie walks over near the kitchen just at its entrance. When Leo is this pissed off, he gets dangerous and things get ugly. So its best to keep a distance. "He wont get Raph, Leo." Donnie says with a soft voice, trying to calm the turtle down.

"He'll still try Donatello! We got to figure out a damn way to get that fucking tracker out of his neck!" Leo storms out of the kitchen and pulls out his T-Phone punching in Mikey's number. "Track Michelangelo's phone." He orders Donnie and heads near the lairs entrance pacing back and forth. Why is it taking Mikey so long to pick up the phone?! What the hell is going on?!

* * *

Setting Raph down on the roof, Mikey sits next to him and leans his arms back behind his shell, stretching his legs out in front of him and swings his feet side to side. He remembers loving fireworks as a kid, and he really remembers Raphael being extremely fascinated by them as well. He picked a rooftop not to close, but not to far away from Time Square, a roof with a perfect view.

"Ready to be amazed Raphie?" He lifts his eyebrows up and down and pulls up his T-Phone out of his belt to check the time. 11:59 perfect timing! He sets his phone on the ground next to him and wiggles around to get more comfortable.

A high pitched noise shot straight through the sky making Raph's head look right up, an explosion of blue bursts lighting up his green eyes. A big grin stretches out on his lips. "Mike! Mike!" He tugs on his brothers belt and hops into his lap. "Wights Mike!" And points to the sky when more fireworks fill the stars.

Oh yeah, defiantly the favorite now. Mikey smirks and wraps an arm around Raph's plastron. It's been two years since Mike has seen actual fireworks in person. Normally they don't have enough spare time to come out and watch them, juggling between the foot, the krang AND the Triceritons, they have been pretty busy. The prankster almost forgot how beautiful they are.

Shooting into the sky and lighting it up with gold sparkles. Humans may be weird but they sure can make some cool things. Although Don could probably whip up some fireworks like the world has never seen in less than thirty minuets.

Feeling buzzing on his butt startled him. What the shell? Looking down where buzz feeling is coming from, Mikey notices his phone is ringing. He picks it up and looks at the caller ID 'Leo'. "Shit!" Clearing his throat he answers.

"H-Hey Leo! What's up bro?" Raph looks up at him, slightly confused because Leo isn't here with them, then turns his attention back to the fireworks.

"Where are you?" His sharp tone rings through his ears.

Gulping at Leo's tone he takes a deep breath. "Just out watchin' the fireworks."

"Please tell me you have Raphael with you."

Mikey pauses for a second, part of him wanting to lie so he doesn't get in trouble but knowing Leonardo that's a bad idea to lie when its about _his_ mate. "Yeah, he's here."

The freckled turtle can hear Leo sigh through the phone. "Goddammit Michelangelo! Don't you dare ever take him topside again! Do you know how dangerous that is?!"

He was about to defend himself but he stoped when he overheard Donnie in the background. "I got his location Leo. We better move, because Stockman has their location to." The geniuses voice barley a whisper through the phone. "Shit!" Leo curses.

"What?! Stockman knows whose location? Mine?" Mikey's grip tightens on Raph.

"Wow, I guess you really aren't as stupid as I thought you were." A Brazilian accent says from behind Mikey's shell making the turtle flip around and pull Raphael even closer. "That serum worked like a charm, Shredder will be happy to see his new pet."

"Leo, ya better get here fast." Mikey says before he hangs up the phone and slips it into his belt. He quickly slides out one of his 'chucks and twirls it around. "Fishface."

* * *

 **A/N: This story keeps taking different twists! I had a few different ways I wanted this story to go, but I guess its turning the darker version. Sorry to leave it at a cliff hanger. Its 12:21 AM right now and I am pretty worn out!**

 **Thank you SO much Christina for your review! It made my day to see that you like it! I'll post the next chapter tomorrow just for you! (;**

 **Happy New year everybody! I hope 2017 is a great one.**


	7. Chapter 7 Solution

_Sighing, Raphael's eyes scan the digital clock on his homemade nightstand next to his hammock. 1:43 AM. Everybody should be to sleep by now. He climbs out of bed with a smile on his face and escapes his bedroom as quietly as he can. He listens in on Mikey and Donnie's rooms as he passes by glad to hear light snores, and keeps his trek down the hallway._

 _Once he reaches his destination he pauses for a brief second, butterflies filling his belly, making him want to growl in annoyance but he just pushes the jittery feeling aside as he opens the door and closes it behind him._

 _"Took you long enough." A sleepy Leonardo says through a yawn as he looks up from the book he is reading and scoots closer to the wall making room on the bed for two._

 _Raph can't help the slight blush on his cheeks, he ducks his head down low to try and hide it and makes his way over to the bed. Dammit, they have been sneaking into each others rooms for about a month now and he can't get it together still?! Ever since Master Splinter gave them their own rooms when they turned ten years old both older turtles found it hard to sleep at night away from one another._

 _Although they are fourteen year olds now, the urge to sleep beside one another had only grown stronger. Leonardo came into Raph's room one night claiming he was unable to fall asleep and although Raphael was freaking out on the inside, he had the most blissful night of sleep of his life that night. Ever since then, the two always snuck around switching rooms every once in a while, although Leo doesn't really care for a hammock._

 _Climbing inside the warm bed with his older brother, Raphael can't help the sudden urge to snuggle up with the turtle and press kisses to his green skin. But he shoves the desire aside and pulls the blue covers up over his shoulders and takes a deep relaxing breath, inhaling Leo's scent. Chocolate, incense, and mint tea. Best damn smell Raph has ever smelt in his life. He could breathe Leo in every single day._

 _Leo folds the page he is on down so he'll remember his page in the morning and sticks his book in his lap. Stretching out his tired arms with a moan, followed by a yawn, he leans over Raphael and places his book on his night stand next to his blue mask, then lays down on his side facing Raph pulling up the covers over his shell._

 _That was the hottest fucking thing Raphael has ever seen in his fourteen years of life. The way his brothers leaf green arms stretched out and flexed right in front of his damn face, and God that moan.. Licking his lips, the emerald turtle has decided he'd do anything to hear that noise come out of his brothers mouth again. Slightly aroused, his cheeks burn in embarrassment when the older turtle lays down facing him, hopefully Leo can't see in the dark._

 _"Your green eyes shine in the darkness, Raphie." Leo whispers softly and brushes his hand over Raph's cheek, deciding he likes the way his hand feels on his little brothers face he keeps it there. Raph's eyes go wide, and he swallows what feels like knives down his throat. Without even knowing what he is doing, his hand finds Leo's that's resting on his face and intertwines their fingers together, perfect fit. "What?" He is barley able to spit out._

 _"Your eyes are so Goddamn beautiful.." Leo whispers so quietly, if Raphael wasn't so turned on right now, he'd never had heard it escape his brothers mouth._ _But Leo isn't finished. "...God Raph, I can't hide this anymore." Leonardo slides closer to his brothers body to where their plastrons are touching and rubs his thumb in circles around Raph's hand, looking hard for any sign his brother gives to stop._

 _He can feel his heart pounding through his plastron so fast, he thinks he could possibly have a heart attack. But instead of worrying about that he is more worried that if Leo scoots any closer, he'll feel the bulge forming on Raph's body and get grossed out. Leo's free hand grips Raph's chin, lifting it up so their eyes lock in the dark. "This might ruin everything, and you might hate me. But dammit Raph! I like you. I-I really do." The smaller turtle stutters suddenly feeling embarrassed. "By that I mean-"_

 _"More than ya like Mike and Don, more than brothers." Raph interrupts, the butterflies coming back but he doesn't shove the feeling away this time. Leo likes him! He actually likes him back!_

 _"Y-Yeah." Leo shifts under the blanket, suddenly uncomfortable. When Raph doesn't respond, Leo releases his brothers hand from his own and sits up. What did he just do? He shouldn't have said that. Raph obviously doesn't feel the same way or he would have said something! What did he think was gonna happen?! That Raph would actually like him back? That they would become mates and the whole family would accept incest into their family?!_

 _Feeling Leo release his hand and sit up made Raph's heart drop. "Just forget I ever said anything." Leo spits out, voice filled with annoyance._

 _"What?! Forget? How the fuck do you expect me to just forget that Leo?" Finally able to find his voice, Raph sits up suddenly angry that Leo would even say that._

 _"Because it doesn't matter! I should have never told you!"_

 _That stung. Wanting to storm out of the room and completely forget this whole thing happened is normally what Raphael would do, but there is no way in hell Raph is going to run from this, not from Leo. "Fuck you for sayin' that."_

 _Leo turns over to Raph's direction, surprised with the sudden hurt in his voice. "Raph, I know you are disgusted with me. So things would just be better if we forgot this ever happened." Leo hung his head down low and continued. "We shouldn't be sneaking around in each others rooms anym-"_

 _"Shut up." Raph interrupts realizing what the problem is and shoves Leo down into the mattress. He climbs on top of his brothers lap and slowly rubs his hips against Leo's making the leader gasp when their bulges rub together, making it harder to keep himself tucked away in his hidden pouch. Raph places his hands down beside Leo's face, green eyes glaring down at his blue ones. "I don't want to forget." The emerald turtle purrs and leans down slowly pressing his lips against Leo's._

 _His lips are warm and soft. He's always dreamt of kissing Leonardo. When Leo wraps his arms around Raph's shell pulling him closer with a moan, Raph cant help the smirk on his lips. This moan was much louder and deeper than the one Leo did while he was stretching._

 _A turtle could get used to this._

Biting his bottom lip, Leo can't help but think back of that night. The night where they both confessed to each other, the night where his life really began. His foot pushes harder on the gas pedal and his grip tightens on the steering wheel of the shell raiser, he brushes through cars like its Mario Kart and he has the star power. He _wont_ let them take Raph away from him.

Donnie holds on tighter to his seat, gripping the arm rest. He just got off the phone with April and Casey, they are going to meet up with them at the rooftop. Mikey just HAD to pick the old hotel roof that is closer to the Foot headquarters. The gap toothed turtle clenches his teeth when Leo does a sharp left turn into an alley and slams the breaks hard so he doesn't run into a wall.

Barley spending time to put the Shell Raiser in park, both turtles jump out and use their grappling hooks to get to the top of the roof faster. Leo makes it to the top first, katanas drawn ready for a fight. Ready to get this adrenalin out of his system and get Raph back home safe. When he gets a clear view of the roof he drops to his knees.

 _No._

Leo felt his heart sink.

Mikey lays alone, knocked out at the top of the building. No sign of Raph. Donnie rushes over to Mike's side and lands on his knees, feeling his neck for a pulse. He lets out a sigh when he feels his heart beat. Leo rushes over next to Donnie and scans his little brothers body, nothing to serious but bruises and scrapes. The youngest turtle groans, eyes fluttering open he looks around slightly confused where he is, but once he realizes he is on the roof he jumps up and runs to the ledge of the building.

"DAMMIT!" Mikey yells punching the ledge making his knuckles crack and bleed, but he ignores the pain. He slides his shell down the wall shaking his head. "I'm so sorry Leo, I shouldn't have brought him topside." His voice shaky as he speaks.

Donnie walks over and sits next to Mike. "It's a good thing you did bring him topside, or they could have gotten the location of our lair."

"But they took him Donnie! I couldn't save him!" His fists clench and tears start to roll down his cheeks. He doesn't dare look up to Leo who has been silent this whole time. "I thought taking him to s-see the fireworks would help him like me better, s-so I could be a better brother. But after Fishface came, I was gonna escape and get out of t-there, but Razar was right behind me. He took Raph right out of my hands! Why am I so stupid?! I should have known they would be looking for him! And yet I still-" He gets cut off by a fist in his face.

"Shut up. We are going to get him back Mikey. Tonight." Leo turns around and hops down the fire escape, finding Casey and April down in the alley.

"Your already a good brother Mike, you didn't have to do anything to try and prove yourself. You didn't get injected to right?" The gap toothed turtle asks, voice full of concern. Mikey shakes his head. "No, they would have took me with them if they did."

Donnie stands up shaking some dust off his arms then offers Mikey a hand. He was hesitant at first but excepted the offer and soon was lifted off the ground. "Leo's right, we will get him back, and when we do he's gonna come home normal." Don says with determination in his eyes. He doesn't know how they'll fix Raph, but if they are going to the Foot headquarters they might as well get the antidote while they are there.

Once the other two reach the alley Casey eyes both of them, confused when he doesn't see his young best friend anywhere. He thought Leo looked a little off when he just stormed into the Shell Raiser without a single word. "Raph?" He asks, eyeing both turtles who look disappointed.

Donnie shakes his head and puts a hand on Mike's shell as they climb in the Shell Raiser. "We gotta go get him Casey."

April gives Casey a stern look, without actually telling him, he knows that look means not to ask about it. Sighing, the vigilante runs his fingers through his greasy black hair and kicks the back tire of the Shell Raiser. "Dammit." He mumbles to himself. "Come on Case, lets go." April puts her hand on his shoulder and climbs in next to Mikey, Casey follows behind her.

The whole ride to the lair was dead silent, nobody said a single word. Mikey didn't even bother to move his gaze off his feet until Leo parked in the garage. "Donnie, go watch the cameras. I would but I'd probably break the damn computer screen." Leo says the last part through his teeth. Don nods and doesn't waste any second heading for the lab.

"Mike, go tell Sensei what happened." His voice is still completely filled with anger and frustration, but the youngest turtle does as he is told and walks into the dojo. He knows Mikey didn't mean for any of this to happen, but Raph is gone now. He is in the hands of Shredder. Leo clenches his fists and takes a deep breath. "Casey, we are going to need a bunch of explosive pucks if my plan is going to work."

"I'll get on it." Casey tips his mask down and goes into the lab with Donatello to get to work.

April looks up at Leo. She wants to comfort him, tell him it will be okay. But she knows Leonardo. He wont eat or sleep until they get Raph back. So she stays silent waiting for her orders.

"Remember how to make the smoke balls, April?" He asks her more softly than he's spoken to the others.

"Yeah, Donnie taught me at the farmhouse a year ago. It takes a while to make them, but I'll make as many as you need Leo." The red headed girl puts a hand on his arm gently. "We wont leave without him." When Leo doesn't respond she heads into the lab. Casey has his duffle bag opened and is in the corner with a pile of normal hockey pucks, already has the top of one opened and is tweaking the inside of it.

Donnie is watching the security cameras like a hawk. With a sigh, April starts looking on the shelves for her first ingredient to make the smoke bombs. Grabbing three colorful glass tubes she walks over to the table where Casey is at and starts mixing them together in a beaker. Donnie distracts her when he quickly gets out of his chair and bolts out the lab, by instinct April follows.

"LEO!" Donnie yells running to the eldest turtles room and bursts in without knocking. The Leader was starting to light his meditation candles, but Don bursting in blew them out. Fear struck his blue eyes, he was about to speak but the purple clad turtle started talking before words could form out of Leo's lips. "There is no cure."

That's it. That was enough to make Leo lose balance and fall right on his bed. He sits on his shell and puts his hands in his face. Donnie quickly moves in and sits next to him. "Stockman said this serum boots growth hormones to a high speed, so Raph himself is the solution. He was talking to the Shredder and was saying they have one month tops till Raphael has grown back to his normal age and strength. Since he has been in the lair with us, the serum was still slowly running through his veins but Baxtar used some type of machine on him that showed him the liquid is fully throughout his whole body now. He will have his memories back as he ages, and they plan on brainwashing him so he will think he grew up apart of their clan."

It takes Leo a minuet to fully process this in his mind. "Dammit Don don't scare me like that!" He shoves the genius in the arm in frustration. "I thought he was stuck a baby forever!" Leo lets out a deep breath and runs this through his mind again. "So they want to turn him into a mindless killing machine."

"And wipe us out." Donnie finishes his sentence.

"What about the tracker in his neck?" Mikey asks walking in the room with Splinter and April in tow.

"We are going to have to surgically remove it. But that will have to be done when we are at the Foot building so they don't follow us." The purple masked turtle swallows his dry spit down his throat. "If we aren't careful, he could die during surgery from blood loss."

"So we'll have to distract the shit out of Shredders peasants to make sure that don't happen." Casey smirks leaning against the door frame.

"I'll go with you all. There is a good chance Saki will be in this fight as well, and I cannot risk losing anymore of you." Splinter says firmly holding his walking stick. "April, please call the Mutanimals and inform them the situation. We could use all the help we can get."

"Casey, keep making those pucks and double the amount you were going to make. Mikey you are in charge of watching the security cameras while Don gets all the medical supplies he needs, then after that you are going to help April with the smoke bombs." Nodding, the all exit Leo's room and go back in the lab. "Sensei, have you been able to reach Raphael's spirit in the spirit realm?"

"I'm afraid I have not been able to, my son. Perhaps you should attempt to reach him, after all you are his mate. You two always have been attached mentally and spiritually. In the mean time I'll join Michelangelo." The rat leaves the bedroom as well and closes the door behind him.

Leo lights the candles back up and sits with his legs folded over one another. For once in the past few weeks, he actually feels hope. This plan has to work. Reaching into his belt he pulls out Raph's red bandana and ties it around his wrist.

He takes deep breathes and relaxes. Inhale, exhale. In and out.

He opens his eyes and is on a random rooftop in Brooklyn, but instead of the uneasy feeling Leo gets being topside, this time he is more relaxed. This is why is meditates. The spirit realm is always so calming no matter what place. But really though, out of all places why is he in Brooklyn? His eyes roam around his surroundings. The sun is starting to set but instead of an yellowish glow, everything is more of a blueish purple making things look fuzzy.

"Leo?" A familiar rough voice calls from behind his shell.

Smiling in relief Leo turns around and can't help the tears running down his cheeks. "Raphael."

* * *

 **A/N: So the memories/flashbacks will always be in _italics_. This story is mainly about Leo and Raph, so it will pretty much revolve around how they got together and smutty fluff. I didn't add the attack with Fishface because I'm not really good at writing Mikey, but don't worry these next few chapters will have lots of action in it. Oh and I had to write about Leo and Raph's first kiss (: They are so cute! The first part of this chapter is defiantly my FAV! Also these future chapters will be filled with all kinds of memories so if you have any cute ideas for some let me know! I take ideas of any sort (;**


	8. Chapter 8 What once was mine pt 1

"Raphael." The warm breeze blows through the tails of his blue mask as he runs up to his mate and wraps his arms around his brothers shell in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry Leo." Raph's warm breath tickles Leo's shoulder, he isn't hugging back. He just has his head hung low, buried into Leo's leaf green skin. Blinking in confusion Leo puts his hands on Raph's shoulders and pulls him forward to look into his eyes that are filled with sadness.

"I thought I lost you, Raph. I thought I'd never see you the same again! That I'd never be able to apologize! What the hell are you apologizing to me for?" He asks, fear and confusion on his face. Raph has nothing to apologize for. He did nothing wrong.

Raph drops his gaze to the floor, eyes wet but not daring to let any tears fall. "I'm a horrible mate Leo. I don't deserve ya! You deserve someone who will listen and not get angry at the damnest things! Leonardo, you mean everythin' to me. That's why I gotta let ya go." Leo's hands move up to Raph's cheeks and he lifts his head up, but his green eyes won't meet his blue ones.

"What? What are you talking about shell for brains!?" He bends over so Raph's eyes finally look at him. "I was wrong to call a break from our relationship! I need you in my life Raph, without you around I lose my mind! You push my buttons sometimes and disobey my orders, but if you didn't then you wouldn't be yourself. Goddammit, I _wouldn't_ have you any other way!" A tear rolls down Raph's cheek and Leo rubs it off with his thumb that's still holding his face.

"I'm in love with you, Hamoto Raphael. Please come back to me." Leo rests their foreheads together, still looking straight into those beautiful green eyes who are searching for any hint of doubt.

Raph cups Leonardo's cheeks slowly and softly, just like Leo is doing to him and closes the gap in between their lips. Leo actually loves him! They stay like that until they have to part for air. But after a few breaths Leo goes back in for a more heated kiss and slides his tongue between Raph's lips with a moan.

"I love you," Leo mumbles against Raph's lips and presses small kisses to his lips and then his cheeks. "So fucking much!" He kisses his forehead, ignoring Raph's quiet chuckle and grabs his mates hand intertwining their fingers together, he starts kissing his emerald green fingertips.

"I lo – " Raph starts but suddenly stops and grips his plastron. "Ahh oh God, Leo!" Raphael collapses on his knees on the roof in pain. Completely startled Leo kneels down by his side and puts a hand on his shell, eyeing his mate for any injuries.

"What is it?! What's wrong?"

Leo swears Raph was just about to say _it_ back...

"It's Sherdder!" Raph grits through clenched teeth, and pulls his knees up to his chest putting his head on his knees. "Leo I can't fight back! _Please_ hurry Fearless, I hate being a fuckin' helpless child! I swear ta God when I'm nineteen again imma stick my sai's in his damn throat! " He spits out blood from his mouth onto concrete floor and clutches his plastron in pain.

Somethings wrong! Saki must be beating his small body, or hurting him in some way in order for it to be effecting his spiritual form. But there is no physical wounds on Raph's spiritual body. Looking back at Raph, things start to get fuzzy. He is losing him! Clenching his fists in anger, Leo kisses Raph's temple and softly rubs his head. "I'm not going to let him do anything to you. He'll have to kill me first." Leo takes Raph's hand in his making Raph's green eyes squint up at his as he flinches in pain. "I love you so much! I promise I'll get you back if that's the last thing I do!"

And that was the last thing Leo saw before he awoke back in his room around the circle of candles alone.

He needs to get to the Foot building, and fast. Not sure how long he has been in the spiritual world, by the looks of his burnt candle wax it's been long enough. He gets up to his feet so quickly, it blows out all of the candles. Running out of his room and down the hall he makes his way into Raph's room. He fights the urge to stay in here and inhale his mates scent and quickly grabs what he came in here for shoving it in his belt. Leo storms out of the room and down the hall running into Mikey who has a worried look on his face.

"We need to move, now!"

"We gotta get there fast Leo!" Mikey rushes over to the garage beside the blue masked turtle. "I was just on my way to get you bro, Splinter, Don and April are already on their way and Casey is in the Shell Raiser." He rushes inside their vehicle and sits next to Casey, slamming the door shut behind him. Leo wastes no time and pushes on the gas. "The surveillance cameras..." Mikey whispers looking down at his feet in disgust. "Who would do that to a baby?"

"Shredder, Mike. He's a sick son of a bitch." Casey mumbles through his hockey mask and puts a hand on Mikey's shoulder.

Gritting his teeth, Leo grips the steering wheel tight making his knuckles go white. He doesn't want to know what Saki is doing to his mate, and he doesn't need to know. Because Casey is right, he's one sick son of a bitch who is going to pay for what he's done. Shredder is a filthy man, he has no honor! Turning an opponent into a child just to beat and torture him and brainwash him into a brainless killing machine!

Growling at the thought Leo takes a sharp left making the tires screech on the pavement running the red light. He can hear Casey and Mike fumble to hold onto something behind him but neither dares to comment about his reckless driving. Not when he's driving like this to get to his mate.

If its one thing Casey has learned, its not to mess with the two lovebirds.

 _Groaning, the black haired hockey player plops down on his twin sized bed and lands down on his back. He pulls out his cell phone and glares down at the screen. April had to cancel their date AGAIN for the zillionth time this week because she is 'piled in homework'. If there is one thing Casey has learned its that you shouldn't take honors and AP classes, you got to be in the fundamental classes in order to get no homework!_

 _He just has to be into the smart chick._

 _Tapping on his screen he goes to his recent phone calls list and scrolls down to Raph's name. Its been a while since the two have gone out bustin' heads and gotten a drink. Ever since he came out about liking Leo, things have been different. Its not everyday ya find out your best friend fell for his own brother. But not everybody's best friend is a huge mutant turtle that lives in the sewers by day and fights bad guys ass at night either._

 _Shrugging, Casey presses Raph's name and the phone starts to ring. He places the phone on his shoulder and turns his cheek to the side to keep the cellular device from falling as he reaches into his hockey bag next to his bed and grabs a puck. Spitting on the black round surface, he uses his elbow of his long sleeve black shirt to clean off the dirt and dust on the puck. "Dammit Raph, pick up the phone ya ass!" Casey mumbles to himself, unsatisfied that the phone keeps ringing._

 _The ringing stopped a few seconds later and Raph's deep voice soon comes through the line of the phone. "What?!"_

 _"Pfft nice ta talk ta ya to pal!" Casey rolls his eyes in annoyance and was about to speak again but stopped when he heard panting through the phone. "Why are ya panting?" The vigilante questions as he sits up in his bed and crosses one leg over the other._

 _He grins to himself when Raph growls. "I'm busy Jones! What do ya want?"_

 _"April canceled again, and its been awhile since we been out doin' what we do best man. So I was thinkin' tonight we should go out." Casey spits on the hockey puck again and rubs all the dirt off, smiling to himself when he can see a faint reflection of his attractive self through the black circle._

 _"Can't tonight." Casey can swear he can hear how hungrily Raph's voice is through the phone. "I told ya imma be busy with Leo fer a few weeks." He hears what sounds like a mattress creek and an animal.. purring in the background?_

 _Oh yeah. Its Spring time. Mating season. His best friend just has to be a turtle! Wait are they goin at it with ice cream kitty in the room?! Groaning, Casey rubs his face with his hand, not wanting to know. "Fuck you, ya nasty! Why do ya always gotta answer the phone while you and Leo are goin at it?"_

 _"Way ahead of you Casey." Leo's voice purrs in the background and kissing noises come through the line. So Leo purrs like a fuckin' cat when he is turned on?! What's he talking about anywa.. oh. Bad choice of words Jones. Bad choice of words._

 _"Sorry Case, gotta g-go! Shit Leo!" Raph shouts in pleasure, making Casey go deaf in his left ear in the process. Glaring it the phone and rubbing his ear he grabs the phone and puts it next to his lips. "Have fun poundin' Raph inta the mattress Leo." And with that he hangs up._

 _He should've known they'd be fuckin' each other. They always are whenever he calls._

By the time they arrived in front of the foot building, the Mutanimals and Don's group are already there, they seem to be discussing the plan. Leo quickly exits the Shell Raiser and jogs towards the group. "Stick to the plan. We got to move."

Everybody nods, natural response to Leo's leader voice and they all quietly follow behind his shell. Walking through the front door shouldn't have been so easy. Where's the Foot soldiers?

Leo holds his hand up once they reach a corner, signaling the others to stop. Once he hears the sound of a baby crying his eyes flick to white, Leo signals for them all to split up. Don, April and Splinter all head down the left hall and the rest of the group moves down the right following the cry. Its a good thing Donnie made those cameras or they would get lost in this maze of hallways.

With Slash, Mikey, Letherhead, Rockwell, Casey and Pigeon Pete in tow behind his shell Leo sprints down the purple colored carpeted floor towards the source of the crying, but the crying suddenly came to a stop. Leo's heart starts pounding through his plastron and he kicks his foot at the door busting it down with a loud bang.

He draws his swords and holds them out in front of him, getting in a low stance. Stockman's lab is bigger than it looked on camera. Looks like everybody is here for the party. In the center of the lab is a cut up and bruised Raphael strapped down onto the table. He appears to be unconscious, but he already looks older than he did when Leo last saw him.

"Good, you made it. I didn't think you'd be here to see this." Shredder smiles evilly, and grabs the tongs.

Growling Leo throws several ninja stars, one knocked the tongs right out of his big hands. Mikey runs over to Razar with his nunchucks swinging and a glare on his face, ready for a fight. Casey starts shooting his explosive pucks at the Foot ninja's that are piling in the lab, blowing each one up with a "GONGALA!" And the fight begins.

The mutanimals circle in. Stockman tried taking a run for it but Rockwell stopped him by using his telepathy powers to know ahead of time, and rammed him into the wall. Slash sprinted at Rocksteady with his mace in hand, and swung it right into the rino's horn making it chip.

Saki growls and clenches his fists making his swords slide out close to Raph's unconscious face. "You idiotic turtle. I have your brother and I plan on keeping him! He belongs to me now foolish boy!" He spits out and makes a small scratch on Raph's cheek making Leo scream and launch himself at the bastard.

The sound of metal hitting metal echoes through Leo's ears. He's got to focus and draw Saki away from his mate. He glances at the second floor of the lab, glad to see Don, April and Splinter up there waiting for Raph to be in the clear. He couldn't help but notice the hint of worry in his fathers eyes mixed with anger. A flash of red fabric flew before Leo's face as he swings his katana up with Raph's bandana still wrapped tight around his wrist, blocking a hit to the face and stumbles back.

Shredder takes the bait and follows the leader, yelling he runs after him. With Raph all clear, Splinter jumps down to the bottom floor with April and Donnie behind his tail. Rushing over to his unconscious son, he feels like he got hit in the gut when he gets a closer look at the child. Raph looks like he has been mugged. Black eye, cuts all over his arms and legs and on his cheek. The rat slowly moves his gaze up at Saki's back as Leo hits him clear in the jaw, his eyes narrow to slits and his hands clench together. How dare he do this to a child?! To his child!

"Did they put the brain worm in him?!" April questions as she grabs Raph's arm and looks down at him with concern.

"No, the brain worm is over there in its cage still." Donnie moves his head to the right indicating where the worm is and pulls his bag off his shell pulling out his medical supplies, trying to focus with all this racket going on around him. April rushes over to the cage and opens it, sticking her small tanto sword in the worm making sure it wont live to control Raphael's brain.

Although she'd never admit it, Raphael sometimes can scare her. Although she knows on the inside he is a big teddy bear, she'd never want to live a day in her life where he can't control himself and is personally hunting them down to kill them. Glad to have killed the worm she turns around to help Donnie but is stopped when another tanto sword is pressed to her neck.

"Hello, O'Neil." Karai smirks and walks towards the red headed kunoichi until her back hits the wall and her cold sword presses closer touching her skin.

April sighs and rolls her eyes, clearly not in the mood for fighting. She is supposed to be helping Donnie! Glancing over Karai's shoulder she notices Splinter somehow got caught in Leo and Shredders fight leaving Donnie defenseless.

"Aww come on April! Don't you want to play?" Karai bites her lip and leans closer to April's face pressing harder on her neck making blood drip. "Normally I like to fight with Leo, but you have always had a certain taste I just couldn't resist." The Japanese girl licks the blood off of the red headed girls neck.

"I don't have time for this you bitch!" April closes her eyes and pulls a smoke pellet out of the side pocket of her yellow jump suite and throws it on the ground making purple smoke fill the air around them. She gets low to the ground, feeling the cold floor with the tips of her fingers and takes a deep breath. Concentrating on her psychic powers, she feels Karai coming at her from behind and quickly turns around sending her foot in the air giving Karai a kick in the face making her stumble back. April lifts her hands up and spreads out her fingers, causing Karai to lift into the air with an almost scared look on her face as April swings her arms. Karai flies straight into the wall with a loud thud knocking her out cold.

Now that she is out of the way, April rushes back over to Donnie's side, surprised nobody tried to attack him. "Sorry I got held up. How is it going over here?" She questions looking down at what Donnie is doing.

He is currently using prongs to pull out the tracker and trying to hold a rag to Raph's small neck to stop the bleeding at the same time. "Not good. Hold the rag for me?" Donnie's voice is starting to shake as he tries to hurry.

April takes the bloody rag and holds it in one place with her hand and throws her fan out at a Footbot who was running towards them, hitting it right in the neck making it collapse onto the floor. Things would be a lot easier if Splinter was here helping, but April understands why he left to help Leo.

"I got it!" Donnie pulls out the bloody pill shaped tracker and places it on the table. "Now I just have to stitch him back up and get more blood into his system." Donnie's shaky hands reach for his bag and pulls out the needle and thread. He quickly starts sewing up the incision he made.

"I cannot believe it. The rat here in person, going to witness his son die and see his other turn to my command." Shredder laughs darkly with Leo laying on his shell and his foot pressed onto his plastron keeping him down.

"You let him go Saki! This fight here is between you and me!" Splinter's tail flicks to the side as he grips his sword tight watching Shredder's every move. If he attacks, The Shredder will not hesitate to crush Leonardo.

He presses down harder on Leo's plastron making his shell crack. Leo shuts his eyelids tight in pain and grits his teeth together. "The boy attacked me first Yoshi. I must finish what he started." He hears Saki's venomous voice above him and opens his eyes glancing over to Raph and Donnie. Raph is still breathing, Donnie is patching him up so he must have gotten the tracker out.

Leo looks to the side of him and sees his twin swords, clear out of reach. This is never going to end. Shredder is a monster. As long as he is alive he will always be a threat to this family. Leo glances up to his father who is ready to attack, then finally looks up at the monster himself. Stuck beneath his feet, Leo growls and lifts his head up, biting down hard on Saki's flesh drawing blood. Shredder yells in pain and kicks Leo right in the face.

Splinter takes that as his chance and runs up to his brother, their swords meet as Saki defends himself. Leo ignores the pain in his face and gets up off the floor and reaches for the sides of his belt. His leaf green hand grips the handles of Raph's twin sai's and he pulls them out running full force at the Shredder who just knocked Splinter on his tail.

He leaps over his father and sticks the his mates sai right in the Shredder's throat. Immediately Saki gasps for air and collapses to his knees screaming in pain. Leo can hear everything around him going silent, all the other fighting has ceased. He can feel eyes all over his shell but he choses to ignore it and sticks Raph's other sai into Saki's chest.

"MASTER!" Tigerclaw shrieks and rushes over to stop Leo but Mikey's chain wraps around the tigers middle and stops him. Casey leaps over to the cat and kicks him square in the jaw knocking him out cold.

Leo doesn't take his glairing eyes off of Shredder as he pulls the weapons out of his bloody flesh, the momentum enough to make him fall flat on his face and choke out his last breath. Feeling someone's life in your hands, taking it from them. Its not a feeling Leo ever wanted to experience in his life. But it had to be done. Leo quickly steps over the mans body and rushes over to the table where Raph lays, he sticks the bloody sai into the tracker breaking it and slides the sai's back in his belt. Raph doesn't look good. He is really pale.

"He needs more blood! I didn't bring enough bags! We go to go NOW Leo!" Donnie pulls the needle out of Raph's arm and shoves all his medical supplies in his duffle bag. Leo carefully lifts Raph's small body off the cold silver table. "Fall back!" He orders everybody, and heads to the nearest exit.

Mikey rushes over to Splinter to help him run out to the Shell Raiser. He took a pretty hard kick in he leg from Saki and its probably sprained. Mikey himself is covered in scares and bruises, but none nearly as bad as the ones he gave to the Foot clan. A few Footbots are trailing behind following them. Casey groans in frustration and turns around sending five explosive pucks at the door. Music to his ears hearing the bots explode behind him.

"Casey you drive!" Leo threw the keys to the hockey player and rushes to the back of the Shell Raiser with Raph still in his arms. "Donatello he is burning up!" Leo growls and presses his hand to his mates forehead. Donnie rushes over beside Leo and Mikey climbs in last. With everybody safely in the vehicle, he closes the door behind him. Its a tight fit with the mutanimals in here as well, but it'll have to do.

"He has a fever from all the blood loss, I don't have medical supplies to stop his temperature from rising." Donnie looks up out the window to see how close the are to being home. Casey is wasting no time at all at going way over the speed limit.

Pressing a kiss to Raph's sweaty temple, Leo ignores the blood all over his hands, Shredders blood and whispers softly in his mates ear. "Your going to be okay, Raphie. We got you now. Your safe." Safe. That word rung a bell in Leo's head, looking up he glanced at each member of his clan. All of them bruised up and scratched, but alive.

Raph's body starts jerking and his breathing quickens to a fast pace. "Donnie what's happening?!"

"Dammit! He is having a seizure!" Donnie rushes over and grabs Raph from Leo's arms and gently places him on the floor on his side. "There is no way to stop it, we just have to let it play out."

Mikey moves his attention to the window and watches the secret entrance to the sewers open. The lights in the tunnel shine through the window and soon they reached the lair.

That's when Raph's seizure stopped, and so did his heart.

* * *

 **A/N: Longest chapter so far. I wanted to post this earlier but I went through quite a lot this past week.**

 **Anyways Leo killed Shredder, Raph's heart stopped beating, Leo and Raph fluff and hints of smut, Casey being Casey. Overall I'd say this chapter isn't half bad!**

 **Christina my dear you are getting extra brownie points! I will be sure to throw that cute idea in my story somewhere so keep an eye out for it! (:**


	9. Chapter 9 What once was mine pt 2

Leo's blue eyes roam all over Raph's small lifeless body in complete shock. _His heart stopped. He isn't breathing anymore_. Leo's hand lifts up Raph's already cold head and his other hand quickly lifts his sweaty body, he cradles the small turtle to his plastron and runs out of the shell raiser into the lab. The Leader didn't even realize the rest of the family was in tow behind his shell.

"No no no no..." Leo mumbles, his heart pounding in his rib cage.

Once he reaches the lab he gently rests Raph onto the table, his eyes are closed and his lips are partly open, he is looking paler by the minuet. If they don't get air in his system soon, they might not get him back. Using the heel of his hand Leo presses down on Raphael's chest and uses his other hand to tilt his head back and begins to count.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen...

Donnie rushes into the lab soon after, surprised to see Leo already preforming CPR, but brushes that aside and runs over to his medical supplies. The genius quickly grabs the oxygen mask and runs over to Raph placing it around his head, sliding it down around his mouth. He glances over at Leo, his forehead dripping with sweat, his eyes narrowed in concentration. Donnie's heart sank deeper in his chest. If they cant get Raph's heart beating again, everything is going to change. Its not the same with out the hothead! A small growl tickles Don's thorat as he heads into the cooler where they keep all their blood bags in case something were to happen where they'd need blood. They WILL get him back.

The genius can't help but think this is all his fault. He's the one who cut the tracker out of his brothers neck and it caused him to bleed out! Groaning Donnie shuffles through all the bags and pulls out one labeled 'Raph'. He rushes over to the corner of the lab and grabs the tools he needs for a blood transfusion, by the time he makes it back over to Raph, Leo is a mess.

"No no no no no no NO!" He yells as he keeps pumping Raph's chest. "You don't get to do this Raph! You don't get to do this to me!" Tears fill his blue eyes making his vision blur. "You cant leave me like this dammit! I need you to come back! love you Raphael! Please come back to me..." His shaky voice cracks as he begins to sob uncontrollably. His arms wont stop pumping Raphael's still chest, he feels a light hand on his shoulder and turns his head to the side to see its Splinter through his blurry vision.

Donnie had already placed the needle in Raph's vein in his forearm to get the blood back into his system. He connected Raph to a heart monitor and turned the oxygen pump up a notch higher. A few tears had shed from his eyes seeing Leo lose it like that, making him feel even more guilty. The second Leo stopped his compressions a big gasp made him shoot his eyes back on his mate.

The heart monitor started to beep slowly, indicating that Raph is breathing. He still hasn't gained consciousness, but he's alive. "Oh God!" Leo's eyebrows raise up as a huge breath escapes his lips, he leans down close to Raph's face. "You don't get to die on me." He whispers and rubs his hand on his small cheek before kissing his small sweaty forehead. A tear drops from his eye rolling onto Raph's cheek but he rubs it off with his thumb. "I'm going to punish you when your nineteen again." He whispers softly and grabs ahold of Raph's little hand as he sits down in the stool next to the table, and doesn't keep his attention off of Raph.

"Oh Raphael, you gave us all a scare." Splinter sighs and rubs his little rat hand on his sons forehead, it still feels hot. "Michelangelo, please get a wet rag for your brother!" Yoshi turns his head towards the door where Mikey is leaning against the frame, he must have been standing there this whole time. Yoshi's his ears twitch when Mikey's scratchy voice responds with a "Hai sensei.", he sounds like he's been crying.

"I thought I lost him." Leo's bloody hand squeezes Raph's as he rubs his thumb over his emerald knuckles softly. His heart rate going back to a normal pace seeing Raph's do the same. Leo pulls his hand up and kisses the back of his mates, then places their hands into his lap.

Splinter steps closer to his eldest and puts a hand on his shell soothingly. "Raphael is strong, he'll be able to push through this. We must have faith in him."

Mikey walks in with the wet rag in hand and sniffles as he hands it to Donnie who just finished putting an ivy into Raph's forearm for fluids. "Is he -"

"Raph is alright Mike, thanks to Leo." Donnie says with a warm smile on his lips making Leo give him a stink eye for giving him all the credit for saving Raph. He places the rag onto Raph's forehead, slightly adjusting it so it wont droop on his eyes.

"Oh thank you Lord Jesus! I didn't know what to do, I thought I lost Raphie! It was hard enough having him be a baby, but for him to be - agh I can't even say it!" Mikey finally looks up at his brothers and wipes away a tear off his cheek. He walks over to the side of Raph and looks at his chest and how it rises and sinks. He's breathing. "I'm glad he's okay."

"Me to Mike." Leo gives his little brother a small smile.

"So he is supposed to be growing at a rapid rate in the next few weeks." Donnie sighs and walks over near Leo and Splinter and continues. "He is going to have a big appetite so Mikey, I hope your ready to cook up a buffet!" Mikey's face lit up at the sound of food, he wiggles his fingers in excitement.

"If a buffet is what growing Raphie wants, then its what he shall get!" Mikey says with a big grin on his face.

"Until he can breathe again on his own, he'll have to be hocked up to the oxygen. He will also be experiencing puberty all over again which will make his mood swings all over the place with how fast his hormones will be going through his system. So please, don't upset him. And I'm mostly talking to you Mikey!" Donnie narrows his eyes at his youngest sibling who gives an offended look back at his older brother.

"I would never!" Mike opens his mouth as if he is in shock and holds his hand to his plastron.

"You all know how sensitive Raphael is. Please be kind to him and help him as he goes through this difficult time. Something is telling me he wont be the happiest as he does go through this, but we must all be there for him." Splinter says as he twists his beard through his finger tips.

"Hai. We all will be here for him father." Leo agrees, not taking his eyes off of his mates restful face. He is all beat up, covered in bruises and scrapes, dried up blood on his plastron from the surgery, but he is alive.

* * *

 **A/N: Short but defiantly needed chapter. Everything else should play out pretty smoothly. I struggled a bit with this chapter so I hope you don't mind that its small.**

 **Let me know how this story is so far! I take positive and negative reviews. anything to help me improve!**

 **Really though I don't know why you guy's like this garbage (x My writing is pretty rough, but I have improved from when I joined this website.**


	10. Chapter 10 Turtle Tots

The television light flickers on the pages of the book Leo is reading. It is an old Japanese book Raph found in a dumpster off of China Town, the pages are a little torn and worn out but the fact that Raph saw it and picked it up for him one day makes Leo smile.

The Leader in blue is currently spread out on the sofa in the pit, watching Myth Busters with Donnie who is sitting on recliner to the right of Leo. Raph comes stomping out of the kitchen with a sour frown on his face and his arms crossed over his small plastron. They had to put a lock on the fridge and cabinet drawers so Raph wouldn't sneak any extra food. Leo takes a deep breath, bracing himself for the tantrum.

Ever since Raphael gained consciousness last week, he's been quite the handful. Don says its because of his rapid growth rate and that's why the turtle is a small walking time bomb. Raph is ALWAYS hungry, he's been so emotional, and he's grown a few inches. He is teething on top of it all to. His bruises are starting to fade to a brown color and his incision cut from taking the tracker out looks like a scratch.

"YO BITCHES, DINNERS HERE!" Mikey calls from the entrance to the lair skating in on his skateboard, fresh pizza breezes through their underground home making Leo's stomach rumble.

"Took you long enough." Donnie mumbles stretching his arms out with a sleepy yawn. "I'll get Sensei."

Leo hops up on his feet, leaving the book on the couch, and quickly heads into the kitchen so Mikey doesn't eat all the pizza and swoops Raph up on his way there. The emerald turtle just glares at Leo with his arms still crossed over his chest as Leo places Raph in his highchair and serves himself a slice of meat lovers pizza, then heads to the counter to start making Raph's bottle.

Raph eyes Donnie and Splinter as they enter the kitchen and take their seats on the table, each grabbing a slice of pizza and similar looks of pleasure on their faces as they eat the Italian deliciousness. Curling his bottom lip down at the sight, the hothead doesn't remember pizza yet, but the smell of it is getting to his grumbling tummy.

Leo soon joins the table and places the warm bottle of milk onto Raph's tray with a kiss on his forehead, and takes his seat next to Raph. His big green eyes glance at the bottle in front of him and to his family eating cheesy, yummy smelling triangles.

Picking up his bottle the toddler throws it onto the floor as he starts kicking his feet in his chair, tears roll down his cheeks, startling the rest of the family members with a loud cry. And now Leo's headache is back. The leader takes a deep breath, trying to keep himself in check and picks up the luckily un-spilled bottle of milk off from the floor. Funny how even though Raph is a child, he can still easily frustrate Leonardo.

He holds up the bottle, making sure Raph sees it. "You gotta drink it bud. You already had cheerios and applesauce today." Leo says in the most calm voice he can manage at the moment. But the toddler is not pleased with milk, he turns his head far to the right to avoid eye contact with the backstabbing bottle of lies not wanting to look at it and its broken promises.

Leo sighs and rubs his temple with his fingers in frustration. Normally Raphael loves his milk! What is his problem now? Its not like they can give him normal food yet, he can't chew it down enough to swallow with only four teeth.

Licking his pizza greasy fingers Michelangelo sticks his hand on his now full happy belly and slides out of his chair placing a spit wet hand on Leo's shoulder. "Tag team bro, I got this one." Mikey says with a sincere smile on his face before letting out a long and loud burp. Man, maybe he shouldn't have eaten a whole box. Ehh who cares it was SO worth it!

"Michelangelo! Not at the dinner table!" Splinter sighs and presses his hand to his forehead in disgust. No matter how old his son gets, he always seems to 'forget' his table manners.

Ignoring his father, Mikey's blue eyes look over to the now silent Raph who is starring at the trickster with wide eyes and tears still fresh on his cheeks. Next thing you know Raphael's four teeth come to view as he starts full on laughing. He may be a pain sometimes, but his laugh is the cutest little thing, full of complete innocence. The little guy is laughing so hard that now he is hiccupping in between breaths.

Mikey's grin grows ten times the size at the sight and turns around glad to see Donnie recording Raph with his Tphone wearing a grin as well.

 _Splinter quickly and gracefully moves throughout the kitchen, carefully mixing the formula into each bottle. The rats ears twitch hearing one of his sons is fussing behind him and immediately identifies the cry as Raphael's. He has never been patient with dinner time. Soon another cry joins in, Michelangelo's of course. But he is only crying because Raphael is. Leonardo covers his ears in annoyance and Donnie just leans back in his chair sticking his thumb in his mouth, used to his brothers doing this at dinner time._

 _Yoshi starts softly singing as he sways his tail back and forth to distract the crying toddlers as he continues to shake up each bottle. "Nennen korori yo, Okorori yo._  
 _Bōya wa yoi ko da, Nenne shina ~_ _Bōya no omori wa, Doko e itta?_  
 _Ano yama koete, Sato e itta._ _ato no miyage ni, Nani morotta?_  
 _Denden taiko ni, Sh_ ō no fue."

 _A small grin forms on the rats lips as both his fussing sons become quiet._ _Juggling all four bottles in his two small hands Splinter heads over to each highchair and gives each his sons their bottles. Mikey's is the one with the most teeth marks on it, four teething mutant turtle toddlers are quite the handful. Bite marks on almost everything._

 _Milk time is one of the best times of the day. The only time when there is peace in the sewers while all four of the boys are actually awake. But the peace can only last so long when Michelangelo drinks down his milk in minuets. Yoshi thinks he should start timing the little turtle to know how fast he can actually down the whole thing._

 _A loud burp fills the kitchen making Splinters ears twitch once again. "Michelangelo! Not at the dinner table!"_

 _All three brothers turn their heads to the side to look at the youngest turtle, eyes wide in shock. Soon laughter filled the kitchen walls, echoing all through out the lair. Raphael places his bottle down on his tray in front of him and claps his hands with a big grin on his face, Donatello holds onto the sides of his chair with his head thrown back, and Leonardo wasn't to sure about laughing with the others from hearing his fathers stern voice, but just couldn't help it. The eldest is laughing so hard he has to hold his tummy._

Blinking at what he just saw, Raph just decides to brush it off and turn his attention back on Mikey. "Alright Little Red, I got the BEST idea ever! Since you can't chew the pizza, we should stick a slice in the blender for ya!"

"Eww that's disgusting Mikey!"

"No way we are going to blend pizza and have Raph drink it. That's just wrong."

* * *

 **A/N: Try saying four teething mutant turtle toddlers ten times fast! Quite the tongue twister. Raph had his first flashback. There will be constant flashbacks in these upcoming chapters and Raph will be a different age in each of them. Remember flashbacks will always be in _italics_. **

**Feel free to let me know if there is any errors, just point them out! Anything to help me improve!**

 **Next chapter will be longer, I have been very busy this past week but had to do my weekly update.**

 **This chapter was for you Christina I hope you liked it!**

 **Oh and the song Splinter sang is called "Edo Lullaby" (:**


	11. Chapter 11 Raphie

_"Its - its... SO BEAUTIFUL!" Mikey squeals in excitement as he runs full speed into the pit to praise the object more closely landing on his knees directly in front of it._

 _Leo and Raph sit on the edge of the couch with amazed glances on their faces, Donnie stands behind the couch eyeing the television questionably as the youngest turtle hugs the little 'magic talking box' as Mike used to call it, to his plastron. "Where did you get a television at dad?" The smartest turtle of the bunch asks looking up to his wise father as he brings in some snacks from the kitchen._

 _"The Gods must have sent it to us from above!"_

 _"He must have found it somewhere shell for brains." Raph rolls his eyes and leans his shell into the couch, tossing a pillow at Mikey's head which bounces off and plumps onto the ground._

 _"Thanks for the pillow Raphie!" The goofball sticks his tongue out at Raph as he slides the pillow closer and rests his head on top of it, stretching his legs out crossing one leg over the other, still directly in front of the screen._

 _"I told you to stop calling me that." The hothead mumbles, folding his arms on his plastron._

 _They are seven years old now and 'Raphie' is just a silly little kid nickname! Why doesn't anybody understand that Raph just wants to be called Raph? Everybody calls Leonardo JUST Leo, and Donatello is JUST Donnie! Michelangelo is Mikey! They are seven in a half, and Raph is sick of being treated like a baby. They just don't get it._

 _"I found it while scavenging one evening and figured it would be a good treat for all of us." Splinter finally answers and passes out the popcorn bowls to each turtle. Donnie happily grabbed it and a pillow, joining Mikey on the floor, followed by Leo. Raph ran into his room first and grabbed his own pillow and blanket then laid down next to Leo on the floor._

 _Seeing all his sons got their snack and happily eating bunched together, Yoshi gets up and presses play on the VCR and sits on the sofa eating his Chessy Balls. He had found the television, yes, but he did not tell the kids he found it a month ago and has been secretly watching Soap Opera's in peace._

 _"Coming soon to own on video and DVD." The previews start to play out._

 _"Woah I've always wondered how the magic talking box sounded like up close." Mikey says with his mouth full of popcorn and wide eyes._

 _"It's called a television Mikey." Donnie rolls his eyes in annoyance holding his hand out gesturing to the t.v._

 _"Shhh!" Leonardo shushes the two loud mouths to the right of him and puts a finger to his lips. It's their first time being able to watch a t.v. up close and he wants to enjoy it. Leo moves his shell trying to get more comfortable, he should have grabbed a pillow._

 _The movie soon starts and the four brothers couldn't be more excited. Mikey moved onto his plastron with his feet in the air swinging behind him and his fingers laced together in front of him. Donnie has his head resting on Mikey's shell, soon to fall asleep from working in his room all day trying new experiments. Leo moved up to Raph's pillow and pulled his brothers blanket on him as well, the hothead didn't seem to notice and if he did he never said anything._

 _"Long live the king!" Scar grins evilly and releases his hold on Mufasa, sending him falling into the stampede. "NO!" Simba cries._

 _Gasping, Leo grabs onto Raph's hand under the covers making the emerald turtle jump. Leo has a death grip on Raphael's hand, there is no way he'll be able to shake it off, so he just lets his older brother hold onto him. For some reason Leo touching him like this is making his little heart flutter. He peeks over to see if anyone notices but luckily Donnie and Splinter's light snores fill the room with the sound of the movie, and Mikey is to interested in the film to care._

 _"Dad? Dad come on... you gotta get up. Dad we gotta go home." Simba says softly as he nibbles on his fathers ear. The lion runs away from his dad and looks around. "HELP! SOMEBODY! Anybody..." A tear rolls down the cubs cheek. "Help."_

 _Raph feels the body next to him move. He didn't even realize Leo was this close to him. His arm is pressing against Leo's arm and their legs are touching, Leo is still holding onto Raph's hand but more softly now. He is warm, and smells nice. Now that Raph is actually thinking about it, Leo has always smelt pretty good. Wait is he crying? The only light on in the whole lair is from the television, but its not a big screen so its hard to tell._

 _"Leo, are you crying?" He asks quietly. The body next to him automatically stiffens at the question and quickly releases Raphael's hand, losing the warmth. Raph slightly hears his older brother rubbing his cheeks over the snoring and music from the television._

 _"N-No." Leo's little voice cracks. "I'm not crying!" He whispers defensively and scoots further away from Raph so their bodies aren't touching anymore._

 _Raph blinks in confusion and automatically scoots close to Leo, getting that warmth back on his skin and slides his hand into his brothers without even thinking. Now that his mind is caught up with his actions Raph's heart starts beating faster, he wants to just let go and run into his room but he can't. "It's okay, I won't tell Mikey." Raph whispers softly enough that Mikey wont be able to hear into Leonardo's ear. The nutball is way to into the movie to notice anyway._

 _Sniffling, Leo turns onto his side facing Raphael even though its to dark to see his face. "Promise?"_

 _"I promise Leo." Raph gives Leo's hand a small squeeze when he feels Leo wrap his small fingers around his hand._

 _It takes him a while to speak up, Raph thought that they were just going to sit there and stare at each other in the darkness, but Leo's quiet voice spoke up. "It's just..." The leaf green turtle pauses and takes a deep breath. "I don't want father to die." He said that last part so quietly, Raph barley caught it._

 _"What do ya mean? Is he sick?" Raph asks almost to loudly and quickly covers his mouth hoping it didn't wake anybody up. Both turtles glance over at their family behind them, Mikey is starting to doze off, Don is drooling on Mike's shell and Splinter has his hand still in the Cheesy Balls bag still sound asleep._

 _Once Leo saw that nobody noticed Raph's little outburst, he continued. "No he is fine now, but later on he could be. What if he dies like Mufasa? We will be all alone down here Raph."_

 _"We won't be alone. We got each other, Leo." Raph softly pulls his brother into a hug. Leo accepts it and buries his face into his brothers shoulder, laying halfway on top of him._

 _"I love you, Raphie." Leo mumbles into Raph's shoulder._

 _Part of Raph wants to groan and remind Leo to just call him Raph, but he lets it slide just this once. With his arms still wrapped around the older turtle, he softly whispers back into his ear. "I love ya to Leonardo."_

The door to Raph's room bursts open. "Wakey wakey Raphie! Time for practice!" Mikey's obnoxiously loud voice echoes off the walls making the seven year old bolt up into a sitting position suddenly wide awake.

The kid has been growing at a rapid rate just like Donnie said he would. It's hardly been a week and the little turtle has grown a whole foot! He has reached the age to where he can start learning ninjutsu again, but starting from the beginning. And he is starting to look more like himself everyday. He even sounds more like himself to.

"I'M GONNA POUND YOU MIKEY!" His high pitched voice yells as he jumps out of his hammock and runs after the prankster with a fist in the air.

Raph chased Mikey all throughout the lair two times, and by the time Mikey was running the third lap around he realized something. Raph is only a kid! He can't really pound his shell in, he doesn't have the muscle yet. Stopping both of his feet he comes to a quick halt causing Raph to crash into him. The impact was so hard that the seven year old flew onto his butt on the floor only making him more angry.

The little ninja growls in frustration and goes to hit Mikey but something is keeping him out of reach. After swinging his arms and not hitting any turtle for a while, Raph finally decides to look up and see what is holding him back. "Agh Mikey! You are such a pain in the ass!"

Mikey stands there, holding Raph back with one hand on his face barley putting any weight to hold the kid. Its pretty easy seeing Raph is barley tall enough to reach his plastron. He gasps sarcastically and puts his other hand to his mouth. "You owe a nickel to the swear jar! I should tell Splinter. You are only five and have such a potty mouth Raphie. Its a shame."

"I'm seven brick head! And stop calling me that!" Raph yells. His face is so red he is so angry.

Donnie rushes out of his lab and into the hallway, there the two loud turtles stand who have given him a headache. "What is the problem this time?" The gap toothed turtle sighs, coffee mug in hand.

"Mikey woke me up again in a mean way!" Raph crosses his arms over his plastron finally giving up and Mikey lets go of his face.

"Leo told me to wake you up, he just didn't tell me how." Mikey shrugs and heads into the kitchen to start making breakfast like nothing happened.

"Leo!" Raph growls and stomps into the dojo where he finds the turtle he's looking for in a meditating position on a training mat on the floor surrounded by lit candles.

Donnie sighs and rubs his temple, heading into the kitchen. Mikey is humming a song and starting to make pancakes. The purple banded turtle slides his mask off his throbbing head to ease the pain and grabs some Tylenol out of the cupboard and a glass of water before sitting at the table. After he takes the pills he sighs and leans his elbows on the table. "Remember when you said you'd be nice to Raph? Well that means don't be annoying to Raph too."

"Come on D, I'm just messing with the little guy!" Mikey chuckles and flips the pancake in the air, it lands perfectly on the pan.

"This 'little guy' will soon be the strongest member of our team with the biggest temper. He's going to remember all of this Mike, and he _will_ be pissed." Donnie calmly states and takes another sip of his water.

"Shit I didn't think of that..."

"Why did you send Mikey in to wake me up?! You know he wakes me up in a mean way Leo!" Raph says trying to sound angry but instead it comes out as a whine. He is standing in front of Leonardo who finally decides to open his eyes and look at him.

Leo sighs and blows out the candles in front of him then pats the floor gesturing for Raph to sit, and to his surprise the small turtle does so with no complaint. "Sorry Raph, I would have woke you myself but I had to do my morning meditation and Donnie was working in his lab, so that left Mike."

Raph's green eyes slump down to the floor, eyeing his feet in front of him as his thumb fumbles around with the red mask tail on his shoulder. He wants to be mad at Leo, he IS mad at Leo. But for some reason when he talks it doesn't come out as he wants it to. It must be those weird vivid dreams he's been having lately. It's like he is there in them when he has them. Its starting to freak the little turtle out. "Why can't I sleep in your room anymore?" He quietly blurts out.

This question takes Leo back. Surprised by the question he rubs his eyes with the tips of his fingers and takes a deep breath. "Don't you want your own room?" He asks in a happy tone, trying to make having his own bedroom sound like a good thing. It is in fact a good thing, but Leo himself hasn't been able to sleep well at night with out the presence of his mate there with him. He just doesn't know how Raph is going to take it when he gets _certain_ memories back.

"No. I want to sleep in your bed with you Leo. And why are you so old?"

Leo starts to chuckle at the last question but soon realizes why Raphael asked that. They have discussed telling the kid what had happened that day, that fishface injected him and turned him into a baby. But he is still to young to understand. Although something tells Leo their old Raph will be back sooner than they know it. "I may be older than you Raphael, but that doesn't make me old." Leo smiles at his young mate.

"But in all my dreams you aren't old. You are my age! And so is Donnie and Mikey! They feel so real Leo, its not fair for you guys to be older than me!" Raph drops his hand to his lap and sighs. Man that all just came out, he wasn't planning on telling anybody about these dreams.

"Okay I'll tell you what, you can sleep in my room tonight and I'll tell you about these dreams of yours in a few days alright Raphie?"

There it is. That nickname again. But for some reason it feels right hearing it come from Leo's lips. So Raph lets it slide. "Sounds like a deal Fearless."

* * *

 **A/N: Longer chapter just like I promised! Aww can you picture seven year old Raph saying sounds like a deal fearless? Cuz in my head its SO cute!**

 **Christina, I love that one shot idea! But I'm gonna save it for after this story so keep an eye out(:**

 **I don't own The Lion King or the turtles, although I wish I did.**


	12. Chapter 12 Rainy day

_A cool chill ran throughout the walls of the lair and the sound of rain pokes at the surface above. At least that's what Sensei said that noise is, being a ten year old mutant turtle you don't get out much. That means no leaving the lair unless its an emergency, or scavenging around the sewers for crap. But I feel i'm old enough to where I can go wherever and do what ever the fudge I want!_

 _So that leads to where I am now._

 _The whole lair is dark and everybody is asleep. Light snoring comes from Sensei's and Donnie's rooms as Raph tip toes by, putting his ninja stealth skills to work. The smell of rain gets stronger and stronger the closer the hothead gets to the exit of his home. He is almost free when a familiar voice scares the living crap out of him making him jump five feet in the air._

 _"Where are you going Raph?"_

 _"Dammit Leonardo! Don't do that!" The emerald turtle curses and flips around to face his older brother who is wrapped in a blue blanket with a sleepy but concerned expression on his face._

 _Leo scowls when he notices Raph has his gear on. "Father said we can't go topside, Raphael." He says in a stern voice and crosses his arms over his plastron._

 _Ugh God not this Leo again. This is the version of Leonardo that Raph just wants to punch in the face. He is so worried about following the rules and being Splinter's little teachers pet, he has to practice all the damn time! He is spending so much time in the dojo and is wearing himself out! Just look at the guy, he brought his blanket out with him and he looks like a walking zombie!_

 _It's just not fair. Leo never spends time with me anymore. Its like he is pulling away from me. I mean yeah, he looks really good practicing katas and even meditating! But can't he just spend an hour with me anymore? Am I really that boring to him now?_

 _Growling, Raph clenches his fists and rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Well sorry Splinter Jr. but I need some fresh air!" And with that Raph turns back around and heads to the door, he isn't surprised when he feels a cold hand on his forearm holding him to a stop._

 _He jerks his head to the side ready to go off on his older brother, but stops when he sees how worried and sad Leo is starring at him. "Please don't go. I don't want you to get hurt. Father says humans are dangerous and we still have a lot to learn in training. I can't let you go Raphie, I can't loose you! Just come and-"_

 _"I'm not going topside Leo, sheesh calm down!" Raph cuts his older brothers rambling off and grabs Leo's wrist pulling his hand off of his arm. The red masked turtle starts his journey into the tunnels and isn't surprised when he hears Leo's foot steps not to far behind him. A small smirk forms on his lips. "Aren't you scared Sensei is gonna get mad your wondering the sewers without his permission?" He taunts, walking through the running water as he slushes his feet. When it rains, the water comes down the sewers at a much faster pace._

 _"Someone's gotta keep an eye on you." Leo shrugs and pulls his blanket around his shoulders more. Why does Raph have to pick a cold day to go exploring in the middle of the night?_

 _Raph snorts. "Ain't nobody gotta keep an eye on me. I'm old enough to make my own choices."_

 _"We are ten Raph." Leo rolls his blue eyes and finally catches up to Raph, walking at his pace now side by side. "You know, we wont be kids forever right? Soon we'll be grown up and will have to be mature."_

 _"Pfft! Says a lot coming from you!" Raph glares and Leo narrows his eyes at his younger sibling._

 _"What's that supposed to mean?! I'm not the one always acting like a twenty year old and like you know all there is to know about life! You act all tough but really, your just another ten year old! You can't stop bad guys when they are twice your size and four times your strength!" Leo snaps and stops walking to face Raph, his arms once again folded over his plastron._

 _"That's a bunch of bullshit comin' from you! I may not act my age, but at least I don't act like a trainin' freak! All you do these days is spend time in the dojo, meditating or practicin' all day everyday! Mikey and Donnie are always askin' me when we all can play Super Smash Bro's together like we used to and get all sad when ya don't play with us!" Leo's eyes widen with this news. He opened his mouth to speak but Raph beats him to it. "You don't spend time with us anymore Leo. I miss you, Ani." Raph says in a more soft quiet tone and looks down at the floor avoiding Leo's gaze. He didn't mean to say all that stuff, it just sort of came out._

 _"Ototo..." Leo whispers softly and takes Raph's hand into his own. " I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I was so caught up in trying to be better, trying to be stronger to protect our family for when we do get to go topside, that I didn't even notice I wasn't spending time with you."_

 _"You are my best friend, Leo. Promise me you wont forget about me when we grow up?"_

 _Leo gives Raph's hand a squeeze when he feels Raph move their fingers to intertwine them together. "I promise I'll be better Raphie."_

 _A small smile peeks on Raph's lips as the two continue down the tunnel, still holding hands with Raph leading the way using the scent of rain as his guide. He hasn't been this close to Leo in a while and for some reason its making a weird tingly feeling twist in his gut. Maybe its because its been so long that its just been the two of them together alone? But its not awkward or anything._

 _It just feels right._

 _Leo didn't say anything else the whole way until they came to a stop at their destination. Taking a deep breath in, Raphael inhales the strong smell of the rain and peeks his eye through the sewer drain to see the small sprinkles of water drops land onto the black wet surface. A small waterfall of water trickles in the sewer from the drain, making that and the rain drops above them the only sounds echoing the tunnels._

 _"Is this why you left the lair?" Leo asks with smile on his face as he peeks out the drain himself, blinking when a drop bounces off the pavement and onto his forehead._

 _Giggling, Raph uses his free hand and wipes the drop off of Leo's temple with his thumb. "Yeah, I've always wanted to see rain. It smells so good."_

 _"Father said he'd take us to come see the rain, but I think he's forgotten." The blue clad turtle says as he watches the rain and sits down on the floor, pulling Raph down with him since they are still holding hands._

 _"Yeah cuz Mikey finally gave up on askin' him about it." Raph snorts, scooting closer to Leo's side so their shoulders are touching._

 _Leo lets go of Raph's hand to slide his blanket around Raph's shell to share the warmth, smiling to himself when Raph takes the blanket with no complaint or sarcastic comment. Once his brother gets situated, Leonardo finds the emerald turtles hand again and intertwines their fingers, placing his head on Raph's shoulder with a relaxed sigh listening to the soothing rain drops above._

 _Things with Raph make Leonardo happy. Raphael is his best friend and always will be no matter what happens. He may be difficult at times, but he means well. He is just a big softy on the inside and it warms Leo's heart that Raph lets him see this side of him._

 _The two turtles sit in silence, listening to the soft trickles of rain cuddled together. Its times like this when Raph could care less what is happening around him. All that matters right now is him and Leonardo, sitting here together and enjoying each others company. Raph loves all of his brothers equally, but with Leo it feels different. When he is snuggling on the couch with Mikey, he doesn't get this tingly feeling when their arms touch. Or when he is sparing with Donnie in the dojo, his stomach doesn't flutter when he is on top of his brother holding him down._

 _For some reason, Leo is just different._

 _He is so strong and brave! He always has good ideas and is always helping our brothers. Leonardo is really good at being a ninja and watching him practice katas is like watching a sunrise. Sensei took us once, and God it was beautiful. The sun rose up so smoothly, taking its time to light up the day with its rays. Man, Leo is just a beautiful turtle._

 _Turning his head slightly to the side, Raph glances down at his brother whose head is resting on his shoulder still. The streetlight from above is the only light shining down into the sewer, but its shining right on Leo's face. He looks more relaxed than usual, his lips are almost in a smile, his finger is rubbing soothing circles on Raph's hand._

 _Leo looks up at Raph sensing him starring and raises his brows. "Stop starring at me." He giggles softly, cheeks turning a tint of pink with how serious Raph's gaze is._

 _The red banded turtle laughs genuinely, and rests his head on top of Leo's. "I could get used to this." He nuzzles his head on Leo's with a smile on his face._

 _"Me to, little brother." Leo smiles and scoots impossibly closer to Raphael, dreading the time when they have to head back to the lair._

Raph growls in annoyance, standing in the shower starring blankly at the wall AGAIN! These flashbacks are happing more constantly during the day and its like the rest of the world fazes out while he see's them happening. He just drops what he is doing and its like he is having a really long and vivid daydream.

Donnie finally told me what is happening to me, only cuz I kinda flipped out the other day during morning training. I had a flashback in the middle of my kata and everybody acted like it didn't even happen! That's when I knew something was seriously wrong. Why would I see my brothers the same age as me in every single one of these weird dreams? Why would they feel so real? Why are my brothers all so much older than me? And how come they don't grow fast like I do?!

All these damn questions exploded out of me yesterday, and I maybe sorta cried to. But I couldn't help it! I was just so mad and annoyed that they all knew what was going on and wouldn't tell me.

But once they told me what happened, I understood why they wouldn't tell me earlier. I don't want to believe that I was once their age and got turned into a baby! But it all makes since, in a weird twisted way. All these dreams I've been having, they are memories. And soon I'll be nineteen again.

Groaning, Raphael rubs his sleepy face under the shower water then shuts it off to towel down. He is much taller now and has grown a big appetite. Mikey has been cooking nonstop for the past few days.

"Hey Raph I need to take some of your blood again! Come to my lab when your done!" Donnie calls through the door.

Standing on his tip toes to see in the mirror, tying his red mask around his eyes Raph sighs in annoyance. It all makes since why Donnie was always checking his health nonstop too. Raph just thought it was because he is younger than his brothers and for some reason that made Donnie more observant of his health. "If I have to." The emerald turtles high voice groans loud enough for Donnie to hear through the door.

The sound of water dripping in a bucket near the wall from a crack in celling is the only sound in the bathroom. Donnie really should fix that. Its been raining all day long. At least that makes it smell really good in the lair.

Once Raph finally got that stupid mask tied around his eyes, he decided to head out of the bathroom and head to the lab. The sooner he gets this done, the sooner he can solve his grumbling stomach problem and give it what it wants. Food. Mikey's preferably.

Strolling down the hallway, Raph gets distracted as he was about to pass the dojo when he heard foot steps coming from the inside. He peeks his head in to find Leo practicing a kata flawlessly. Sweat drips down his forehead as his katanas slice through the air striking is imaginary opponent, he lands down on one knee with his blades directly in front of him breathing hard.

He has really become a good ninja. The best out of all of his brothers, which is probably why Sensei picked him to be leader. All the hours Leo has spent on training really has paid off.

Raph thinks back to the flashback he just had, Leo was in it. He is in most of them actually now that Raph thinks about it. Leo gets up and bows to his imaginary opponent, then reaches down to grab his towel placing it on his shoulder temporarily as he grabs his glass of water from the floor as well. Raph eyes his muscles, they are glistening from sweat dripping down his biceps and plastron. He looks good. Real good. He has grown up to be pretty attractive.

Raphael's eyes widen at the thought.

Oh fuck.

All these memories of him and Leo together, all the tingly feelings he gets when he is with his brother or wants to sleep in his room with him. Holy shit! He must have liked Leo more than just brothers!

Suddenly breathing hard, Raph turns around and leans against the wall out of the dojo. What is wrong with me?! He is my brother you idiot! I can't have these feelings towards him!

As annoying as these flashbacks are, Raph suddenly wants to see more. He has to know how he hid these... feelings! There is no way in shell Leo would actually like him back! Agh dammit!

I can't believe I have a crush on Leo.

* * *

 **A/N: Fluffy chapter! So as you guys know this story is rated M, and its not just for the swearing. Raphael is getting into his teen years, or in this story teen days (; but things will be getting smutty. So get ready.**

 **Notice how in this chapter Leo still refers to Splinter as 'Father', but Raph calls him 'Sensei', or 'Master Splinter'. Poor baby grows up way to fast! These chapters have been a little cheesy but the next few will consist of topside adventures, which may include intense fighting scenes, or drunk times with Casey, and smut. But I really love writing fluff so expect to see that to!**

 **Christina, Raph will be his old self sooner than you know it! Thank you SO much for the kind reviews! You get lots of virtual candies from me! Your reviews are really motivating me to keep this story going (:**

 **As for you quiet readers, don't be afraid to let me know how this story is. I write it mostly late at night when I get the time so let me know if there are errors or anything that will help me improve! I hope you all are having a good 2017 so far!**


	13. Chapter 13 Dear diary

Groaning, Raphael rubs his sleep deprived eyes in frustration. He squints and looks over to his alarm clock next to his hammock. It flashes red throughout the room, the only light shining hurting Raph's tired eyes as he peeks at the time. Great, its 3:37 in the morning!

Another sleepless night.

He has been tossing and turning in the darkness for what feels like ages, and even though he feels like he could knock out stone cold his growing pains are refusing to let his body actually relax and get a good nights rest. The tired eleven year old lets out a big yawn and reaches over to turn on the lamp next to his right on his nightstand, wincing from the bright light in his sleepy eyes.

How does he always know his age? Its not an exact time period when he ages like how normal mutants and humans age yearly, it just happens randomly. And the only way Raph knows how old he currently is, is by all the memories he gets. The memories seem to be going in order. Sometimes they even go by what he is touching, or the weather. Anything triggers them these days. And lately the main thing giving him flashbacks is a certain turtle.

Leonardo.

Raph can't help the growl that escapes his throat just thinking about it. He is in almost every flashback! And every time Raph gets a tingly feeling in his gut.

Why do I gotta be so messed up? I'm not even fifteen years old and society would really hate me if they found me. But on the bright side I would probably make the headlines and be famous. 'Mutant Ninja Turtle Freak in Love with His Older Brother!' Raph chuckles just thinking about it. Man things would be so much easier if he just thought of Leo as a brother. He has tried avoiding Leo, tried arguing with him, shutting everyone out by letting off steam on the punching bag, and even locked himself in his room for a whole day! But its like Leo already knows that Raph has feelings towards him in a non-brotherly way! The guy has been EXTREEMLY nice and happy towards Raph for the past week as if he knew this was going to happen.

Maybe he knows that this is going to happen because it already did happen before?

Raph's left calf muscle throbs as the emerald turtle swings his legs off the side of his swinging bed. Growing pains suck. Overly thinking about Leo all the time sucks. Not being able to sleep at night sucks. Dammit why does being eleven years old overall just suck?!

Something tells the hothead that it only gets worse from here. And with all the weird shit going on right now, he totally believes it to.

His green eyes travel around his bedroom. On the floor there is dusty dumbbells, a can of bug spray, what looks like empty root beer bottles, and his gear from earlier once he climbed in bed. He hasn't looked around his room before. Well since the incident that is. This room has clues to what he will be, what he will grow into.

Since he isn't getting any sleep anytime soon Raph hops out of his hammock and sits on the floor, peeking under the swinging bed to see what is underneath it. His hands find a brown box, it seems to have lots of items in it considering how heavy it is as the turtle slides it out from its hiding spot.

Inside the old ripped cardboard Raph finds some interesting items. The first thing he lays his eyes on is a motorcycle magazine. Oh boy wouldn't it be cool to own one of these babies? He'd love to feel his legs straddling the seat and the breeze of New York on his shell. He is smiling just thinking about it. Ahh a turtle can dream.

Tossing the Harley Davidson magazine aside, Raph finds another magazine. But instead of Motorcycles, he finds something completely different. Why would he want to look at this?! All these chicks are naked! Sticking his tongue out in disgust, he finds himself tossing that aside as well.

What he finds next is something he never thought he'd find in this room. Why would he own one of these? Grabbing onto the hard spine of the red book, Raph picks up what looks like his journal. There is no way in shell I'd actually write in this shit. It must have been a gift from Donnie or something. Sliding his hand over the rough cover, the eleven year old flips it open and is surprised to see his own chicken scratch writing written on the page.

Hmm guess I did write in this shit. I can be such a pansy sometimes! God I hate that about myself. Raph shakes his head in annoyance and decides to read his first entry.

 **Oh God I cannot believe I'm actually writin' in this thing. I can be such a pansy sometimes! Dammit I hate that about myself. Anyways, Raph here. Master Splinter gave each of us one of these 'diary's' to help us with these soon to be 'strong urges' we will be having. And then he had Donnie teach us about our bodies and God that was the most awkwardest thing in my eleven years of life! I was sittin' right next ta Leo to! Then he busted out of the room like a madman! What was that even about? Really out of character for him if ya ask me.**

 **Leo has been acting weirder than usual, especially after Don's little lesson today. He locked himself up in his room and has been in there ever since! I tried talkin' to him but he wont let me in. God he can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. A beautiful pain in the ass. Agh dammit I'm done writing in here.**

 **Well I guess that's all for today. Wouldn't be surprised if I never write in here again.**

 **\- RAPH**

So I really did have a thing for Fearless huh?

Raph grabs his pillow off of his hammock and leans it against the wall soon followed by his shell. He crosses his legs to get comfortable and places the book back on his lap. He runs his thumb over the black ink written on the page feeling each letter. This book holds the keys to all his questions, and all he has to do is read it.

His hands start to shake and he gets a similar feeling in his gut before he drops the book onto the floor.

 _"Kneel, my sons." Sensei commands and stands before us as we all kneel on the mats in front of us, each of us still panting from practice. Master Splinter did not go easy on us at all today. We didn't do anything wrong yesterday, I at least don't think we did.._

 _"Leonardo, focus more on your spiritual connection during meditation. I could sense something was bothering you today, I am always here to talk to my son." Splinter says while casually stroking his beard. To Raph's right, Leo ducks his head low in embarrassment. "Hai Sensei."_

 _Well that was weird. Normally Leo takes his feedback more confidently, always ready to improve. Looks like Splinter hit a nerve this time. Something must really be going on with Leo if he is blushing this much._

 _"Donatello, after the events we have planned for today, I want you to practice more with your bo. We will be taking your skills to the next level." Raph glances over to Donnie on the other side of Mikey. He has a small smile on his lips and a gleam in his eye as he bows his head. "Hai, Sensei."_

 _It's always a treat when Master Splinter does extra training only on one of us, especially with our weapons. It means we are improving, that we have mastered a certain level of our abilities and we are ready to learn more. But what was Splinter talking about? What events does he have planned for today?_

 _"Michelangelo, you have more skills than you know my son. Practice was hardest for you today, but do not be afraid to push yourself. In doing so, you will see how far your limits go. Rest this evening and strengthen your muscles, tomorrows training will be as hard as todays." Raph thought he heard a small groan coming from his little brother, but no one else seemed to notice so he decided to just ignore it. "Hai Sensei." Mikey respectfully bows._

 _"And Raphael, never let your guard down even when it looks like the battle is over." Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. That was pretty embarrassing. "Overconfidence is the most dangerous form of carelessness." Raph ducks his head low, looking at Splinter's toes poking out from underneath his robe. "Hai Sensei." The hothead grumbles._

 _Just because he kicked Mikey in the plastron knocking the sea green turtle down, making it look like he won and gloating a little too soon, doesn't mean he was overconfident! Technically he won, until Mikey decided to get up after Raph turned his shell to him and pin him from behind._

 _"Practice only gets harder from here my sons. If it doesn't challenge you, it wont change you. Success doesn't happen overnight, you must work hard to become the ninja you all will become. You are all growing up and flowering into manhood. Soon you will feel really powerful urges, but you cannot let it overcome you." Splinter pulls out four books from his robe, and hands the blue one to Leo, purple one to Donnie, orange to Mike, and red to me. How the shit did he fit all of these in his pocket?_

 _My hand rubs the hard red cover before flipping it open to find blank pages. "A journal?"_

 _"No, a diary! I've always wanted a diary!" Mikey cheers hugging his orange book close to his plastron._

 _"Call it what you want, it is to help you as you go through this journey. Record your thoughts and experiences while you still remember them for soon they will just become nothing but memories. Now, I have asked Donatello to teach you a very important lesson. I expect you all to give him the same respect you would give me if I were the teacher. If I hear you did not give your bother the respect he deserves, there will be a punishment." Sensei says sternly and turns his attention over to Donnie. "Go ahead, my son." And with that Splinter exits the dojo and enters his room, closing the door behind him._

 _"What the shell is goin' on Donnie?" Raph growls and stands up on his sore legs._

 _"Come on, lets go in my room." The purple banded turtle leads the way to his messy room as we all follow unwillingly._

 _"So dad is letting you teach us something this time, huh D?" Mikey's voice chirps from behind me as we make our way into Donnie's room._

 _"Well, he said it would be more comfortable for you guys to learn this from me than him, so yeah I guess." Donnie shrugs, cheeks a little pink._

 _"Something tells me I'm not going to like this lesson." Leo mumbles._

 _Donnie makes his way to his desk and pulls out a clipboard filled with a huge stack of papers. "Your going to want to sit down for this, it might take a while. And the quieter you all are for this, the faster it will go, so remember that."_

 _Mikey sits down on Donnie's bed next to where his pillow is, and Leo sits next to Mikey with Raph on the foot of the bed. Leo and Raph both look very uneasy about this, and Mikey is still to into his new diary to care what is going on._

 _Donnie takes the silence as cue for his time to shine. Taking a deep breath, he decides to begin. "Do any of you know what puberty is?"_

 _Leo's eyes widen as he shifts uncomfortably on the bed, Raph sighs and leans his shell on the wall behind him and Mikey stares in confusion. "Puber what now?"_

 _"Puberty is the period during which adolescents reach sexual maturity and become capable of reproduction."_ _Donnie starts and slides his computer chair out and sits down on it making himself comfortable, well as comfortable as you can get in this situation._

 _Mikey blinks, still confused as he puts his diary down on the bed next to his knee. "Umm, can you say that again for me but this time in English?"_

 _Leo groans and leans against the wall next to Raph, his cheeks pink. Sighing, Donnie was about to talk but Raph beat him to it. "Your hormones are gonna go crazy and your body is gonna grow."_

 _"Yes, hormones that were hibernating suddenly awaken and signal your body to enter puberty." Donnie nods in agreement with Raphael._

 _"Ohhh so it's nothing new than right? Puberty is just like how we have all gotten taller and stuff! I get it now! But why do we need to learn about this?" Mikey's innocent blue eyes question as he looks over at Donnie for an explanation. Leo rubs his head with his hand in frustration._

 _Donnie takes a deep breath in before explaining this, man this might be harder than he thought. "Well no Mikey, this is different. Soon your body is going to change. Your voice will get deeper-"_

 _Mikey interrupts. "Whaaaaaat?! Why?! I like my voice now what's wrong with it?!"_

 _"- and your penis is going to grow,-"_

 _"My WHAT is going to do WHAT now?!" Mikey's high voice gasps and covers his already hidden pouch with both his hands._

 _Tired of being interrupted, Donnie takes another deep breath before continuing on. "Your body will be maturing Mikey. This will make you have sexual desires with your hormones all over the place. Most humans experience mood swings, and they tend to feel more aggressive. But since we are turtles, we have an even bigger problem." Raph can't help but chuckle at that, making Leo elbow him in the arm._

 _"What could be worse than that?!" Mikey asks and grabs his orange book off the bed to hug it to his plastron._

 _"Mating season."_

 _"Oh God, please don't tell me your going to discuss this to?" Leo groans feeling extremely uncomfortable._

 _"Sorry Leo, but Sensei says I have to cover everything. Trust me this isn't fun for me either." Donnie sighs and flips through the stack of papers on his clipboard. "Since Mikey is freaking out, I'll just dim down the graphic details. But basically most animals mate as much as they can all throughout the time period of mating season. I'm not exactly sure if it will be effecting us since we are all males and there aren't any females around plus we are mutated, but just to be safe when spring comes around this year, please stay in your rooms unless you feel you can control yourselves."_

 _"So we are going to turn into complete savage animals?!" Mikey cant help the tears rolling down his cheeks. This is all to much for him to take in._

 _"Well more like sex animals. A savage is a uncontrolled and violent animal. Non of us are really violent, well except Raph but he wont hurt anybody." Donnie mumbles and Raph snorts._

 _"Wait, I thought we were talking about mating not sex!" Mikey sniffs and looks at Donnie confused._

 _"Oh my- Donnie, you wanna explain to him first then tell us the rest of the lesson later? Or are we done here? Cuz I'm losin' my damn mind right now." Raph growls in annoyance and stands up off the bed._

 _"Dad doesn't like it when you use swear words Raph!" The orange clad turtle crosses his arms over his plastron. "And its not my fault! Not everybody has dirty minds like you do! Leo is like me, this is all new to him to! Right Leo?" Mikey turns to Leo ready for him to back him up, but when the blue masked turtle stays silent and his cheeks turn a darker shade of pink, Mikey cant help but gasp. "Not you to!"_

 _Leo suddenly stands up off the bed in anger. "I cant do this anymore! I don't care if Sensei punishes me, sorry Donnie but I'm done!" Leo storms out of the bedroom and they all flinch when they hear his door slam shut._

 _Leo isn't one to get angry like that. Something really must be wrong like Master Splinter said earlier. Raph cant help this feeling of betrayal in his stomach. Leo tells him everything! Why hasn't he come up and told him what the problem is?_

 _Suddenly the anger Raph felt earlier is back. "I'm done to." He growls and exits the room as well, red journal in hand._

Hissing, Raph grabs his throbbing temple with his hands and tries to massage it. "Dammit!" He mumbles to himself. This has been happening recently, some flashbacks are so strong that they have been having side effects. He probably should tell Donnie about this.

As much as he wants to continue reading his journal, he doesn't want to chance the side effects to get worse in case he has anymore flashbacks as he is reading it, so he sets the book aside and climbs back in his hammock hoping he'll at least get an hour or two of sleep tonight.

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 **A/N: Journal entries will always be in BOLD (:**

 **Tokka vs The World inspired me so much to update this story! Ahh I'm so happy the show is back on! I am writing this story in the 2012 version, but you are all welcome to imagine any version you want.**

 **Poor Mikey in this chapter! He is too innocent for this world!**


	14. Chapter 14 Reality

Four days have past since Raph found his journal, four days and he is already a fourteen year old. This has been his quickest growth spurt yet, and Raph overheard Don saying it must be because he is entering his puberty stage. Donnie couldn't be more correct.

Raph's voice has gone from high pitched, to an awkward lower tone and constant cracking when he talks, to now an almost normal deep rough tone as it used to be. He has grown what feels like almost two feet taller, and is starting to catch up to Mikey. His feet are huge compared to what they were four days ago to. And the emerald turtle cannot help his pubescent mood swings. He is constantly on edge and the smallest things make him snap.

Like yesterday for instance, he couldn't find the television remote and sort of threw the couch flipping it upside down trying to find it, literally. In the end the stupid remote was actually on top of the t.v. but by the time he found it he had to go on a run through the sewer tunnels to calm down.

The turtle has been spending more time in the dojo, blowing off some steam on his punching bag and lifting weights really help so he doesn't rip off Mikey's head with his teeth. His little brother has finally realized he should lay off a little bit now that Raph is catching up to him in height, and his muscles are growing at a rapid rate.

Raph has spent most of his time in the shower this past week as well. He cant help it, these powerful urges Sensei was telling him about when he was eleven are constantly happening so much and its starting to get damn annoying! At first he had zero control over _it_ down there, _it_ was up, _it_ was down, _it_ was up for no reason! God, he never thought he'd want pleasure so badly in his life.

Although now he has better control of himself, he has had to distance himself from Leo. _It is always Leo_! He has been the main reason Raph spends most his time in the shower. It doesn't help that in the flashbacks Raph has been getting lately, he finds himself constantly sneaking into his brothers room at night. Him and Leo had been secretly sharing a bed for a while now in these memories, and Raph wishes he could go back to sleeping in Leo's room again. He needs to feel the familiar warmth of Leo's plastron against his shell and there legs pressing together from being cramped up on Leo's twin sized bed.

Raph is just surprised that after all that time he had spent with Leo so far, he had been able to control his dick being that close to his older brother. Because at the moment Raphael is in the shower, jerking off for the third time today all because Leo walked past him and got a good wif of Leo's scent. That said scent still fills his nostrils as he strokes himself imagining that it was Leo's hand pumping his hard member, as warm water flows down his shoulders and down to his feet.

"Mmm...fuuuuuckin' s-shittt...L-Leo.." He moans quietly as his speed on his pumps grow faster.

With a deep churr, warm white seed splatters along the tiles of the shower wall. Raph leans his forehead against the wall, hands on the tile near his face breathing hard, trying to catch his breath from the pleasure he just gave himself. What he would give for Leo to be the one in here with him.

Little does Raph know that somebody overheard his little self reliving outside of the door.

"Dammit Raphael!" Leo curses to himself, feeling aroused at the sound of his younger mate churring and moaning his name through the door. The eldest quickly and quietly makes his way into his room, hoping nobody saw him, and locks the door behind him as he sits on the edge of his bed and lets his cock fall into his hand with a moan. It has been getting really hard trying to let Raph avoid him. Especially when Leo knows _why_ he is avoiding him.

Donnie says its best to let Raph learn everything on his own, to gain his memories back so he can face the hard things he has gone through without exploding at anybody. Because the guy has been a ticking time bomb ready to obliterate anything in his path.

The leader in blue remembers exactly how he felt five years ago when he desperately wanted Raph to be the one pleasuring him. In fact, he barley saw any of his brothers accept for meals and during practice. The urge to feel that satisfaction was to strong. That's when Leo first realized he needed to stop masturbating, and focus more on meditation.

Personal relief was a distraction.

And meditating worked, for a while that is. Because soon after that he spilled the beans to Raph, that one night when Raph was in his room. The day everything changed. He remembers how stupid he felt for letting his secret slip out like that. Showing his biggest weakness. And then when Raph didn't say anything back to him after, Leo feared the worse. That Raph was disgusted with him and hated him. But God he sure was wrong! Leo can practically feel the kiss still fresh on his lips from that night.

With how fast Raph is growing, he'll have that memory any day now. No, scratch that, he could be having that memory as we speak!

Leo pumps his dick faster, but its not enough. Its not Raph. He keeps his right hand working on his hard member as his other hand reaches for his nightstand and opens the drawer, he pulls out his red dildo and his tube of lube. A present the hothead gave to him himself one night when he got home from busting heads with Casey, said something about him being uptight while he is away from him for to long or something. Quickly applying the right amount of the clear liquid onto the toy, Leo lays back on his shell and places it behind himself, raising his tail before shoving it inside his hole all the way.

"Urgh!" Leo moans as he keeps pumping his thick cock in his right hand, and matches his thrusting the dildo into him with his speed he is using on his dick. Closing his eyes shut he pictures its his old Raph thrusting into him. He can practically hear Raph churring above him. Slamming his hard cock in and out of his hole, pressing him into the mattress.

The thought of this sets Leo on edge as his cum explodes all over his plastron and bed sheets. "Jeezus Raaaaphael!" He moans and leans his head onto his bed landing on his pillow and pulls the dildo out, tucking himself back into his protective hidden pouch.

If Raph isn't back to his nineteen year old self soon, Leo's gonna lose it. The hothead is looking more and more like his old self everyday. He is the age they became more than just brothers. And having to resist him like this is the hardest thing Leo has had to do in his life.

 **((( L1NE BREAK )))**

After Raph's shower, he headed into the kitchen where Mikey just finished dinner. Lately, Raph feels like he can eat a whole cow! He's surprised he isn't fat with how much food he's been swallowing down.

"What's fer dinner Mike?" He questions licking his lips as he makes his way into the small kitchen to see for himself.

"April and Casey are on there way, so I made my famous homemade enchiladas with a side of my homemade salsa to of course! Casey is bringing over the chips." Mikey salsa dances over to the oven and pulls the delicious Mexican smelling, taste tingling, mouth watering tortilla wrapped in heaven stuffed with wonders of glorious after taste desires out of the oven and sprinkles some cilantro on top of each enchilada. "OLAY!" Mikey cheers as he kisses the tips of his fingers before sprinkling on a dash of cilantro.

Raph cant help the drool coming out of his mouth at the sight and smell of his dinner. "If Casey and April don't hurry their slow asses up I'm gonna -"

"Yo! Casey Jones is in the house, let the party begin!" Casey's loud and obnoxious voice echoes through out the lair walls followed by April groaning in annoyance. The hockey player can't go an hour with out shouting his arrival.

"Speak of the devil." Donnie groans as he stumbles into the kitchen looking very sleep deprived, probably working on another project again. The guy really needs to take a break from science at least for a few days. He's gonna kill himself one of these days just because of sleep deprivation.

The two humans make their way into the kitchen and set the bags of chips they are holding down onto the table in front of Raph where he is sitting. "Ya tellin' me I can eat this whole bag by placin' it in front of my face, or what?"

"Woah dude! Ya sound more like yourself now! Bout' time to, if I had to keep listenin' to your high pitched voice squeakin' in my ears anymore I was gonna lose my shit. Doesn't sound right comin' from your body, even tho ya are still a kid." Casey chuckles, leaning agaist the kitchen counter crossing his arms over his chest.

"Pfft we all know I can still kick yer sorry ass!" Raph grumbles opening the taunting bag of tortilla chips in front of him, and sticks the plain salty chips in his mouth, his stomach rumbles at the taste, finally satisfied. "With how old ya are, you'd probably tire out super quick to." He smirks at his human friend.

"Oh ha ha very funny ya little punk! I would take ya on right now, but I wouldn't want to hurt yer small little child body. I'm to much of a man to hurt an innocent child." Casey returns the smirk and sits next to Raph at the table, eyeing him, daring him to make the first move.

"Ya don't wanna take me on cuz you are a lazy ass, and who ever said I'm innocent?" The red banded turtle gives Casey a smug look before eating more chips, to hungry to give into a sparing match at the moment.

"Okay, stop flirting when we are about to eat! That's disgusting." Mikey shivers and places a plate full of food to everybody at the table before sitting next to April at the kitchen table with the others.

"Where's Leo?" April questions ignoring the nonsense going on around her.

Before anyone can answer, Leo walks into the kitchen with a towel slung across his shoulder. "Right here." He takes his seat at the end of the table near Raph and Splinter comes in shortly after.

Raphael swallows what feels like nails down his dry throat as Leo sits next to him. He had clearly just gotten out of the shower seeing the water droplets on his shoulder still. His whole body tenses up when Leo's knee touches his once the katana wielder gets his chair scooted in all the way. When Casey and April come down for dinner, the table gets a little crammed.

But he pushes those thoughts away as he digs into his amazing dinner, and of course goes back for seconds once his plate is all clean.

After dinner, Casey and Raph headed into the sewer tunnels as the others put on 13 Going on 30, both feeling to manly to watch a chick flick which happened to be Mikey's pick tonight, not April. Raph and the gap toothed hockey player would both love to be topside, they are practically itching to be up there, but Master Splinter and Leo both strongly refused their request to go up top.

"Man this fuckin' sucks." Raph sighs and kicks a crushed up soda can as his feet slush through the sewer waters. How old were they when they first went topside? It had to be soon because if past me was stuck underground longer than this, I'd probably go completely savage.

Casey strolls along beside his young best friend, still not used to how rapid he has been growing. Him and April haven't been visiting as much as they could, with April's news channel job and Casey working in the shop, the two humans have been slumped. They have only been able to stop by once a week to drop off groceries or any other necessities, and every time Raphael is like a whole different turtle.

"Bro, you've been growing non-stop fer like three weeks now and yer already complainin' 'bout not bein' able ta go topside!" Casey chuckles at the stubborn turtle and shoves his big arm to the side making him almost topple over. How he spent fifteen years of his life stuck down here, growing up with Mikey? Casey wouldn't know. "Don't worry little man, we'll be bustin' heads before ya know it!"

Raph rolls his eyes at his dumb friend who he doesn't seem to recall being friends with in his past. Actually, Raph hasn't had any flashbacks about his human friends and doesn't know how they all are practically family. He has tried to remember, but its like there is some wall blocking him from the things he hasn't learned yet. He just wants to know why him and this gap toothed nutcase walking next to him are so close.

Casey seems like a cool guy, but God he has his annoying moments.

The two stop their journey through the tunnels once the reach a big empty subway station, nothing but trash and small puddles from what used to be here remains. Casey sits on the steps that lead down to where the subway cars would be and Raph joins him. "Normally when we hang out, we have a nice beer ta go with it," Casey digs his hand into his jacket pocket and Raph could have sworn he was going to pull out beer bottles, but was surprised when it was a magazine instead.

How did he even fit that in there?

"Don said if I brought beer, he'd skin me alive fer lettin' ya drink before ya even got to experience goin' topside." He begins and tosses the magazine into Raph's lap, who just eyes the magazine with his eyes wide. "So I thought some skin mags would help ya with yer new little 'problem' instead."

He seriously just dropped a Thunder Down Under magazine into my lap... a magazine filled with human guys! Naked human guys! What the fuck was Casey talkin' about with my new little problem?! Does he know I'm into Leo? Or does he just think I am gay?

Swallowing, Raphael takes a deep breath trying not to explode. "What the actual fuck is this Casey?" He gestures to his lap, not even glancing at the porn magazine.

"Well I figured since ya and Leo can't really be together considering the situation, that this would help ease some of yer frustrations. I saw the way ya tensed up when he came into the kitchen fer dinner. Just thought I'd help a man out, even if ya are a little man." The human shrugs casually and crosses his legs in front of him.

Raph's whole body tenses up. "Son of a bitch Casey Jones!" He stands up quickly, face heating up in embarrassment as he throws the magazine at Casey's face who flinches at the sudden outburst. "I'm not inta guys like that! Well, not human guys..." He looks down his feet as he mumbles the last part, suddenly realizing what he just said, finding his toes to be far more interesting than the confused expression on Casey's face.

Sighing Casey stands up to face Raph, whose gaze is still into the floor but lets that slide. "Damn, sorry Raph. I didn't want ya sufferin' bro." He says apologetically. He's never been around Raph when he's acted this awkwardly before.

Clenching his fists, Raph quietly whispers out. "How did you know?" His green eyes still locked on his toes.

"Come on, I know everything about ya! I don't just call ya my best friend fer the hell of it! Plus you two are pretty obvious, ya were back then to." Now Casey has Raph's full and undivided attention.

Blinking his green eyes, he can swear his heart just skipped a beat. "W-What? So you a-are actually sayin'..." A genuine smile spreads across Raph's lips. If this bozo is correct and not messing around, which from what it sounds like to Raph the hockey player is being one hundred percent honest, then him and Leo.. they actually... "Holy shit! Leo likes me back?!" He blurts out, not able to contain himself anymore and grabs ahold of Casey's shoulders tight. "I swear to God if yer messin' around with me I will shove my Sais so far up yer ass you'll have to get them surgically removed." His deep voice growls dangerously.

Holding his hands up in surrender Casey can't help the chuckle that escapes his throat. "I thought ya knew already, but I guess not." Donnie was saying something to Casey earlier about not ruining what happened in Raph's past, but that kinda slipped.. oops.. The kid could use a break from all this stress anyway!

"Oh God!" The emerald turtle sighs in major relief and pulls Casey into a hug, way to excited to contain himself. Leo actually likes him back! So he isn't just some sick, nasty pervert! The biggest weight feels like its just been lifted off of his shoulders. Now he can actually look forward to these upcoming flashbacks. A smirk creeps onto his lips just thinking about it.

Casey awkwardly pats Raph's shell and lets his friend have his moment, not releasing the turtle until he lets go first. When he finally releases him Casey can't help the smug look on his face when he sees how smiley Raph is now. "Ya must really love him. M' happy fer ya guys." He pats Raph's shoulder when the turtles cheeks turn a bit pink.

"Ugh, yeah. Thanks Case, fer ya know, everythin'. Even tho I still don't remember ya, you don't seem to stupid so ya must not be half bad." Raph returns the shoulder patting, but presses much harder, probably going to leave a bruise, his voice started out soft and awkward but turned into a cocky chuckle at the end.

Rubbing his shoulder, Casey bends down and picks up the magazine handing it over to the red masked turtle who takes it without a word. The two finally understanding each other.

Raph may not be into human guys that much, but at least he can picture them being Leo. The two start to make their way back to the lair and Raph can't help but feel nervous. Leonardo _knows._ He actually knows. And he hasn't said anything... Wait, why wouldn't he have said anything?! Raph's feet come to a complete stop making Casey halt as well. The magazine slips right out of his green fingers and lands on the floor next to him.

Casey moves his eyes from the magazine up to Raph to find him staring over his shoulder with a natural look on his face. "Yo Raph, ya okay man?" He asks waving his hand in front of his face. He must be having another flashback. Donnie also warned him about this to. The genius said the memories have been more constant lately and he just fazes completely out starring into space. These so called flashbacks can last for two hours tops!

Casey sighs and puts his hands on Raph's shoulders, pushing as gently as he can to get the turtle to sit. He decided he'd rather wait the flashback out instead of trying to carry the fatty back to the lair.

Raph sat completely still the whole time, but he would occasionally mumble some words and his hands twitched. Casey eventually got used to it though, Donnie said that's a normal side effect.

"I don't want to forget..." Raph mumbles, barley moving his lips before he tips over falling flat on his shell making Casey jump to his side, flinching when he hears his head meet the concrete floor.

When he kneels over Raph's body, he can't help but panic when Raph is still glancing at the celling with a blank expression on his face. With that hard of a hit, he must have gotten a concussion. The human was about to lift up Raphael's head, but when his body started jerking and twitching, his green eyes rolling behind his head, he quickly pulled out his cell phone. "Oh shit! Shit shit shit shit shit!" Casey curses and presses Donnie's number, he's the only turtle who ALWAYS has his T-phone on him.

When Donnie's voice rings through his ears, he barley gives the guy enough time to finish his sarcastic remark on how their painting each others nails is going and how he wishes he could be there.

"Raph had another flashback and he is having a really bad reaction from it! I need help carrying him back to the lair, we aren't to far just track our signal and hurry ya ass Donnie!"

* * *

 **A/N:** Check chapter seven to see the flashback Raph was having. These chapters keep turning in different ways than I planned, they basically write themselves. Sorry to leave it on a cliff hanger, I'm to worn out to write more onto this one. I hope there isn't to many errors in this, I am to worn out to check over it. Its been a long day. I'm going to take my drivers test soon and its been stressing me out, so fingers crossed that I pass!

Christinia: That's a really good story idea! It sounds super sad to. I will have to look into writing it when i'm finished with this story! (:


	15. Chapter 15 Faking a cold

_"Are you sure about this?... I-I really don't want to hurt you, and we can wait longer, I'm totally fine waiting if you want to wait, it wont hurt my feelings or anything -"_

 _"Leo," Raph giggles softly as he cuts Leo off. Funny how even though Leo is the one topping, yet HE is the one nervously rambling on. Leo is straddling Raph's hips sitting on top of Raph's lap, he has one hand cupped on Raph's flushed pink cheek and his face is a little sweaty from their little randevu from a few minuets ago. Tongues twisting, mask tails yanked till they've been hurriedly torn off like the rest of their gear to a sloppy pile on the floor of the corner of the bed, and hips grinding together eager for more friction._

 _Raph faked having a bad cold, Leo told Splinter he'd stay behind from going to April's house for their monthly dinner with April's father so he could tend to Raph. He could miss this month. Raphael doesn't get sick easily, and Leo just knew it was a scam and something was up. As soon as the family went topside Leo wandered off in search for the hot tempered turtle. He wasn't in his room, or the dojo, or the kitchen, nor the garage, so Leo decided to check his bedroom as his mind started to think the ninja decided to go awol._

 _To his surprise the door slammed shut behind him the second he made his way inside, and before he could question anything hungry lips were pressed to his in a very heated kiss. He didn't even have to wonder if it was some intruder, he knows these lips anywhere. These were the lips he's dreamed about for years. Lips that he's grown a desire for._

 _And in these past few months these are the lips Leo has grown attached to._

 _That was fifteen minuets ago, and now here they are with Leo sitting on Raph's lap covered in his scent all hot and bothered wanting nothing more than to take Raphael right now. He is starting to wonder if Raph planed this whole thing out. Because its pretty obvious he isn't sick at all._

 _Damn Leo is one fine looking turtle. In this dim candle lit lighting, Raph can hardly see how much Leo is blushing, but the faint pink on his cheeks mixed with sweat and the sexy but yet careful expression on his face. Raph can feel his heart pounding in his plastron, he hopes Leo cant hear it to. But damn this plan worked out perfectly._

 _Raph cant help but think how lucky he is to have Leo as his own. To have Leo be his first._

 _"I can handle everythin' your willin' ta offer, Fearless." Raph brings his hand to the back of Leo's neck and pulls him down for a long heated kiss. If its one thing Raph has mastered in these six months him and Leo have been secretly together, is kissing. The way his lips fit with his older brothers, the way their tongues dance, everything just fits so perfect. Like this was always meant to happen. When Raph pulls away, he nibbles on Leo's bottom lip and opens his eyes to stare into Leo's blue orbs. "I want ya. I'm ready." He smiles and rolls his hips up, grinding against Leo. "Lead the way, Fearless."_

 _All it took was a subtle reminder. The small rub of their bulges together, and Leo's eyes lit with lust again. In this candle lighting Raph saw it in those blue orbs, the way they glistened through the shaded flame lighting. It was like a switch had been flipped on and both turtles were doing anything to be impossibly closer, lips crashed together, plastrons tightly scratching with no space in between, hands searching each others bodies in a way they haven't before, and loud churrs echo off Leo's Captain Ryan poster filled bedroom walls._

 _They were finally alone, and they could be as loud as they want. Everything was going according to Raph's devious plan._

 _They had met and saved April O'neil and her father four months ago. Going topside was something Raphael always dreamed of doing, being free. Although he wasn't to happy about Leo being the Leader, he isn't one to follow rules that easy, he decided he better go along with it anyway and at least try to listen for Leo's sake. It's not that Raph wanted to be the leader, well maybe a small part of him did once._

 _He just knew that Splinter would pick Leonardo._

 _He'd be stupid not to pick Leo. He's so strong, he may not be as smart as Don but he still knows what he's doing, he is such a damn dork about training hard to be better, he'll always put others before himself, he can control his emotions (in a creepy way sometimes), he is one hell of a ninja, and Raph loves him. He really loves him so much. And that's why Raph didn't want Leo to become the leader._

 _B_ _ecause he'd lose him._

 _It changes you completely. You have to make the hard decisions in fights, you have to sacrifice yourself over the other brothers. Leo has even distanced himself from the three of us at home to. He's only fifteen and he has put aside his childhood, he has already grown up._ _Its so hard watching the one you love separate himself from his own family._

 _And he does it only because he loves us._

 _So that's why Raph has decided to always be there for Leo. To show him he is loved, that he isn't alone. That's why Raph made this little plan, to pretend to be sick knowing Leonardo would stay back to confront Raph on why he faked this whole thing. He is going to help Leo relax._

 _He slides his right hand down to Leo's dick and starts to softly rub his fingers around the shaft teasingly while his left hand reaches for Leo's hand on his thigh. With Leo's face currently on Raph's neck he cannot see the turtles reaction, but he can feel the deep churr vibrate onto his skin sending shivers down his shell. "A watashi no kusona kami!" Leo gasps before sinking his teeth into Raph's neck, thrusting his hips into Raph's hand._

 _Chuckling, Raph grips Leo's thick cock and his own leaking hard member into his right hand and brings his left hand intertwined with Leo's up to his lips. "Oh shit -" He moans loudly. The feeling of his cock pressed to Leo's is just to damn good. Why haven't they done this before?_

 _He slides one of Leo's leaf green fingers into his mouth and twirls his tongue around it, trying not to smirk when Leo's lips leaves his probably bruised neck to stare Raph with wide eyes. Raph slides Leo's second finger into his mouth and sucks on it as if it were a popsicle, licking the flavor of Leo's skin and letting out a churr never losing eye contact with the katana wielder._

 _"You are such a pain in the ass." Leo groans trying to sound annoyed but when Raph grabs Leo's wagging tail he completely lost it._

 _Raph twists his two fingers around the small appendage in circles then wraps his whole hand around it. He strokes the soft tail with a smug look on his face before sliding Leo's now covered in spit fingers out of his mouth. "Watashi wa sudeni fakku watashi." He boldly demands cheeks flushing a tint of pink, voice is lower than he expected it would be but decides to roll with it._

 _An almost evil grin spreads wide on Leo's lips, he slides a finger into Raph's hole making the impatient hothead gasp. "You've always been so impatient," His voice is low and musky, and holy shit that's the hottest thing Raph's ever heard escape his brothers mouth. After a few seconds Leo slides a second finger in, all the way to the third knuckle twirling it around inside._

 _Raph clings onto the bed sheets, clenching the soft blue sheets in his fist trying to get used to this new feeling of pressure in his hole. Leo isn't anywhere near small. For how short he is, he has one big dick, and Raph is going to feel this for days._

 _Leo slides his fingers out and places the tip of his cock at the ring of Raph's hole. Raph closes his eyes shut tight prepared for Leo to press inside of him, but after a few moments he opens his green eyes and locks them on Leo's concerned gaze. Every trace of that sex drunk turtle a few moments ago was gone and now Leo is here, with Raph's legs around his waist and his hand on Raph's cheek._

 _How does he change emotions like that so quickly?_

 _"Just tell me to stop and I will." Leo says softly with a small smile on his face. Its obvious he doesn't want to stop, every sign is telling Raph that Leo wants to keep going. The way his hand slightly shakes on his cheek, the hard tip of his cock at his hole ready to come inside, but yet he is willing to stop because he can tell Raph is scared._

 _Fuck, Raphael Hamatto is scared of having sex and Leo knows it._

 _Goddammit Leo knows!_

 _Its not that he doesn't want to, oh God he really really wants to. He's dreamt about having sex with Leo ever since he learned what sex even was! And now that he has the chance to in an empty lair he is starting to get cold feet._

 _Raph has NEVER been one to back out from a challenge though. And Leonardo is one damn challenging turtle who has a lot to offer._

 _Wrapping his arms around Leo's neck Raph pulls him down and presses their lips together fighting the stupid tears in his eyes that are daring to fall. When they pull away he wraps his fingers around Leo's. "I love you and I want you. I promise you Leo, I'm ready." His voice slightly cracks at the end but he doesn't care._

 _There it is, the smile Raph tries to spend all day to see, it is right there on Leo's lips. The most beautiful smile Raph has ever seen, and he'd do anything to keep it there on Leonardo's face. Leo leans down and presses a kiss to Raph's temple. "I love you to Raphael." He whispers softly and leans his forehead against Raph's. "I will never hurt you, I promise I wont."_

 _Raph's heart is still thumping against his chest, tears are stinging his eyes. He wants this. Goddammit he wants this and he wants this now!_

 _He looks up at Leo's eyes, inches from his own, not even caring if Leo can see the tears in his eyes. He swallows what feels like nails down his dry throat and cups Leo's cheeks with his sweaty hands. "I know Fearless, make me yours already. I want you to own me."_

 _Leo never leaves Raph's fierce green eyes as he slides into his mate for the first time. Raph squints his eyes shut and the tears finally leave his eyes as his legs wrap tightly around Leo's waist, damn he is so big. Although his eyes are closed, he can practically see Leo's face as he wipes the tears off of his cheeks with his thumb. "You are so beautiful." Leo whispers and kisses Raph's forehead again._

 _"Keep m-moving..." The hothead groans not quite used to the pressure in between his legs, but he doesn't want to just stay here like this. Leo slides all the way out and back in a little quicker than before. Raph can tell he is holding back a lot. He was being honest when he said he wasn't going to hurt Raph, Leo would never lie._

 _That's another reason why he was meant to be the leader._

 _Damn him for being so perfect._

 _Each thrust brought a new feeling, and the faster Leo went the more Raph was starting to go off the edge. Finally the sting was gone and all he felt was bliss. Then Leo hit that one spot. "FUCKIN SHITTT!" Raph throws his head back in pleasure and wraps onto Leo's shoulders. Feeling Raph's muscles actually relax into him, Leo takes that and the scream, as a sign to make him scream again. That's his new goal is to see how loud he can get Raph to yell._

 _"Oh, MoTHerfuuuucking! -" Raph yells, tears still falling down his cheeks, Leo speeds up his hips hitting the target again, and again. Leo is probably going to have bruises on his shoulders after this from how tight Raph is holding onto him._

 _"nnngh totemo taitona Raph!"_

 _Raph starts to move his hips in sync to Leo's making more friction, he's close, so close. "LEEOOOOO MHHMM..." He whimpers as his cums all over his and Leo's plastron and bed sheets. He can feel Leo come to his release to inside of him, filling him up with the warm liquid. "RAPPHH OH FUCK!"_

 _Both turtles panting hard and covered in sweat, Leo pulls out of Raph and lays beside him on the bed and pulls the sai weilder into his messy plastron wrapping his arms around his shell. Raph happily scoots closer to his favorite turtle and wraps his arms around his middle, tucking his head in the crook of Leo's neck. The smell of sex lingers on the bed and in the room, the smell of their scents mixed together._

 _"You planed being 'sick', didn't you?" Leo questioned even though he said it more as a statement._

 _"Hmm, hell yeah." Raph hums back, mumbling in response ready for a long nap. His voice is all deep and scratchy from screaming earlier, and it kinda hurts his throat when he talks. That will for sure help him later when the family comes homes expecting him to be sick._

 _A small smile forms on Leo's lips as he rubs soothing circles on Raph's scarred up shell, feeling each indent, memorizing each one. His eyes slowly shut as his breathing evens out, he feels Raph's do the same. Minuets pass and before Leo can fall asleep Raph quietly whispers words that never fail to make Leo's heart flutter, making him smile again. "I love you, Leonardo."_

 _"I love you to Raphie."_

* * *

 **A/N:** Super cheesy chapter, but what's new? Sorry for the late update, I was so nervous for my drivers test that I couldn't think straight. But I passed so its okay! I'm just glad to have my license now. I'll have a job soon, so I'll try to finish this story before then.

But yeah they lost their virginity, and this is why this story is rated M. Sorry not sorry. And who would've thought Raph was gonna be scared? I think Leo handled that well though. Sorry to keep you guys hanging still on what is happening with Raph in reality, but you'll have to wait a bit to find out.

Thanks Christina and J.J. Norris for the reviews! You guys are awesome 3 :)

 **Translations:** A watashi no kusona kami - Oh my fucking God

Watashi wa sudeni fakku watashi - fuck me already

totemo taitona - so tight


	16. Chapter 16 Secrets

**_Journal Entry: Wednesday July 5th 2013 5:34 PM_**

 ** _Yo, Raph here. Its been a while since I've written in here. But I figured I should write more in this no matter how damn cheesy it is._**

 ** _I'm not a virgin anymore. All thanks to Leo as crazy as that shit sounds. And HE was the one who admitted he had feelings for ME which started this whole batshit crazy thing. Fuck I didn't even know what I was missin before him and me even happened. We've been keepin this a secret from everybody though. I thought it would be an easy secret to keep, but damn I was wrong. Now that we have had sex all I want to do is devour every inch of Fearless no matter where we are or who is around. Its so damn annoying hiding this! Leo wants to keep it a secret for a bit longer, he doesn't know how Sensei will react. I'd never admit it out loud, but I'm kinda scared to tell Sensei. He's so hard to read and with him bein' human before he was mutated, he might not like the idea of two brothers fuckin every chance they get._**

 ** _I wonder if Leo ever writes in his Journal I'll have to ask him abOu-_**

 ** _Damn you Michelangelo! Anyway I gotta go. Mikey just busted into my room scaring the living shit outta me. Gotta eat dinner, and tease Leo from across the table to of course._**

 ** _-RAPH_**

 _Stuffing the red covered book into a small cardboard box, Raph tucks it safely underneath his hammock in its safe hidden spot under a few playboy and motorcycle magazines. He exits his room stretching his sore arms over his head in the process and makes his way into the kitchen. Everybody is already at the table listening to Donnie talk about his latest experiment and eating the spaghetti and garlic bread Mikey made._

 _The second Raph's eyes land onto Leo's, his lips form into a sly smirk and he can feel his tail flick from excitement. Leo's cheeks instantly flush pink and Raph just knows Leo saw his tail wag as he headed to the counter to dish up his dinner onto his plate._

 _" - so I made one for each of us. They are indestructible and small enough to fit into our belts." Donnie finally finishes what ever it was he was babbling about, twirling his spaghetti onto his fork._

 _"No way D! That's like the COOLEST thing! Can you play videogames on it? Can you listen to sweeeeet jams on it? Oh oh! Can you video chat -" Mikey's excited voice chirps through the kitchen in a way that would normally annoy Raphael, with his loudly obnoxious voice echoing off the walls making Donnie groan in frustration as the questions keep flying out of the freckled turtles mouth at speed fire. But today Raph could care less. Lately nothing has been able to really piss the hothead off._

 _Not even the infamous Mikey._

 _By the time Raph joined the table, he had absolutely no idea what his family had been talking about, nor did he really care. As much as the red masked ninja hated having to keep the thing between him a Leo a secret, he really enjoyed teasing his older brother in front of the others. Its not like Leo can call him out for it, and the embarrassment on his face is just priceless._

 _Whatever Mike was saying, went right through one of Raph's ear and out the other. Sitting directly across from Leo makes this way to easy. Raph twirls the noodles around on his fork watching the red sauce swirl around with it, when he brings his full fork to his lips he sucks the noodles slowly into his mouth eyeing Leo the whole time until the end of the last noodle reaches its destination into his mouth. To bad a little bit of sauce was still on his bottom lip, leaving Raph no choice but to slide his tongue out and lick it off accidently biting his lip in the process._

 _He can hear Leo gulp down the bite of garlic bread he chewed from his side of the table. His face almost as red as this red sauce on their spaghetti, he narrows his ocean blue eyes in a dangerous glare and kicks Raph's shin underneath the table._

 _Raph has to hide his laugh that's daring to come out of his throat, but when he sucks in air for a breath he accidently swallows the remaining food in his mouth and it goes down the wrong way making him choke. Stupid damn bread._

 _But now he cant help but laugh as he is coughing for air and reaching for his glass of milk on the table, being totally oblivious to all the eyes that have focused on him._

 _"Dude you okay man?" Mikey questions placing his fork down on his plate from across the table sitting next to Leo, his freckled face full of concern._

 _"M' fine, Jesus -" His voice comes out hoarse and scratchy followed by another cough attack unable to finish his sentence. He can feel his face turn red and his eyes watery from the lack of oxygen in his lungs._

 _Donnie pats Raph's shell from the left side of the table, brows furred, wearing a questioning face. With a brain as big as Donnie's, he is probably thinking of all the reasons to why Raph is choking on his dinner and laughing about it. It is extremely hard to hide ANYTHING from the scientific purple banded brother. He has been giving Leo and Raph the weirdest expressions lately, like he just knows something is up._

 _"My son, drink some of your milk." Splinter gestures to the cup in Raph's hand. Oh, right. Duh you idiot._

 _Feeling stupid, Raphael brings the cold glass to his lips gulping down the whole cup avoiding everyone's gaze. Underneath the table something brushes his foot in a soft soothing way. Right away he can tell that it's Leo's foot. He must feel bad for being the reason his brother can't breathe, Leo never shows any sign around the others that they are together._

 _Even though he is just playing footsie under the table, Raph's not going to complain. Even if he could talk and breathe like a normal person at the moment, he still wouldn't._

 _"What happened?" Donnie asks when Raph puts his now empty glass down onto the table, finally moving his hand from Raph's shell._

 _Clearing his throat, Raph leans back against the chair and reaches his foot out further to rub Leo's foot back. "Nothin', just swallowed my food wrong." His voice is still really hoarse and scratchy, but he just shrugs it off like its nothing. He cant help but notice how Leo's cheeks are slightly pink, and the leader is doing everything he can to avoid Raph's gaze._

 _"But why were you laughing about it? Choking isn't funny dude." Mikey finally picks his fork back up and shovels spaghetti into his mouth getting red sauce all over his face like a child._

 _"Cuz yer such a damn slob!" Raph laughs and chucks a napkin at Mikey who catches it sticking his tongue out, wasn't a complete lie. Once the weird tension is gone and all the attention is back on Mikey who continues to bombard Donnie with questions about his new invention, Raph sends Leo a dark glare still rubbing his foot up against Leo's._

 _By the time dinner was over, Mikey and Donnie went over to the couch to watch Myth Busters, sensei went into the dojo probably to meditate, and Leo was left on dishes duty with a towel slung across his shoulder, leaving Raphael extremely bored. He decided to stay behind in the kitchen and enjoy the view. For some reason playing footsie really got him turned on and he doesn't plan on leaving his mates side._

 _Who could've thought watching someone do the dishes could be so damn hot?_

 _Leo turned on the small radio that is in the corner of the counter when he started his chore, and he probably doesn't even realize that he is actually dancing along to the music and quietly singing along. "Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep. Dreamin about the things that we could be." He quietly sings, right in tune. Raph's eyes move down to Leo's hips and holy shit! How do you even move your hips like that to a song like this? The way he is swaying them to the beat, he can dance?_

 _"You can dance?!" He blurts out, voice still a tad bit on the scratchy side._

 _Even though Raph can't see his face, he can tell the older turtle is rolling his eyes by the sound of his voice. "Quit watching me you creeper. Since your in here you might as well help me out ya know."_

 _Suddenly standing at his feet, Raph moves over behind Leo's shell and presses his plastron a little to close making Leo's breath quicken. "Oh, I'll help ya alright." He whispers into Leo's ear and places his hands firmly on Leo's hips grinding himself against Leo to the beat of the song._

 _"Oh God -" Leo quietly gasps, still moving his hips along with Raph's, pressing back into him having to control the churr that wants to escape his mouth. Leo rolls his head back into Raph's shoulder and quietly groans gripping the plastic soapy bowl in his hands tight enough to make his knuckles turn white. "Raph, we cant. Not out here in the open."_

 _But something about being out here in the open, chancing others eyes on them as they get it on in the kitchen sends thrills to Raphael's groin. Fuck that would be so hot! And also slightly embarrassing, but still hot._

 _"Mmm let them see." He mumbles out into Leo's neck as he bites into his leaf green skin and sucks hoping to leave a mark._

 _"Ahhha - Dammit Raph..." Leo quickly squirms out of Raph's grasp making his lips leave his neck with a pop and whips Raph in the thigh with his towel, glancing into the pit to make sure nobody saw them._

 _Ever since the first time they had sex, the littlest things have been turning them both on. And dammit all Raph can think about is Leo being inside of him pounding him into the mattress! Even though he hasn't topped yet, he honestly doesn't really mind, he never thought he'd want somebody in him so badly. A frustrated wine followed by a chuckle escapes his throat when Leo wiggles away and hits him with the towel._

 _Next thing he knows Leo throws the towel at Raph, who ends up catching it before it lands on his face. "You dry, and I'll wash." He instructs and finishes the bowl he was scrubbing earlier but in a much faster pace._

 _"This isn't what I wanted to help ya with Fearless." Raph narrows his green eyes in annoyance but takes the wet clean bowl Leo hands to him anyway, and wipes it down dry._

 _"Well the quicker this is done, the faster we can sneak into my room. Alone." Leo husks in a seductive deep voice and glances over his shoulder at their little brothers who are slumped against the couch with their full divided attention onto the television. When he sees that nobody is looking he moves his right wet and soapy hand to Raph's ass and squeezes hard._

 _"Fuckin' shit Leonardo!" Raph yelps, and luckily nobody seemed to notice. Both turtles feeling extremely aroused, they quickly go through the dishes and quietly sneak into Leo's bedroom._

 _Raph closes the wooden door behind him and practically pounces on top of Leo on the bed. His mouth latches onto Leo's thick neck and out of instinct he begins to bite and suck on the green flesh while grinding into Leo's lap. "Yer gonna pay fer makin' me choke ya asshole."_

 _Leo groans and lifts his hips up to make more friction. "What are you talking about Raphie? Why would I ever make you choke? That would be totally rude of me." His voice is completely soft and full of innocence. If Raph didn't know any better he would believe this smug son of a bitch. But he's not blind. And he has lived with this jerk his whole life._

 _"Oh, now yer really gonna get it." The bigger turtle growls and fiercely smashes their mouths together into a very heated kiss. He slides his tongue into the leaders mouth as their hips continue to grind making both their bulges rub together. Raph's hands slide under Leo and grip his ass just as hard as Leo did to him in the kitchen, making the blue masked ninja moan into his mouth._

 _"Oh God, Raph." Leo pulls away from the kiss and stops their frantic grinding to run his hands through Raph's red mask wrapped around his beautiful green eyes. "I want you to take me." His leaf green fingers slide the red material off of Raph's face and he holds the fabric in his hand, with his other hand cupping Raph's cheek._

 _Holy shit. Holy. Motherfucking. Shit._

 _Did Leo just say...?_

 _"What?"_

 _Although Raph is clearly confused, Leo chuckles and rubs Raph's sleepy face with his thumb. "Maybe I should put this in a way you'd understand me better." He leans forward and presses his lips to Raph's for a soft quick kiss. "I want you to fuck me, Raph."_

 _Oh. So I did hear that correctly._

 _Where did this even come from? Raph was totally fine with Leo being the one to top, and he knew it had to do with a territorial thing with Leo being the oldest or some shit like that. But damn! Leo actually wants Raph to take him already?_

 _Leo completely freezes underneath Raph's plastron. "Oh shit. Did I cross a line?" Raph's eyes shoot back down to Leo. "Ah dammit. Sorry Raph! Y-You don't have to if you don't want to. I mean its fine really I can wait longer if that's what you want,"_

 _"Leo." Raph tries to stop the turtle from his constant rambling, but it doesn't work._

 _"God i'm such an idiot!" Leo sits up making Raph sit up with him, still sitting in his lap. " I keep coming off too strong. I really don't want to rush things between us. I like where we are at, I really do! But Jeezus Raph, you can drive me insane. I've never wanted something as bad as I want you. So I'm really okay if you are wanting to wait,"_

 _"Leo."_

 _"I just don't want to ruin this. This, you, well. Your the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't want to lose you. Especially if its over something this dumb." Leo finally stops rambling and looks up at Raph who has the biggest smug look on his face._

 _"You are such a silly turtle, ya know that?" Raph chuckles at Leo's confused face and kisses his forehead._

 _Sure Raph could have called him an idiot, or a dumbass. Which he sometimes can be. But even though Fearless is no doubt strong, sometimes you got to be careful with the words you say to people. With him already rambling on about how he THINKS he already messed up, it just wouldn't feel right to call him names at the moment. So yes, Raph called him silly._

 _"I have wanted to take ya fer years Fearless. I just didn't want ta rush ya into it." Leo smiles and rests their foreheads together wrapping his arms around Raph's torso and lets out a deep breath. "So get outta that stubborn head of yers."_

 _"Pfft, coming from the worlds most stubborn turtle." His voice is full of sarcasm, but the big shit eating grin on his face says otherwise._

 _The two come together again, pressing their lips together with Leo still smiling. "I love you." Leo mumbles into Raph's mouth._

 _"What is the meaning of this?!" A strong stern Japanese voice rings all throughout the room and the two teens fly apart from one another with wide eyes and red cheeks._

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Shit shit SHIT!_

 _Standing right at the now opened door is their father. He looks like a bucket of ice water has been dumped down his robe by the shocked expression on his face. Oh fuck he wasn't supposed to find out! Especially NOT like THIS! How long has he even been standing there?_

 _"My room NOW!" Splinters stern voice echoes through the room as he turns around, tail flicking as he heads to his bedroom._

 _Leo and Raph don't dare make eye contact. Both to scared to even move, but even more scared on what their father will do if they don't obey and follow. Mikey and Donnie watch with confused expressions on their face as their older brothers follow Sensei into the dojo with their heads down, but neither make a comment about it._

 _And the shoji door slides shut behind them._

 _Goddammit._

* * *

 _ **A/N:** Another cliff hanger, sorry. Oh man did this chapter give me trouble! So much has been happening in my life that's kept me away from this story and im so sorry it took so long to update. But the next few chapters will be flashbacks just so you know._

 _I don't have anyone proof reading this so feel free to let me know any errors. And I apologize if there happen to be any._

 _For those of you who have reviewed, thank you so much! Y'all are amazing! And to the silent readers, thank you so much for reading my story! (:_


	17. Chapter 17 Red

_Hamato Yoshi is the most self controlled man Raphael knows. In his sixteen years of life, Raph has never seen Splinter truly lose his shit. And yet this is the man who had taken four mutated babies into his care while also trying to deal with the fact he had been transformed into a huge rat with absolutely no help at all whatsoever. And Raph knows damn well he hasn't been the easiest turtle to raise. He knows he has a temper on him, he always has and probably always will._

 _One time Raph messed up, real bad too. He lost control of his temper and was standing to close to Mikey and it was like the world around him faded into red, ears ringing, by the time the other colors came back into his vision he had his little brother slammed into the smashed coffee table on the floor and his arm was broken. The first noise he heard was his baby brother screaming in pain._

 _Raph was the one to break the coffee table. He was the one who broke his little brothers arm._

 _Why he did it? Raphael can't even remember. It was probably something really stupid like the jokester pulled another dumb prank, or made fun of Raph for babying Spike again, hid his sais from him - whatever it was Raph finally snapped. Even though that was only two years ago, there was no good reason to break Mikey's bones._

 _Michelangelo is the worlds biggest pain in the ass, but he means well. And quite frankly Mikey is the one sibling who Raph has always been close to. They've always been best friends._

 _All Raph knows is he has never felt so horrible in his life. Seeing his baby brother lie on the floor surrounded by broken woodchips from the coffee table, yelling in pain with tears streaming down his face and holding his swollen arm, and Raph couldn't do anything about it. He was the cause of that pain. Raph still hasn't forgiven himself from that day and he probably never will._

 _And what did Master Splinter do?_

 _He couldn't even look Raphael in the eyes that day he was so furious. Hell Raph couldn't even look at himself in the mirror after that for a while. But when Splinter did talk to him, he was just tired. Raph could tell he was sick of telling his son the same thing with the same disappointed look in his eyes._

 _It is that exact look that he has always gotten from his father. No matter what he does, all it will ever do is bring disappointment in his Sensei's eyes. He's the hothead in the family, the screw up. He'll never be good enough._

 _Raph is just lucky he has such a forgiving little brother. And his arm healed nicely, no permanent damage._

 _Splinter is a calm and relaxed man. He has never truly snapped on anyone, at least Raph has never witnessed that. But today is different. Here on his knees, next to Leo in front of their father who hasn't stopped frantically pacing since the moment they arrived in his room. This is bad. Real bad. Master Splinter isn't the pacing kind of guy._

 _How much did he see? How long was he standing at the door? Why didn't I lock the door dammit!?_

 _Oh God. If he was there longer than a minuet then he would have heard... Oh God, oh motherfucking shit! Master Splinter might have HEARD his two sons talk about fucking each other! He might have seen his two sons grinding on top of one another! Considering how stressed out the rat seems to be he probably did see all of it. His long tail whips side to side as he strides across from one side of the room to the other, while stroking his long beard, eyebrows furred and eyes narrowed. He seems to be quietly mumbling Japanese to himself, but Raph cannot hear it clear enough to make out the words._

 _Suddenly it gets really hard to breathe and the room starts to feel like an oven. Who the fuck turned the heater on?! Its not winter! Raph can practically feel his face slowly turning more and more paler by the second. His heart starts pounding in his plastron and sweat starts dripping down the back of his neck. If he doesn't get out of here soon he may pass out, throw up, or worse, have a heart attack._

 _Glancing from the corner of his eye, he can tell Leo is probably feeling the same way. The guys face is paper white and he wont move his focus from the floor. Raph wants more than anything to just reach out and hold his hand, to let him know that this will be okay. But Raph doesn't even know himself if its going to be okay. Splinter wasn't supposed to find out like this! They had it all planned! They were going to wait a while and then tell him in a calm relaxed manner._

 _Those plans shot straight out the window._

 _Raph scoots closer closing the small space between his legs and Leo's. If he can't grow the balls to hold his hand in front of his father, then he needs to at least be touching him somehow. He already feels slightly better with the warmth radiating off from Leo's strong legs onto his. Closing his eyes he takes a deep breath through his nose trying to slow his pulse down._

 _Gotta relax and calm down. Just breathe. Deep breath in and out the nose. Not gonna panic. Not going to get angry. Just relax._

 _"Leonardo," Splinter finally speaks up, voice harsh making Leo and Raph both flinch at the tone as their sensei pauses in front of them. His hands are behind his back and his face is full of anger, concern, disappointment._

 _Well shit._

 _The thumping in Raph's plastron picks up again and he can practically hear it, its beating so damn fast. There goes trying to calm down!_

 _"How long has this been happening?" He questions sharply but doesn't give Leo enough time to answer, even though Leo looks to stunned to answer anyway still refusing to meet his fathers gaze. "This, - this relationship you two have formed..." He lets out a deep sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. "It isn't right. You are brothers, you were raised as brothers! This is incest my sons, you are old enough to know that by now! Have you not considered how this **thing** between you both can effect your team? How it can effect your family?!" His words are sharp, harshly getting louder and louder the more he talks._

 _"I could sense a strong aura coming from both of you, but never would I have imagined it to be this. You cannot use your brother for sexual pleasure!" Splinter heavily sighs and rubs his eyes with his paws._

 _Raph feels all the worry and fear flow out of him and suddenly grows angry. He certainly does NOT use his brother for sexual pleasure! How could his father think so low of them?! He would NEVER use Leonardo like some stupid slut! He didn't even give Leo anytime to explain themselves!_

 _"You've got ta be fuckin' joking." Raph mumbles and shakes his head chuckling. He can feel Leo's blue eyes snap up to stare holes into his head, but he ignores him. "Why doesn't it surprise me that you would think so low of me?" He narrows his green eyes, finally looking up at his father who is still slightly confused about this whole situation but anger is still all over his face. "I would NEVER use Leo in any type of way fer sexual pleasure, and he'd never do that ta me neither!" Raph is standing now, Leo's gaze is still locked onto Raph's face from where he is kneeling._

 _"Why do you think so lowly of me?! I'm in love with Leonardo and even though it may be wrong in yer eyes I honestly don't give a fuck! I mean come on! Have you seen what we are? Have you see what people think of us?! There is no goddamn way ANYONE in the right mind would ever want this!" Raph gestures to himself, tears threatening to leave his eyes. "We're freaks!" He's yelling now. _

_"Raphael," Splinter starts, voice strict and ready to bud in but Raph isn't finished._

 _"Mikey and Don would be happy fer us, I know they would. Because in a fucked up world like this, freaks like us don't get happiness! We help save peoples lives every god dammed day and almost get killed fer it! We do all of that knowing we will never be thanked or accepted! I've been able to come to terms with that shit to. But this?!" He gestures to him and Leo, who is standing now with a concerned look on his face. "I will never give up Leo. And there is no fucking way you'll make me!"_

 _Raph's vision is starting to blur and his cheeks are soaking wet. Crying - he has been crying and didn't even realize it. Blurred dots of red start to form in his vision and his ears start to ring. The room starts spinning and Raph is tempted to just sit back down on the floor so he doesn't pass out, but he doesn't want to be here anymore._

 _"You had a great life with Shen and you had a kid, but us? We will never get that! I bet you Shen would have been happy fer me and Leo to 'cuz she'd understand! Ugh God!"_ _Raph grabs his head with his hands and squints his eyes shut._ _He's gotta get outta here! He has to leave before he loses control again and really hurts someone! Leo is saying something but Raph can't hear him. Before Raph even realizes it his feet are taking him out of the lair. He runs out the door from Splinters room, past Donnie and Mikey who were listening through the door and out the lair avoiding their worried faces._

 _He can hear his name being shouted, echoing through the sewer tunnels but avoids it. He's gotta get away from here! His feet finally reach a ladder leading to the surface of New York city, and he quickly climbs up to the top opening the manhole cover. Soon his feet are running across the rooftops, he has no clue where he is going but all he knows is it better be far away from here._

 _He can hardly see anything in front of him with the tears filling up his vision and dripping down his cheeks, but that wont stop him from running. He's been running for what feels like hours. Thunder rumbles from the dark stormy clouds above and soon trickles of rain start to fall._

 _Of course it'd start raining. This is the worst day ever._

 _Fuck the rain. Fuck this stupid god dammed day. Fuck life. Fucking dammit!_

 _"Shit!" Raph yells as he comes to a stop on a random roof top. His lungs are burning from running for so long and his muscles feel numb from the cold rain pouring down his shoulders. Growling he slams his fist into the stoned wall on the roof probably breaking his hand, but he barley felt it. He turns around so his shell is facing the now bloody wall and leans against it sliding down and pulls his legs up to his plastron._

 _Sensei was so mad. If he didn't hate Raph before he probably defiantly does now. But he didn't even give Leo a chance to explain themselves! Oh God! Leo! Raph just left him there! He left him there with Splinter all by himself! Fucking shit who does that?! That's some messed up shit!_

 _Groaning Raph digs his face further into his knees blocking out the sounds of the city streets below him._

 _How great would it be if lighting struck him right now and put him out of his misery? He's lived through enough shit. Though Leo would probably raise him from the dead himself just so he could kill him again._ _Leo is probably just going to kill him anyway for running off and being a dick. He really didn't handle talking to Splinter that well. But what do you expect from the family hothead? He had to defend his mate!_

 _"Well well well! What do we have here?" a familiar Brazilian accent rings through Raph's ears but he doesn't even bother looking up, he already knows who it is._

 _"Looks like nothin' but turtle shit to me." Another voice calls from further away on the right corner of the roof._

 _Ugh. Bastards! Can't a turtle sulk in peace for once?!_

 _Raph slowly lifts his head from his knees giving the stupid fish and dog the nastiest glare he can. "Funny, comin' from the bitch of Shredder's slaves." He spits out but doesn't even bother to stand up or let alone move from his position on the floor._

 _Razar growls and makes his way closer to the emerald turtle along with Fishface at his side. "You talk a lot of shit for a guy with no weapons."_

 _Raph wants to turn around and bang his head on the wall. Of course he didn't have any weapons on him! Of. Fucking. Course. His sais along with all of his gear are still in a pile at the edge of Leo's bed in his room. He is completely naked in front of the enemy and has fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. This day is just fan-freakin-tastic!_

 _"Ya know, turtle has never been my type, but being naked really suits you. Maybe Shredder will let me play with you after we capture you." Fishface smirks as he finally gets close enough to Raph's face reaching out to touch him._

 _The emerald turtle gags at the thought of him and Fishface together like that. "Eww what the actual FUCK man!? That is just down right sick!" Raph shrieks and kicks the nasty fish in the gut hard enough to make him stumble back words giving the turtle enough time to get up onto his feet. "Ya bastard!" He growls and uses his bloody fist to quickly wipe his teary eyes._

 _Xever just laughs darkly at the teenagers disgust and gets in a fighting stance with his fists up. Razar rolls his eyes in annoyance and pops his knuckles. "Sexual pleasure is weakness, I prefer just plain torture as my pleasure. Which of course you'll be getting the whole experience from each of us once you are ours. We get to do whatever we want with ya kid."_

 _"Well I hate ta break it to ya, but you ain't capturing me today assholes." Raph pulls his fists up as well, ready for a fight. This is exactly what he needs. To let all of this shit out from tonight! And who better to let it out on than these idiots!? "You just made my night by finding me here. Although ya might not walk away from this fight." He growls out that last part and before he knows it his feet are guiding him again._

 _He is suddenly right in front of Razar and his good fist throws a **hard** punch at the dogs jaw, causing a loud snap making the other mutant wine and fall onto the rain soaked floor in pain. Damn that felt good. _

_He doesn't have time to take in the tingling in his fist because Fishface is now running at him full speed with a smirk on his lips. "Ya disgusting son of a bitch!" Raph growls dogging a kick to the face and quickly spins around sweeping a leg under the fish's metal feet making him land on his back. The emerald turtle doesn't waste anytime and kicks the bastard right in the gut making the fish cough out blood._

 _Raphael turns around just in time to doge an uppercut to the jaw from Razar and quickly jumps in the air kicking his foot up with him, hitting Bradford's already broken jaw knocking him out cold. His ears start to ring and he can feel his hands start to shake but Raph ignores it and turns back around to Fishface who is still on the floor with Razar down next to him._

 _Raph straddles Fishface's lap and clenches his bloody fists. "Raphael, I am not the only one in the Foot Clan who is sexually attracted to you turtles." Fishface says with a smug look on his face before Raph sends a hard punch to Xever's cheek. "Oh, God the things I'd do to you." Punch. Punch. Punch. Blood is covered all over Xever's face and in his mouth. He spits it up at Raph's face and laughs. "Tigerclaw wants Leonardo. I hear him at night moaning your leaders name."_

 _And that's when everything suddenly turned different shades of red. Raph knew he should stop punching whatever it is he is punching on this fucking bastards body because if he keeps this up then Fishface will for sure be dead. But dammit this bitch really crossed a line! No one will ever disrespect Leonardo in anyway, shape or form! This asshole is damn lucky Raph doesn't have his sais on him right now. _

_All Raph wants to do is stick on right into Xever's throat and find Tigerclaw and use his other sai to repeatedly stab him in the face._

 _It took everything for Raphael to get up and just walk away from that bloody piece of shit underneath him. Fishface lost consciousness a long time ago. Hell, he's probably dead. But Raph didn't bother to check. He just left the two low lives knocked out on the roof and headed towards the rooftops closer to the lair._

 _He still is nowhere near ready to go back home, but if he is close to the lair maybe Leo will find him. That's all he wants right now is Leo._

 _Raph ended up on Murakami's rooftop sitting at the ledge with his feet dangling off. It took him a good two hours to get to this side of town, but at least the rain has died down to light sprinkles now. The rain wasn't enough to wash away all the blood and Raph was wearing enough of it to where it looks like it is his own. He is plastered in red._

 _"Oh my God! Raphael!" It didn't take long for Leo to find him after he got to Murakami's place. The second Raph saw the worried expression on Leo's face he immediately felt his stomach drop with guilt and his eyes stung with tears again. At least Leo has his gear on. He never leaves the lair without it._

 _Leo was quickly at Raph's side and his hands immediately started searching for the cause of all the blood. "Are you okay? What the hell happened?"_

 _Raph grabs Leo's frantic hands into his own with his own and pulls the leaf green turtle close to his plastron wrapping his shaky arms around Leo's neck. "It's not mine." He mumbles into Leo's shoulder knowing how Leo's eyes are still trying to find the sore of the dried blood. "It's Fishface's, but I don't really wanna talk about it right now, okay?" When Leo wraps his strong arms around his middle he knows Leo will drop the topic for now._

 _The two turtles stay in each others warm embrace like that for what feels like hours. Neither wanted to let go or break the warmth of the silence surrounding them. But Raph has a thousand things he wants to tell Leo. And he's got to start somewhere. He loosens his tight grip around Leo's neck and runs his hands down Leo's arms softly. And that's when Leo notices his hand._

 _"Oh my God, Raphael!" Leo shakes his head and soflty grabs Raph's broken hand into his. It is still numb surprisingly, but pretty soon its gonna hurt like a bitch. "Is this from Fishface?!"_

 _"No. Well kinda. I punched a wall first then Razar's face, then Fishface's face." He shrugs still not wanting to talk about this specific topic yet. "It's nothin'."_

 _"You took on Fishface AND Razar?!" The mother hen Leo is starting to show and his anger is all over his face now. "Dammit Raph! What if they got you? How in the world would we know where you went?!" Leo finally lets go of Raph's injured hand and turns around taking a deep breath running his hands on his bald head. "You - You cant do that to me." His voice is really shaky and Raph can tell he is on the edge of crying._

 _He turns back around, blue eyes starring right into Raph's green eyes. "You were gone for hours! And I couldn't," He blinks and suddenly looses it. Tears start rolling down his cheeks and Raph feels his heart drop. "I couldn't find you! I didn't know if something bad happened to you! You scared the shit outta me!"_

 _Raph walked up to Leonardo and cupped his cheeks with both his hands, wincing a little with his broken hand when it touched Leo's skin. "I'm so sorry Leo." Tears of his own start to fall now. Leo rests his head on Raph's shoulder and loosely holds onto Raph's sides. "I'm so sorry."_

 _The peak of the sunset starts to rise over Leo's shoulder, filling New Yorks sky with a soft orange yellow. Raphael didn't even realize how long he was out, no wonder Leo is a mess._

 _"Just don't do that to me. Ever again! Don't you dare leave me Raphael."_

 _Raph's shoulder is wet from Leo's tears, but he ignores it and kisses Leo's temple before wrapping him in his arms again. "I wont. I'm here. I'll never leave you Leo."_

* * *

 **A/N:** This my friends is why this story is in the drama category. I couldn't see Splinter taking finding his sons making out with one another lightly, but don't worry! One more chapter for this little memory Raph is having. Then a few more of jumbled up memories then back to reality and then hopefully I'll be done with this story! But man this chapter was like eating nails to write. I just wasn't feeling it. Hopefully its not to bad. I had to fit it all in to so its longer than my other chapters.

The new Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles is so awesome! Have you guys seen the episodes yet?

Thank you all so much for the reviews and favorites on this story by the way! That's the only thing that's keeping me inspired to finish this fic off! You all are awesome!


	18. Chapter 18 You and Me

_It took a lot of convincing to get Raph to go back to the lair. Leo had to agree to some alone time no matter how the talk goes with their father when they make it back to their underground home._

 _Leo didn't even get a chance to see his fathers face when Raph ran out, because he ran after him. But damn the hothead is fast when he wants to be! The second he turned left at the first sewer tunnel Leo lost him. And no, Leo did not catch a glimpse of Raph's perky ass as he was running full sprint. He totally wouldn't do that._

 _"Don really made this?" Raph asks as he fumbles with the small green electronic device in his hand. It has a small screen on the front and on the back it looks like a small turtle shell. Donnie really outdid himself! Sometimes the guy needs to learn how to take a break though, he's always overworking himself._

 _"Yup, if you were listening during dinner and not messing around you would have known." Leo crosses his arms over his plastron and narrows his eyes at his mate walking beside him. They have finally made it into the sewers. Both turtles in no hurry to get home but Leo is already feeling safer underground. The sound of water streaming through the tunnels is already bringing peace to both turtles ears._

 _"Pfft ya know ya weren't listenin' either dumbass!" The emerald turtle elbows Leo in the arm._

 _"Jerk!" The katana wielder elbows him back trying to hide the smile creeping to his lips._

 _"Bitch!"_

 _"Idiot!"_

 _"Asshole!"_

 _"Loser!"_

 _"Shitface!"_

 _"Hothead!"_

 _"Dickwad!"_

 _"Sexy bastard."_

 _"Oooh so ya wanna play like that huh, Daddy?" Raph whispers lowly into Leo's ear making Leo immediately choke on his spit. "S-Shit Raphael!" He stutters, whole face so red it matches Raph's mask._

 _Raph just chuckles at his mates embarrassment. "Who would've guessed Fearless has a daddy kink?" That earned him another elbow to his arm making him laugh louder even though there will probably be a bruise on his arm later._

 _"I don't have a daddy kink." Leo mumbles quietly and crosses his arms looking like a little kid pouting._

 _"Sure, whatever ya say," Raph giggles and wraps an arm around Leo's shoulders and leans in to press a kiss to Leo's cheek, before he leans away he presses his mouth to Leo's ear and whispers as seductively as he can manage at the moment. "Daddy." Wow, that actually came out pretty rough and hot sounding! And one look at Leo's face with how big his eyes are and how red his face is again, Raph must have sounded pretty damn sexy!_

 _"Oh my God Raphael!" Leo totally did not squeak, there must have been a rat roaming by when he said that._

 _Blame it on this shitty day or the fact that Leo's face is so red its going down to his neck, Raph is having a damn good time messing with Leonardo and he isn't finished yet. He's had a shit ass day and dammit he will have fun with this! With a smirk on his lips he slows down their trek back home and gives Leo a smug look. "Has anyone ever told you your ass looks like a phone, cuz I wanna hit the pound button all day long."_

 _"Raph!" Leo chokes out and hides his face with his hands._

 _"Baby, your bone structure is giving my BONE structure."_

 _"Oh God! Stooooooop!" Leo shoves Raph's arm and cant help but laugh at his obnoxious mate._

 _"I would tell you a joke about my penis... but its to long."_

 _"You are such a pain in the ass!" Leo cackles as they turn to go down their last tunnel and they are soon met up with the entrance of their home. "What? No jokes about how there will be a pain in my ass later?" Leo giggles and looks at Raph but his laugh gets cut short from the scared look on his face. "Hey," Now filled with concern Leo slides his hand into Raph's intertwining their fingers together and brings his other hand to cup his cheek and turns Raph's face to look at Leo in the eye. "Focus on me babe."_

 _Raph sighs and leans his head forward resting his forehead onto Leo's. How Raph can go from angrily beating up some Foot, to a crying mess, to cocky and flirty and now terrified all in a few hours, hell, Raph doesn't even know himself what the fuck his emotions are doing. He knows one thing certain though. "I'm scared, Leo." He whispers as he looks into the grounding blue eyes in front of him._

 _"Me to." Leo whispers back and rubs his thumb in soothing circles on Raph's cheek. "But whatever happens in there, I know it'll be okay."_

 _Sighing into the warmth on his face, Raph gives Leo's hand a squeeze and a soft smile creeps on his lips when he feels Leo squeeze back as his fingers brush over his knuckles. "Because you'll be right there with me."_

 _Raph pulls their clasped hands together to his lips and kisses Leo's hand. "Leo," He takes a shaky breath. God why is it so difficult to talk about serious things?! He refocuses his gaze on Leo's blue eyes. The soft blue of the ocean with light sky blue rays in the middle of the orbs. Shit he could get lost in these beautiful eyes in front of him. "W-What if I lose control? What if I get mad again? I don't want to hurt anybody, not like that time I hurt Mikey! Leo what if I lose control and I hurt you next time? Oh God what if I hurt you?! I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself I -"_

 _"Raph you'd never hurt me." Leo brings his other hand and cups both Raph's cheeks stopping the turtle from his rant. "I know you'd never hurt me. And you wont lose control either."_

 _"How do ya know that?" He whispers sounding like such a wimp as tears fill his eyes. God Raph hates sounding so damn weak._

 _"Because I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere, Its you and me from now on. When you get angry I'll be there to remind you that I'll love you no matter what and that's all that matters from now on. Just you and me." Leo wipes a tear off of Raph's cheek with his thumb. "I love you so much Raphael."_

 _"I love ya to Leo." Raph closes the small gap in between them and presses their lips together._

 _Warmth. That's what he feels with Leo. His whole body feels warm when they are together. Warm and safe like nothing can ever come between them. He's never felt so loved in his life and he'd be damned if he ever let his mate go._

 _His mate._

 _God he is the luckiest turtle in the world to have Leonardo his._

 _He pulls away and grabs Leo's hand into his. And together they walk into the lair neither knowing whether it'll be the last time they are in this home or not. They might have to give up everything. And that's scary. But Raph will do it if he has to. With Leo by his side he'll do anything._

 _The second they walk in they find all three family members eagerly waiting on the couch, with very worried faces. Raph almost wants to shy away from Leo when there eyes land on him and Leo, but Leo holds on to Raph's hand tighter and pulls him close so Raph is more behind Leo protectively. Leo's body heat is so warm when he is standing this close to him and its actually pretty relaxing._

 _"Dude are you okay?!" Mikey bounces off the couch and heads towards Raph with a shocked expression on his face followed by Donnie. Splinter keeps his distance but also stands up to._

 _"What the shell happened knucklehead!" Donnie sighs._

 _It took Raph a minuet to realize that he was still covered in blood. Right. Why are they asking him about this and not about Leo? Can't they not see that they are holding hands? Did they not hear the heated conversation with Splinter?_

 _Donnie went to grab Raph's arm and check for wounds but Leo backed Raph more behind him and stood in between them. Damn why is Fearless so sexy being protective like this? And why can't Raph answer any of the questions that are being asked towards him? He opens his mouth to say something but the words wont come out._

 _"Woah Leo, its okay I was just going to see if he has any wounds. That's all!" Donnie immediately puts both of his hands up in surrender and takes a step back words._

 _"My sons," Master Splinter clears his throat, "I was afraid you would not return." He walks closer to the couple and puts a paw on Donnie's shoulder, the purple banded turtle nods and grabs Mikey's arm to head into the lab to give them privacy. The two youngest glace back before they close the lab door behind them. "Please do not scare me like that musuko." He sounds more tired than usual and looking at the rat he looks awful._

 _How long have we been gone? The sun was coming up when they got here right? Its not like Raph hasn't stayed out this late before so why is it such a big deal?_

 _"You can understand why we wouldn't want to come back though right father? You pretty much disowned us." Leo stands his ground._

 _Yoshi sighs and rubs his eyes with his paw. "Please sit and I will explain myself." He gestures to the couch. Leo nods respectfully and keeps his grip on Raph's hand bringing them both to the couch. They sit so close together that there is no space between their legs._

 _"You must understand how confusing it was for me to find two of my sons - well, you both know how I found you two. I was raised in a world where being romantic towards a sibling or anyone you are related to is wrong. Donatello has informed to me that you four brothers are all not blood related. And although you are raised as brothers, what I want is for you all to be happy. And I truly am glad you both have been able to find happiness. I may be your father, but that puts me in no position to judge you for who you chose to love in this life. I just needed time to see this relationship for what it truly is, and it is clear now that you both love each other as more than brothers."_

 _"Hai, we do." Leo looks over at Raph with a smile on his face and it grows even bigger when he sees Raph is smiling back at him._

 _"I love him so much Sensei." Raph says so soft its almost a whisper, he cant seem to look away from Leo now that he is._

 _"Then you both have my blessing. Who am I to keep my musuko from happiness?"_

 _"Yo you guys got my blessing to!" Mikey walks into the pit with Donnie right behind him looking down at his feet in guilt._

 _"So you guys are mates?" The gap toothed turtle asks finally looking up from his feet to smirk at his older brothers._

 _"Yes, Raph is my mate. Sorry we kept this from you guys." Leo gives his brothers an apologetic look and wraps his arm around Raph's shoulders._

 _"Do ya guys always ease drop on shit?" Raph asks trying to sound irritated but the smile on his face says that he is anything but mad._

 _Mikey chuckles and leans an arm on Don's shoulder proudly. "Come on Raphie, do you even gotta ask a question you already know the answer to?"_

 _"Hey, so is it cool if I look you over now Raph? I mean, um, Leo can I check to see if he has any wounds or anything? And sorry I stepped over some boundaries earlier I just- " Donnie fumbles with his words still skeptical to even ask about this with how close the two are sitting together on the couch with Leo's arm around Raph._

 _"Don its cool, really. I shouldn't have even been defensive like that you are family. Its just been a shitty day and when it comes to Raph I just cant help it." Leo shrugs it off and gives Donnie an apologetic smile._

 _"No need to apologize Leo I get it." Donnie smiles back at his leader._

 _"Wait, so how exactly did you get looking like you jumped into a pool of blood?" Mikey asks Raph as they all make there way into the lab._

 _"Lets just say I kicked Fishface and Razars ass 'cuz they're a bunch of jackasses."_

 _Raph pulls Leo closer to him as their family makes their way into the lab in front of them and nuzzles into Leo's neck humming in comfort. Leo wraps his arms around Raph's shoulders and kisses his temple. "I'm glad we are home."_

 _"Mmm, me to Fearless."_

 _Home. They get to stay. They got their fathers blessing it all worked out! And hot damn Raph didn't realize how tired he was until now. All he wants to do is curl up in bed with Leo by his side and sleep. Of course after he showers all this blood off first, its staring to dry and feel crispy._

 _"Hey Raph," Leo whispers. Raph looks up at his mates smug face? "Are you a racehorse? Cuz' when I ride you'll always finish first."_

 _And now Raph sees why Leo got so damn flustered earlier because shit those words coming out of his mouth in that smooth low way was hot! This is not something you should say to someone who is about to have hands all over him checking for any scratches from a fight!_

 _"Dammit Leonardo!" He chuckles and covers the blush on his face with his hand._

* * *

 **A/N:** So this chapter did not want to be written at all. I rewrote it like five times and this was the best I could get out of it. Sorry its not that great. Maybe like three more chapters left? I'll try to get them out sooner. Thanks so much for all the support on this story y'all are awesome!


	19. Chapter 19 Slowly Then all at Once

**A/N:** Welcome to chapter 19! I hope it isn't to confusing, but it is just a bunch of memories all in one long ass chapter. I actually really enjoyed writing this one! Happy reading y'all!

*WARNING* lots of swearing in this chapter. Raph cusses like a sailor.

* * *

 _"Are ya sure about this Mike?" Raph holds his Tphone out in front of him with wide eyes, like it's a giant pregnant cockroach with five antennas and it's due to have 300 children any second._

 _"Ya duah! Couples do things like this ALL the time Raph." Mikey shrugs crossing his feet at his ankles and flips the page of his Batman comic dramatically giving Raph a smug look._

 _The two turtles are piled onto the orange masked ninja's bed, somehow able to sit on the twin sized mattress with all the 'treasures' as Mikey calls it, the shit covering his bedroom floor and bed. More like trash. There is three empty pizza boxes stacked near the door, crumbled up pieces of paper overflowing what Raph thinks is the trash can, candy wrappers all over the bed, soda cans practically decorate the left corner of the room with all kinds of empty flavored colorful cans in what looks like a collection at this point, and of course all of his action figures and comics are perfectly aligned and stacked on a shelf next to Mike's bed._

 _Raphael is starting to think his little brother is a hoarder._

 _"Does Woody know that you are a hoarder?" He questions dusting some of the Snickers and Startburst wrappers out from under his shell onto the floor next to what looks like an unfinished meatball sandwich covered in blue mold. Raph nearly gags at the sight of that poor sandwich. "Ugh! Seriously Mikey?!"_

 _The freckled turtle glances his blue eyes over the top of his comic and it finally registers to him what the hothead is gesturing to in disgust. He places his comic in his lap and leans over the bed to get a closer look at what used to be his meatball sandwich. "Aw man! I forgot about that, I was gonna finish it but now it's got mold on it." He pouts._

 _He glares at the sandwich, but then his eyebrows raise up, he goes to pick it up but Raph swats his hand away with a little more force than necessary, like damn. "Hey! My room, my sandwich, I can do what I want with it! I mean it doesn't look half bad even though its been like a month."_

 _"I swear ta God if ya eat that shit –"_

 _"And to answer your question, no, my super-hot boyfriend with blonde curly hair who makes bomb ass pizza does not know I'm a hoarder." Mikey cuts him off and lays back down onto his pillow picking his comic up off of his lap. "And stop avoiding the plan."_

 _"Do ya even know what a hoarder is? I'm surprised ya admitted to that shit." Raph chuckles and leans his shell back against the wall completely ignoring their previous conversation. "Really though Mikey, your room is a shithouse. There is probably thousands of bugs crawling around in here." He whispers that last part wrapping an arm around his plastron with wide eyes scanning around the area again._

 _Dammit, why'd he have to think about bugs?!_

 _They are stupid nasty creatures who have nothing better to do than crawl or fly around like they own the place! And they always pop out when you least expect it apart of some evil master plan or something! Ugh bugs are just so nasty! The way they crawl on your body.. Oh Jesus just thinking about it gives Raph the creeps. He ignores the goose bumps on his arms and forces himself to bring his thoughts elsewhere._

 _"So this is simple really. All you gotta do is take super sexy pics and send em with hot captions." Mikey says like he didn't even hear Raph, completely ignoring him, and flips another page of his comic. "Me and Woody do it all the time."_

 _"Why are ya tellin' me this again?" Raph asks, giving his little brother an unimpressed look._

 _There is no way Leo would be down for something like sexting. No fucking way._

 _"Becauuuuuse! Leo is gonna love it!" Mikey says dramatically and throws his comic off to the side of the bed, quickly snatching Raph's phone from his hands and flips it onto the camera. "Now, be sexy!"_

 _"Oh Jesus. NOT IN FRONT OF YOU!" Raph hisses, quickly taking his phone back and shoves Mikey who is laughing down back on his bed before he gets up and tip toes his way out of the room, being careful not to step on anything or stub his toes on his way out._

 _As he finally gets to the door he can barely make out what Mikey says because he is laughing so hard it jumbles his words up. "Glad I could help Raphie!"_

 _Face now completely red, Raph hurries into his bedroom and closes the door shut behind him before anybody catches himself looking all flustered. Closing his eyes he leans his shell against the door and takes a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth._

 _Is he really going to do this?_

 _Do all couples do this?_

 _It's not weird unless Leo finds it weird right? Fearless does have his kinks, maybe this is one of them. Or maybe Raph is way over his head this time. It's not that he is nervous because he can totally be sexy. He can turn that on like flipping a switch._

 _Speaking of switches, why is his bedroom light off?_

 _Raph blindly makes his way to the right side of the room where his light is, using the wall as his way of sight feeling the bricks one at a time as his fingers brush over the cold stones. He is pretty sure he is almost there if his memory is right, but then his hands find something he knows he didn't leave in his room when he left._

 _He jumps a little when he feels a warm bicep and trails his way up the muscle leading to a plastron and trails his hand up a collarbone, to an adams apple, and finally to two big lips tugged into a smirk. Raph's other hand runs up the intruders other arm feeling the strong muscles, brushing over them with his fingers._

 _"Ya know, yer in the way of my light switch. And it's not nice to scare the shit outta people." Raph's hands roam all over the strong hot body in front of him and he can't help but smirk._

 _"I've been waiting for you." Hot damn, Leo's voice is so deep and scratchy when he is turned on!_

 _Raph finds himself groaning just at the sound of his mates hoarse voice. His hands slide down Leo's sides and find his firm ass, gripping it hard pressing their bodies together as Leo churrs. They both meet in the middle and crash their lips together in a very heated kiss. How long has he even been in here anyway? Raph saw Leo last after morning practice, he was pretty sure his mate went to talk to Sensei but that was a few hours ago. And why does it smell like sex in here? They messed around in Leo's room last night, not Raph's._

 _Leo wraps his arms around Raph's neck pulling them impossibly closer as he slides his tongue into Raph's mouth, this time they both moan. Raph slips one of his legs in the middle of both of Leo's, and his smirk grows when he can feel a bulge against his thigh as his own arousal rubs against Leo's strong thigh._

 _"Sorry ta keep ya waitin'." Raph gasps when he pulls away from the kiss, Leo's hand finds his tail in the dark lightly tracing his thumb over the small appendage. The two grind on each other's thigh both eager for friction._

 _"Mmm, it's alright," Leo hums pressing his mouth to Raph's neck and immediately bites down on the warm skin. Raph throws his head back biting his bottom lip to prevent a loud moan, he squeezes tighter on Leo's ass holding on to the cheeks like it's a life line._

 _"I jacked off to your scent in here a few times while I was waiting." He whispers before nibbling on Raph's bottom lip and then sucks on it. So that's why it smells kinda like sex._

 _"Oh Jeezus Leonardo." Raph groans out with his bottom lip still in Leo's mouth, all kinds of images fill his dirty mind and that let alone was enough to make Raph's dick drop down._

* * *

 _"Oh come on Fearless! I can, I-I caaan, ah, ugh God dammit!" Raph scratches his nose with the back of his hand trying with all his power not to sneeze, because if he does he wont be able to stop. This is just fucking ridiculous. Raphael Hamato NEVER gets sick! He's been lying in bed all day long and it didn't take long for Leo to literally carry him into his dumb nerdy room because 'a hammock isn't a bed and it will make you more sick blah blah blah'._

 _The tickling sensation doesn't stop in his nose and before he knows it he is sneezing away. And again and again and a-fucking-again. He wants more than anything to swat away the tissue Leo is offering him, but having snot dripping out of your nose SUCKS so he accepts the stupid ultra soft fluffy kleenex, ignoring the concerned face on his mate and blows his damn nose for the millionth time today._

 _"'M fine." Wow Raph, that sounded so convincing. Scratchy throat from coughing so much, and stuffy nose adds up for a sore sounding voice for poor ears. Leo has been by Raph's side all day long. Raph knows he's been a pain in the ass to take care of, but he cant help it! He cant lift weights, cant work on his bike, cant go topside, cant have sex, cant do shit but lay in bed all day long because he has a fever, and now apparently cant go on patrol either._

 _What's next? Cant get up to take a piss by himself?_

 _"Like hell your fine." Leo sits on the corner of his bed with his arms folded over his plastron and a glare on his face, mixed with a concerned gaze in his eyes. "You have a fever of 102 Raphael. There is no way you'd be able to run across rooftops let alone fight without getting killed! You are in no condition to even get out of bed so you are staying." He says with a firm voice, one that leaves 'don't you even try to argue with me on this' written all over his face._

 _So Raph rolls his eyes and starts coughing up a storm because he can't help it._

 _Stupid fever. Stupid cold that rushes over his body making him shiver and lay back down, pulling the covers over his gross sweaty body while coughing and trying to breathe at the same time. It's really hard to breathe out of your nose when its filled with droopy ass snot and you cant stop hacking away long enough to get some air in your goddamn lungs._

 _Fuck being sick._

 _Leo sighs and gets up to the side of his bed, helping Raph pull the blue covers over his shoulders and grabs the glass of water on the nightstand, handing it to the sick turtle. "I'm sorry baby, I know how much you want to be out there with us." Leo runs his other hand on Raph's cheek and Raph instantly leans into the the warm touch._

 _He cant help it, when he is sick he automatically becomes super touchy-feely and has to be around somebody at all times. Its not his fault! His head just gets all fuzzy and his guard is down a few notches._

 _So that's probably why he says this,"I like it when you call me that." Anger completely forgotten, Raph gives his mate a dopey smile and accepts the glass of water Leo is still holding out for him._

 _Leo must have forgotten what the shell he even said by the confused look on his face. "Call you what?"_

 _"Mmm, baby." Raph mumbles into his cup and hands it back to Leo after taking a big sip. "Ya never let me call ya pet names an I get all fuzzy feelin' when ya call me cute sappy shit like that." He closes his eyes and hugs Leo's arm to his plastron suddenly feeling really tired._

 _Must be that medicine Don gave him a few minuets ago._

 _"I think I should have Donnie check your temperature again before we head out," Leo sounds really worried, he's probably starring at the door deciding if he should leave Raph to get Donnie or just call him in here, but Raph can't really tell. He slightly opens his eyes peeking at his mates concerned face, he suddenly feeling really sad and tightens his grip on Leo's arm._

 _"No, don't go! Don't leave me. I don't wanna be alone Leo!"_

 _Gah this medicine is really messing with his head! Leo looks really blurry now and Raph's cheeks feel wet. Why do his cheeks feel so wet? Oh. Its because he is crying. Ugh. As long as Leo doesn't go he'll be fine._

 _"Hey," Leo coos and rubs his free hand wiping the tears rolling down his cheeks. "Don't cry baby it's alright. I'm not going anywhere." Leo leans down and presses a warm kiss to Raph's forehead._

 _Sniffing, Raph nods his head. Okay, okay good. If he is staying, then he cant get hurt. Then Raph can protect him if Leo is here with him. "Promise?" He questions, sounding like a little kid again but doesn't care because he is really exhausted, and the room is spinning, and he has a warm tingling feeling in his gut that never leaves when Leo is around, and he doesn't want to be alone._

 _"Promise. Now get some rest, Raphie." He whispers and rubs soothing circles on Raph's cheek until Raph nods off._

 _Darkness._

 _That's all he sees for what feels like hours. He never dreams when he is sick like this, just pitch black nothing and it surrounds his mind. It is actually kind of relaxing._

 _By the time he opens his eyes he realizes the warmth that was by his side is gone and he has something wet on his forehead. The room is darker now so it must be sometime at night. Squinting Raph turns his head to look at the clock, 1:34 AM. Ugh, his throat feels like someone shoved a cheese grader down it. Water, water will help. Raph grabs the cup on the nightstand and brings it to his lips to satisfy his burning throat, but the cup is empty._

 _"Dammit." He croaks out and winces in pain. His throat really fucking hurts and he barley has a voice anymore. It just sounds like a pathetic dying animal._

 _Hah, that's funny. Because Raph is a mutant turtle and he feels like he is dying._

 _He needs a drink. He needs water. He wants Leonardo. Leo must have left him to go patrolling, if he comes home with even one scratch Raph is gonna kill him. He fucking promised he wouldn't go! But if Leo is gone than that means Donnie and Mike are out to, so that leaves Master Splinter. But he is normally asleep on the couch by now waiting for the team to get home._

 _If they were home, Leo would be in here right now with Raph but he isn't here._

 _He left._

 _Hopefully everything is okay. Calling him is a good idea to check on him, but Raph's head still feels fuzzy and he can't remember where he left his Tphone. So he groans, ignoring the burning of his throat and the spinning all around him and slowly sits up. "Ah, holy shit." He curses and grabs his head as if that will help stop the world from spinning around him. He jumps when something damp flops onto his lap, a wet rag. Oh, that was probably on his forehead._

 _He stays like that for a while until the dizziness dies down a notch. Slowly, he places one foot down off the bed than the other, and slowly makes his trek for the kitchen, but then decides to make a detour when his bladder suddenly feels like its going to burst._

 _After spending what feels like forever in the bathroom, Raph finally heads to the kitchen. Crossing through the pit he notices the television is on and Master Splinter glances up at him from the couch._

 _"Raphael, sit. I'll get you a cup of water."_

 _Before Raph can even protest, his father is already up and heading into the kitchen so Raph plops down onto the couch. The television flashes some soap opera in front of him but Raph doesn't even notice, he is way to out of it to even care what is happening on the screen._

 _A small hand holding a cup of water is suddenly in front of his face and he accepts it, downing the whole thing he has to pause to breathe. Before he can even thank his father for the water, four feet running into the lair at a fast pace takes his attention and he nearly drops his cup._

 _Donnie and Mikey are carrying Leonardo through the doors and heading to the lab. Fever quickly forgotten, Raphael is up on his feet and storming in behind them with Splinter ahead of him._

 _"What the fuck happened?!" He forces the words to come out of his mouth and worriedly scans his mates unconscious body laid on the medical table in front of him. Donnie is already at work patching up the deep gash in his arm with stiches._

 _Leo is covered in bruises from head to toe. None of them really look to concerning except for the one on his forehead. So either that knocked him out or the blood loss from the oozing cut in his arm did._

 _"Tigerclaw got to him before we could get there." Mikey helps Donnie wrap Leo's other arm into a sling and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. "But Tigerclaw got it worse. Leo totally kicked his ass before we got there from the looks of that bastard."_

 _Raph clenches his fists tight trying to control his breathing. Of course it was Tigerclaw. Who the fuck else would it be?! God dammit if he wasn't fucking sick! He could have been there for Leo! He could have prevented this from happening! But no, he has a stupid fever and the room is really spinning right now. Holy shit! Splinter is saying something but Raph cant make out the words, his ears are ringing to loudly._

 _The last thing he saw was his fathers worried face starring at him before the world went black._

 _Nothing but darkness._

 _That is all he is used to is the darkness. I guess that's what happens when you live in the sewers and aren't able to own a window for some sunlight. every once in a while._

 _Feels like years go by before he opens his heavy eyelids again, but when he does he immediately snaps them shut. Stupid bright blinding light! Ugh what the hell even happened anyway? He remembers being sick because a cough is quick to remind him rising out of his throat. He opens his eyes again and notices Donnie's computer across the room._

 _He is in the lab._

 _Why is he in the lab?_

 _Looking down at his arm he realizes he has a tube in his arm, an ivy. "What tha fuuuuck happened?" He groans, and realizes he isn't alone. Leo is sitting in a chair next to him with a sling around his arm, bruises and scratches all over his body, he looks horrible. And suddenly like a wave, all the memories flood back to him._

 _And he is pissed._

 _"Woah, easy Raph." And he must look pissed because Leo is up on his feet quickly, wincing in pain as he walks over to Raph's side with his good arm up in defense. Can he even call that his good arm?! There is a long gash leading from his elbow to his shoulder patched up in stitches. "You passed out and you are still sick. You have been out for three days now."_

 _"Three days?!" He chokes out._

 _"I woke up two days ago. Donnie let me keep an eye on you while he sleeps. I'm so glad your okay, you are really sick baby." He whispers that last part and rubs his hand over Raph's sweaty forehead making Raph's stomach flutter. "We just got you out of the bathtub to keep your body temperature down and brought you in here a few hours ago. Don't scare me like that."_

 _"Don't scare you like that?! You are the one who scared the shit outta me!" Raph argues with what ever is left of his voice, which isn't much now. "You left me Leo." He finally leans his head back down with a sigh._

 _"I'm sorry I had to! The Foot have been everywhere these past few nights we had to try and stop them from kidnapping more people! I was going to stay, I was, but Donnie found a lead to where they were and we couldn't chance it. You were asleep and I didn't want to wake you." Leo sighs and grabs Raph's hand into his own._

 _God this sucks. He couldn't be there to help them! They were a man down and he just laid in bed like a lazy ass while they took the Foot on. As much as Raph wants to be mad at Leo right now, he knows he cant. If the situation was switched he would have done the same thing. He knows he would. Plus who cares what a dumb delusional turtle says while he is hyped up on cold medicine?_

 _"Right," He tries to speak but the words barley come out so he swallows and tries again. "Right, yer right. Who cares what a dumb delusional turtle says anyway it was dumb."_

 _Somehow, Leo understood every word that came out of his mouth. "God I really want to kiss you right now, idiot. I care! I wanted to stay I really did, and I may have left but I will always be with you even when we are apart. That I can promise."_

 _Tears prick the corners of Raph's eyes again. "Oh my God stooooop!" He chuckles, well he tries to at least. His body decides to turn into a coughing fit instead. He tightens his grip on Leo's hand and gives him a smile. "I'm glad yer okay to."_

 _"Okay, I'm coming in! So this is your warning to get off of each other." Donnie's voice echoes through the outside of the lab and Raph can tell by the tone of his voice he is smiling._

* * *

 _"So, you and Leo huh?" Casey asks, tapping his shot glass with his pointer finger. He got some fancy shit called Lemon drop, all Raph knows is it has vodka in it and some lemony flavor stuff or something. Raph isn't really one for fancy girly drinks like that, he is more of a simple beer or heavy alcohol kind of a guy. Never in between. That's why he went for a Good ol' Sailor Vodka, this baby is 85% alcohol._

 _Ever since him and Leo, well, came out, Raph hasn't been able to bust heads that much with Case. And he isn't gonna lie, he's really missed this shell for brains. They decided to stop at their favorite bar tonight. The Red Ninja. Ironic right? This place was practically named after Raph! Maybe that's why he likes it so much? Its sort of like a second home to him, kinda sad, but its a pretty homey place. All of the workers know him and they are so friendly._

 _He is wearing a long trench coat, pants and hat covering all the things that need to be hidden. Its normally pretty dark in here so that helps a lot to._

 _"Uh," Raph clears his throat and decides to down his whole glass before he answers, he is going to need the extra courage of alcohol for this conversation. Its not everyday you tell your best bud you are madly in love with your own brother. He really hasn't been looking forward to this conversation. "Y-Yeah." He stutters and can feel his cheeks burn pink, hopefully his hat is hiding the flush._

 _So damn embarrassing._

 _"Get it man!" Casey smiles his gap toothed smile ,and leans over the table to nud his elbow on Raph's arm making the turtle chuckle and rub the back of his neck shyly. "I'm honestly more surprised ya like dick than ya hittin' it off for Leonardo." Raph's eyes go wide at that. Who told Casey that?! Or is he just assuming things? "I mean the two of ya have been at each others throats fer years, and I thought it was 'cuz ya both wanted a closer look at each others necks ta figure out where ya wanna leave some good hickies."_

 _Raph groans and kicks Casey's legs under the table with his foot. "Oh yeah, that's exactly what we were doing dumbass." His face flushes again but he laughs and rubs his hand over his collar bone where Leo left a trail of hickes this morning._

 _"And I don't just like any dick, only Leo's." He smirks at his human friend before he receives a kick of his own at his legs._

 _"Dayyyum dude! Way to much info there!" Casey laughs._

 _"Hey I'm just lettin' ya know." He smiles at the hockey player when he finally downs his lemony shot. "I mean, I've never really fallen for a human before so I wouldn't necessarily say i'm gay. I'm just gay fer Leo." He smiles to himself and leans his shell back against the booth they are in. Casey seems to be taking this very well._

 _"Oh come on babe, ya know that ya have fallen hard for me since the second ya laid those pretty emerald eyes on my sexy human face." Casey leans over the table and gives Raph a smug look._

 _"Oh fuck no, it was the exact opposite actually. The second I glanced at yer sorry ass face I thought I'd have to call the pound to pick ya up."_

 _They both end up laughing so hard that their stomachs hurt that night._

* * *

 _"Hello beautiful." He purrs, running his hands over the cold smooth metal of his baby._

 _It's been to damn long since he has ridden her. Almost 24 hours!_

 _Raph grabs the black helmet off of one of the handle bars and throws it to Leo who is dumbly standing on the other side of the bike. "Oh no. No no no. I am not getting on this death trap with you." He shakes his head and takes a step away from the motorcycle._

 _Chuckling, Raph puts his own dark red helmet on his head and snaps the straps on so it doesn't fall off. "Come on Fearless, just one ride." He says with a smirk and sits on the seat of his shellcycle straddling it. He looks up at his mate whose cheeks are a little pink, still holding the helmet at his plastron with both hands and is pouting._

 _Holy shit that is so adorable!_

 _Raph pats the space behind him with his hand. "If you come, I promise this won't be the only thing I ride tonight."_

 _That got Fearless leader to quickly put the helmet on his head. He fumbles with the straps that keeps his helmet on and starts to get frustrated grumbling curse words to himself. Can he get any cuter than this? This amount of cuteness should be illegal. "Cmere." Raph holds out his hands with a chuckle and Leo drops his hands from the straps with a pout on his face, and slowly walks the short distance to Raph letting him easily tie the safety straps in two seconds._

 _"Are you kidding me?!" Leo grumbles and hops on the bike behind Raph._

 _Two big mutant turtles on a motorcycle is a tight fit, but neither of the turtles are complaining. Leo is pressed up against Raph and the emerald turtle smiles to himself when Leo wraps his arms around Raph's shell tight. The engine roars to life making Leo hold on even tighter and press his head into Raph's shoulder, Raph laughs and steers them through the sewer tunnels leading to topside._

 _Soon they are zooming the streets of New York finally getting to go fast, Raph swears he can hear Leo curse when they get on the freeway. The streets aren't as busy this time at night and the stars are out along with the moon. God, Raph is so happy. Never in a million years would he have thought Leo would ride on his shellcycle with him. And yet here he is with his mate pressed close to him, on his baby feeling the familiar rumble of the engine beneath him as the lights of New York get farther away as they zoom to the outskirts of the City._

 _You can't talk when you are on a motorcycle. Well, you can, but the engine is so loud nobody would hear you. So the whole ride was silent between the two lovers. But Raph didn't mind. This was so comfortable and relaxing for him to be here with Leo, he almost wanted to keep going and stop when they ran out of gas. But he ended up stopping at a big grassy hill that looked over the city instead._

 _Surprisingly Leo was calm when he hoped off the bike and was able to undo the straps of his helmet by himself. He was going to say something but that was quickly cut off when Raph pulled him into his arms and planted a kiss to his lips. Leo was quick to return the kiss and it turned into a very heated exchange. Stumbling back words, Raph fell into the grass on his shell pulling Leo down with him._

 _"Oof," He breathes out when Leo lands on top of him taking the air out of his lungs and separating their kiss._

 _Leo smiles down at Raph underneath him and rubs his hand on his cheek. "That was actually pretty cool."_

 _The grin on Raph's face is the biggest smile, his face hurts from smiling this big but he can't help it he is so happy. "Yeah?"_

 _"Mhmm." He hums in agreement. "Where are we?" Leo asks, not taking his eyes off of his mate underneath him._

 _"Uh, I come here a a lot." Raph shrugs feeling slightly awkward now. "It helps me calm down ridin' all the way out here, ya know?"_

 _Leo never takes his gaze off of Raph and his smile is more soft now. "It's nice out here."_

 _"Yeah nobody is ever out here. I'm out here all the time and it's always just me. It's pretty relaxing."_

 _"Just you huh? And nobody else?" Leo questions, with a smirk on his face he straddles Raph's lap and slowly grinds his hips up making the larger turtle shiver. "I was promised more than one ride tonight."_

 _"And ya want it here in the open?" Raph sits up closing the space in between the two of them. "Ya kinky little shit." He mumbles against Leo's lips and grips Leo's waist._

* * *

 _Breathing hard, Raph fumbles with his Tphone in his hand to try and snap a picture that isn't so fucking blurry. It took him seven tries, but he finally got a decent picture. In it he is biting him bottom lip with his top teeth, green eyes heavy from the pleasure, and is painted in his own cum all over his plastron and chin. The dim lighting in his room actually really brings out his green eyes in this picture._

 _"Oh my God this is ridiculous." He mumbles to himself shaking his head and grabs the towel off of his floor to wipe himself down._

 _Once all the semen is cleaned off, Raph nervously sends the picture to Leo with a stupid text to go with it. He decided to send it quick and get it over with. Oh Lord, what Raph would give to see his mates face when he sees this picture. The leader is currently on a pizza run, it was his turn to pick it up this time so Raphael decided to give him a surprise while he was out. Hopefully the pizza would be in one piece when it got here and Leo doesn't do something stupid like drop it or something._

 _Raph exits his room and takes a quick shower so he doesn't smell like sex. He most certainly does not jerk off to the idea of Leo sending him a sexy picture back and fantasizing about how hot that would be while he was under the hot shower water._

 _Okay, he totally does. But who is going to judge him about it? He is a mutant turtle with urges okay?_

 _By the time he gets out of the shower with his towel draped over his neck he almost crashes into Donnie who is turning the corner. "Fuck Donatello! Ya scared the shit outta me."_

 _"Oh, hey Raph. I was just looking for you. Can I run some tests really quick?" He asks not even looking fazed by almost knocking his chin into Raph's forehead._

 _"Why can't ya use Mikey?" He wines and sags his shoulders down pouting._

 _Raph really doesn't like being the lab rat. He doesn't do to great with needles and Donnie knows! He used to be pretty bad when it came to shots and getting his blood drawn though. At least he doesn't pass out anymore, that's gotta be some improvement right?_

 _"Because he is out with Woody tonight, and plus its been a while since I got some samples from you. I really don't want you to get sick like you did last time that was quite the fever." Donnie grabs Raph by the wrist and leads him into the lab because he knows Raph wont go unless he is forced. "Sit." The genius points to the wooden chair in the corner of the lab and Raph does what he says with a loud groan._

 _"Ughhh. Don ya know I hate this! 'M fine honestly! There is no need fer any of yer big ass needles, my blood is perfectly fine in my body where it belongs."_

 _"Stop wining ya big baby it will be over before you know it." Donnie rolls his eyes, shuffling through his drawer and pulls out the ugliest needle in the history of needles. It is so ugly Raph has to close his eyes at the sight of it and his heart rate picks up._

 _"Don't tense up, you know that makes it worse." Donnie almost sounds amused at this. Knowing the jerk he probably is!_

 _"I can't help it ya jackass!" He grits out through clenched teeth, his fists clench and he can't help his muscles tensing up, this happens every damn time._

 _Donnie chuckles and is suddenly closer than Raph saw him before he shut his eyes. Raph feels Donnie grab his arm and rub an alcohol swab to clean off where he is going to stick the needle in. Being a huge ass mutant, that means you have huge ass veins, thus a thick ass needle to speed up the process of getting your blood drawn. His heart is pounding through his plastron as he blindly grips Donnie's free arm tight enough to leave a bruise. "Just do it already before I have a fuckin' heart attack!"_

 _And then there is a small sting in his arm as the needle stealing his blood from his arm enters his skin. Tears prick the corners of Raph's eyes but he refuses to let them fall. He'll never hear the end of it if he cries AGAIN during this process. God, the thought of a needle penetrating his arm and draining the blood from his body is really making Raph dizzy. The room is spinning a little and his ears start to ring. If he were to open his eyes he is sure he will pass out or throw up, or both._

 _"Agh! Damn Raph you are going to break my arm!" Donnie gorans out as he lets the vial fill with Raph's blood._

 _Raph would respond or at least release his death grip onto his younger brother, but he can't get himself to move let alone speak to do so while this shit is in his vein. Donnie must have noticed Raph struggling to breathe correctly because all the amusement that was in his voice earlier is completely gone and now is filled with concern._

 _"Woah Raphael, just breathe! Ready? Do it with me like we always do. Breathe in, one two three four five six. Out, seven eight nine ten eleven twelve." Donnie's calming voice instructs, and Raph feels something cold get placed around the back of his neck as the genius keeps counting._

 _Raph can feel Donnie touching his arm where the needle is, but he still refuses to open his eyes. Instead he squeezes them shut tighter, holds on harder to his brothers arm, and listens to the numbers to how he is supposed to be breathing so he doesn't pass the fuck out on the lab floor again. The coolness on his neck is starting to cool his body down and help the sweating he was feeling moments ago._

 _God, why am I such a goddamned wimp? Raph thinks to himself._

 _When it comes to shit like bugs or needles, he freaks. And he can't help it at all! He has tried to overcome these dumb childish fears, he really has. But it seems like no matter what he does in life he will never be the protector of the family as long as those two things roam the earth. Imagine how bad it would be if the Foot or Purple Dragons found out about these dumb fears._

 _Raph would be done for._

 _"You okay?" Donnie asks. Raph didn't even realize he had stopped counting._

 _"Mmm," He scratches out, throat suddenly feeling dry. "Water, please." He begs with his eyes still closed, wanting nothing more but to feel cold liquid running down his throat to calm his panicked body._

 _"You can open your eyes now. I took the nee-"_

 _"Please don't even say it. God, I don't need to get all worked up again for Christ's sake!" Raph grits out cutting Donnie off as he slightly opens his eyes, squinting till he gets used to the bright blinding light in the lab. He can't even look at his arm where the blood sucking instrument from hell was, even though he knows its covered up with a cotton ball and tape like Donnie does it every time. Its just to damn soon for him to look there._

 _When Donnie comes back with a cold cup of water and a piece of Leo's chocolate, Raph gladly takes the candy and water, gulping down the whole cup. His body relaxes once it has ice cold water in it's system again._

 _"You almost passed out." Donnie says as he takes the now empty cup from his older brother and that's when Raph notices the hand mark on his arm._

 _"Holy shit Don!" Raph gasps out and gently grabs the purple banded brothers hand pulling him closer to look at the hand mark. The hand mark he made. He hurt his brother. "I'm so sorry, D. Oh God, I'm so sorry! I couldn't think and I-"_

 _"Raphael," Donnie interrupts and squeezes Raph's hand with a smile on his face. "You were about to pass out, its okay. I really thought you were going to go down for a second there. Plus it's still better than that one time you blew chunks all over my face." He chuckles at the memory._

 _Maybe it's the warmness that you feel whenever your around Donnie? Or how nice it is to be around such a loving turtle? Whatever weird aurora is going around the room is contagious and Raph finds himself laughing with his brother. "Its not my fault ya pulled me in after I ate pineapple! Pukin' that up made me hate that fruit by the way."_

 _"The feeling is mutual."_

 _They both laugh at the gross shared moment and soon Raph finds himself back in his room, legs felt like jello the whole walk there. Plopping into his hammock, he grabs his Walkman cassette player and puts his headphones on. Yeah, you read that right. A cassette player. They have gone to the junkyard so many times, Raph has lost count, and yet they still haven't been able to find an ipod out there._

 _Maybe Donnie can make him one someday._

 _Pushing play on his Walkman, he reaches under his bed, still ignoring the cotton ball on his arm, and grabs the red covered book from underneath the hammock. The song Vienna by Billy Joel starts playing on his Walkman, he hums along as he starts to draw in his journal._

 _He has always loved to draw, but he's no artist. Mikey is the artist in the family. Just like Donnie is the doctor and the scientist. And Leo is the leader and the best ninja. Raph is just the hothead, the screw up. The one who never does anything right._

 _Sighing, Raph presses his pen harder onto the paper. Now isn't the time depressing thoughts!_

 _Raph's Tphone buzzes on his nightstand, and the red cladded ninja jumped at the loud vibration, drawing a big line through the cartoon bunny's face he was doodling on accident. "Dammit!" He growls in annoyance. How damn loud is his phone turned up to anyway?! He could hear it through his head phones, like shit man. Sighing, he grabs the green phone and swipes the screen to unlock it without bothering to check to notification._

 _He got a text from someone, on his messages it has a number one bubble in the left corner. God if its Mikey saying what nasty things he has planned with Woody again, Raph will hide all of his comics from him. Clicking the messages app, Raph discovers that the text isn't from Mike, its from Leo. Isn't he supposed to be bringing home pizza? Hopefully is isn't hurt!_

 _Heart rate picking up at the though, Raph quickly taps on the text and his jaw drops at the sight. Damn, Raph already forgot about the whole sexting thing. Up at the top is Raph's picture he sent._

 ** _RAPH 8:26 PM - *PHOTO SENT*_**

 _ **Rlly wish u were home rn, its not fun playin without u** _

**_FEARLESS 8:48 PM - *PHOTO SENT*_**

 ** _I'll be home in five, would have been sooner but I had to stop to take care of this mess. Thanks for that._**

 _Hot damn! Leo had to stop to take care of his hard on! He totally did. Raph made Leo get all hard by a picture! And Leo made Raph get hard by a picture to... The throbbing beneath his Legs is difficult to ignore but Raph can't seem to take his eyes off of the dirty dirty picture his mate sent him. He is holding his hard member with one hand and has the sexiest smirk on his lips with cum on his plastron._

 ** _RAPH 8:50 PM_**

 _ **I'll be waiting, might want to hurry or you'll miss out on the fun. U know where 2 find me** _

_Raph quickly sends back his response and lays down on his shell with a moan. He doesn't know if he can wait for Leo. Five minutes is way to long! A knock at the door stardles the turtle, he almost thought it was Leo, but Donnie's voice echoes through the door. "Hey Raph, can you text Leo and see what's taking him so long with the pizza? I'm a little busy at the moment."_

 _Swallowing spit down his throat, he quickly clears his throat trying to sound like he isn't jerking himself off. "S-Sure thing Don." His voice still comes out deeper than normal, dammit!_

 _Muffled voices echo through the other side of the door. "Oh, hey there you are! What took so long are you okay?" Donnie's voice sounds concerned, but is soon filled with annoyance in seconds. "Oh God, I should have known! Jesus you two! And what happened to the pizza?!"_

 _"Can you take this?" Leo's voice rings through the door, and how deep and rough he sounds is enough to make Raph groan out. Leo stumbles through the door, bulge between his legs, face tinted pink from arousal and embarrassment, before the door closes Raph hears Donnie._

 _"I am going to work on soundproofing your rooms. Have fun fucking each other for the fiftieth time in two days!"_

 _In a blink of an eye Leo is straddling Raph in his hammock with a devilish smirk on his lips. "I ran here." His husky voice whispers and he nibbles on Raph's neck._

 _Raph chuckles, voice much deeper than it was before Leo got in here. "Didja drop the pizza?" He practically moans out when Leo bites his neck hard._

 _"Mmm, yup." Leo smirks against Raph's skin and grinds his hips down in Raph's lap rubbing their erections together. "Your fault though."_

* * *

 _"Oh come on Matt! Can't you see Jenna loves you!? Why would you STILL marry Wendy?! Ugh!" Mikey throws his hands up in the air complaining._

 _"Shh!" April throws a handful of popcorn at the freckled turtle from her spot on the floor next to Casey and Donnie. They are all laying on top of blankets and pillows in front of the television. Mikey ended up catching some of the thrown kernels in his mouth with a giggle. It's movie night and tonight was April's pick. She chose 13 Going on 30, Master Splinter even joined in on this movie. He loves chick flicks._

 _Leo and Raph claimed the couch with Leo laying on Raph's plastron. Splinter is on the recliner and Mikey is sprawled out on the beanbag chair._

 _Raph loves nights like this. Nights where everybody is here and not worrying about the Foot or Purple Dragons. Nights like this all you have to worry about is falling asleep, Mikey will draw on your face if you do. Leo is softly running his hands up and down Raph's arm, lightly tickling as his hand moves. His head is tucked in the crook of Raph's neck but turned so he can see the movie. Raph has an arms wrapped around Leo's shell and the two are pressed together._

 _Raph can feel Leo turn his head to face him so his moves his eyes from crying Jenna on the television to Leo. Leo has a strange look on his face. It's a look you don't see often with this turtle. He is in deep thought, but once he realizes Raph is starring back at him he gives the emerald turtle a warm sincere smile and runs his hand on Raph's cheek before giving him a quiet kiss on the lips._

 _"I love you." He whispers when they part, and lays back down on Raph nuzzling his plastron._

 _"I love ya to, Leo." Raph smiles and presses a kiss to Leo's temple._

 _The two end up falling asleep on accident. When they wake up their legs are tangled together, Leo and Raph are both covered in drawings. Raph has 'DRAMA QUEEN' written on his forehead and Leo has 'DADDY' on his. On Raph's arms are at least a hundred little turtle drawings and it says 'Fearless leader and Hotheads babies'. Leo has a penis drawn on his leg and butterflies on his other._

 _The two look at each other, first with amusement, but then they realize they have drawings on themselves as well._

 _"MIKEY I"M GONNA KILL YOU!" Raph roars and storms into the orange masked turtles room with Leo right behind him._

* * *

 _Patrolling is normally a pretty boring two hours of Raph's night. And Leo is being extra snappy tonight to so that is making it worse. Normally when he screws around with Mikey, Leo doesn't blow up so easily, but tonight he can't stand two seconds of it._

 _"We'll take the longer way back home so we'll clear more ground." Leo says, he turns around so he is facing his team away from the ledge of the roof he was looking off of._

 _"Ughhh, do we have to take the long way?" Mikey complains as he slouches, giving Leo a tired look and pouting his bottom lip down attempting the puppy dog face. Leo isn't buying it though. Not tonight._

 _"Yes." Leo practically growls, and takes a few steps closer to Mikey. "We need to stop the Foot from all these kidnappings and sitting around playing video games all day isn't helping these people!" Mikey ducks his head low and avoids eye contact with Leo at all costs. "Now move out." Leonardo snaps, jumping across to the next roof._

 _Sighing, Raph jumps to the next roof as well with his little brothers behind him. Whenever Leo is this uptight about missions he is really stubborn by the time they get into bed. He wont even snuggle with Raph because he is so frustrated. He gets so caught up in being the leader sometimes, but he knows what he is doing, he just doesn't know how to take care of himself at times like this._

 _They follow Leo about half of the way back to the lair until Leo comes to a sudden stop on top of a dry cleaners rooftop. He hand signals the team to crouch down like he is and be quiet, so the brothers follow the order and creep up to the edge._

 _"- you are our new test subject. The last few didn't survive the experiment, but you look strong, I think you can handle it." Tigerclaw purrs, running his claw over the girls cheek. All of Shredders pets are there on the next roof over. In the center of the rooftop is a young girl with long brown hair, she is tied up and gagged with tears running down her face._

 _"Leo," Raph whispers and looks over to his leader for instructions. Leo holds his hand up to the sai wielder to make him be quiet, obviously trying to come up with a plan. Glancing back at the scene below them, Fishface is walking towards the captured girl with a syringe in his hand._

 _"I'm not going to lie, this will hurt like a bitch." The fish cackles and flicks the needle before approaching the human who is desperately trying to get away._

 _"Leo!" Raph grits out not taking his attention away from the crime scene._

 _"Hang on Raph, this will work if we wait for the right -"_

 _Leo keeps talking but Raph can't even bother to listen, because Fishface is five seconds from sticking that needle in this girls arm. Growling, Raph swiftly throws four ninja stars, taking away each bound holding down the girl and the syringe in Fishface's hand. And Raph finds himself on the same roof as the Foot, they all are in a fighting stance ready._

 _And that's how Raph got himself in this shit of a situation._

 _That's how he got the weird blue liquid in his arm._

 _That's why Leo wanted their relationship to be put on a break. Because if he would have just waited five damn seconds then maybe things would have been different. Maybe he wouldn't have been turned into a fucking baby!_

This is why when Raph gasps for air, blinking profusely from the stupid goddamned blinding light of Donnie's lab, shooting up to sit upright just to see Leo's tired but happy face at the edge of the cot, Raph is pissed.

* * *

 **A/N:** Wow this chapter was a 9 thousand worded BEAST! But if you forgot, _italics_ is memories. So yes, in that last sentence Raphael is finally awake and in the present and is pissed because he is Raphael! So yay! This chapter took FOREVER to write and there is probably a butt load of grammar errors so I apologize. Feel free to tell me if its really bad so I can fix it later.

But THANK YOU SO MUCH! All the reviews and follows/favorites for this story is so encouraging! :D

Yesterday was my Birthday, so in honor of that here is a present for you! (This long chapter haha!)

Bout two chapters left for ya! Strap in, the next one will be full of drama :3


	20. Chapter 20 Little Red

Seven days.

Raph has been unconscious for a whole week. That's 168 hours and 10080 minuets without seeing his green eyes. Donnie is worried that Raphael is going to go into a coma, so he has ivy fluids ruining through his veins and a breathing mask on his mouth. Someone has to be watching him all throughout the day and night to, he cannot be left alone.

Of course its Leo who is always by his side.

But for two hours a day Mikey, Splinter or Donnie comes in and pulls Leo out of the room for a shower and some rest. When those two hours are up he heads right back into the lab, every time Raph looks a little older, a little more like himself. Its strange to literally watch someone grow before your eyes.

Sighing, Leo rubs his head with his hands. He gets up off of his bed and makes his way to the lab so Mikey can get some rest and he can watch over his unconscious mate. When he gets closer to the lab he hears sobs through the door. Not able to think straight from the lack of food and sleep Leo quickly bursts through the door silently hoping that maybe his mate is awake, but why would someone be crying? Did something really bad happened while he was trying to get some rest? This is why he has been refusing to leave Raph's side dammit!

God, if something did happen and Leo wasn't there for Raph... No. Now isn't the time for these thoughts.

Quickly shuffling through the door Leo pauses when he sees Mikey. He has his head resting on the cot next to Raph's head, and is holding the emerald turtles hand in his own with tears streaming down his face. Raph isn't awake. He looks a lot like he did when Leo last saw him on that rooftop when it all went down, strong lean muscles on his arms and legs, his sharp jaw line, his dark emerald skin. But he still isn't awake. Raphael is still in the same spot he left him, eyes shut, arms slack at his side, looking peaceful, but no one knows what is going on in his head right now. It could be anything but peaceful, the thought sends shivers down Leo's shell.

"...Hey Mikey." Leo finally speaks up after awkwardly shuffling at the end of the cot near Raph's feet for a few minuets. "It is my turn to take over, you should get some rest ya?" He places a hand on his little brothers shoulder and Mikey lets out a deep breath trying to blink away the tears.

It takes him a while to respond or even move at all. But when he does speak his voice is strained from crying and barley above a whisper. "What if he doesn't wake up?" Mikey asks whimpering, glancing up at Leo through watery eyes not taking his hand away from the unconscious turtle, afraid that if he does, it will be the last time he feels the warmth of his brothers skin against his.

Sometimes Leo forgets how close Mikey is to Raph. He has always looked up to the red cladded turtle even though Raph is to oblivious to realize it. They both grew up best friends and even though Mikey tends to push the hotheads buttons, nothing can separate their bond. Leo has always been secretly jealous of them. He has to be strong in front of his brothers. He is the eldest after all. But being the leader made it much more clear for him.

He will never be as close to his brothers as he wants to. With this leadership, it also comes with lines he cannot cross. He has already overstepped them with Raphael. And now look where he is standing. In Donnie's lab with his mate who could go in a coma any goddamned minuet now! This is what happens when Leo gets to close to people, they always get hurt.

But he is in way to deep to let Raph leave him now.

He just hopes that when Raph wakes up that he will be willing to listen. Leo has to explain himself. He has to tell Raph why he wanted a break in their relationship and why he really screwed up. God, he screwed up so bad.

Leo wanted a break from Raph - at least he thought he did. But these past two months being around Raphael, and not being able to be with him was one of the hardest things he has ever done in his life. He was so stupid! He needs Raph to wake up so he can tell him this!

"He is going to be fine, he has to be." Leo responds, voice quiet. He squeezes Mikey's shoulder as the youngest turtle lets out a shaky breath and turns around facing Leo.

"Your right." He wipes the stray tears off of his cheeks with the back of his hand, a small smile on his lips. "Woody said the same thing. I mean, this is Raph we are talking about! He is a stubborn ass, and there is NO way he will go down like this! He always said that when he dies, he's gonna die swingin'. And right now he looks like sleeping beauty... so I doubt he would like this ending at all!" Mikey has more tears running down his face now. Leo pulls him into a tight hug wrapping his arms around his little brothers shell.

Leo hates seeing him like this. And to be honest, Leo wants to break down himself. But he can't. Not now, not in front of his brother. He has to stay strong. So he lets Mikey sob on his shoulder, snot and tears making his shoulder wet but he ignores it. Mikey holds onto Leo like he is a lifeline.

He was doing fine. He was able to handle his baby brother breaking down in his arms.

But then the heart monitor connected to Raph started to blare out through the lab echoing off the walls, his heart suddenly racing a hundred miles a minuet. Mikey and Leo jerk out of each others arms and rush over to the cot. Raph's whole body is drenched in sweat and his eyes are rolling as his body jerks and twitches on top of the grey sheet on the cot.

"Shit shit SHIT!" Leo curses and grabs Raph's arm, pulling his body over to lay on his side. "Mikey he is having a seizure, get Donatello NOW!" He orders, running his shaking hands up and down Raph's twitching arm. He didn't even hear Mikey run out of the room to fetch Donnie. There isn't much you can do when someone is seizing, you just make sure they are on their side so they don't choke on their vomit or foam coming out of their mouth. But Leo would feel better if Donnie was in the room. Raph cannot go into a coma! Not on his watch!

"Come on baby," Leo whimpers out, he puts his shaky hand on Raph's forehead to take his temperature but he feels normal. "You will be okay. You are going to be fine." He finds himself thoughtlessly repeating these words even though Raph isn't really hearing it. Maybe Leo is just reassuring himself?

Soon Donnie is rushing in the room with Mikey trailing behind him, Leo hardly noticed them until he could hear their rushing footsteps at the door. "He doesn't have a fever I don't know what happened Donnie!" Leo blurts out, his voice is shaky and his face is wet. He didn't realize he had been crying up until now. It's like all of his ninja training has gone out the window! He couldn't even sense himself crying, man if the Foot were to somehow find the lair and attack right now Leo would be a goner.

Donnie doesn't respond like Leo thought he would. Instead he rushes over to Raph's side, his eyebrows are furred, the quick rise and fall of his chest is quicker telling Leo he is breathing faster than normal. He positions one hand on Raph's shoulder, his other hand is clearing out all the saliva in Raph's mouth. He sighs and runs his hand over the emerald turtles forehead to check his temperature himself. It's not that he doesn't trust Leo, he just wants to double check.

"Come on Raphie, wake up." Mikey cries, he has been standing at the door ever since he got Donnie, not able to be inside the room to watch this.

Donnie wipes his forehead with his arm to clear off the sweat. "I can't do anything else until he stops seizing." His voice is small, eyes never leaving Raph, whose body is still spazzing on the cot.

The three brothers wait out the seizure together. Even though it only lasts about three minuets, it feels like it would never end. Donnie spent the whole time holding Leo in his arms as he cried and Mikey rubbed soothing circles on his shell. When the seizure finally stopped, Donnie let go of Leo to check Raph's vitals and blood pressure. All of the results came out a little above normal, but that's because of how fast his body is growing in a short amount of time.

Don thinks Raph's seizure was caused by how quickly his mind and body are growing. It was a reaction. All of the brothers slept in the lab that night.

Mikey crashed soon after they found out Raph was okay, he fell asleep with his head resting on Donnie's shoulder, drool dripping out of his mouth. And the genius was next to fall asleep with his head leaning against the wall behind him. Leonardo refuses to sleep. He is to afraid that of he does, something bad will happen to his mate again. Just the thought of that makes Leo scoot closer to the cot and hold Raph's hand a little tighter.

This is all his fault. His mate is like this because of him. He should have been more aware of his surroundings during that fight! That is apart of his job description as leader, it is what he is supposed to do!

Tears prick his eyes again making Leo want to growl in annoyance. He hates feeling so damn weak and helpless. He is the goddamn leader and the oldest! Crying makes him feel ridiculous, like a little kid. He lets the tears fall anyway and rests his head on the cot near Raph's limp arm crying softly to himself. "I'm so sorry." He whispers, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Leo doesn't remember closing his eyes and falling asleep, but he did. And when he woke he had a blanket wrapped around his shell draping over his shoulders, a kink in the back of his neck from the position he was in all night long, drool on the side of his face, and he still is holding on to Raph's hand. His eyes automatically land on Raph, who is in the exact position he saw him in last. Sighing, Leo leans over and rubs his hand over his mates cheek, then kisses his temple before standing up out of the chair with a groan.

His legs pop as he stretches his aching body, and his eyes scope out the lab in search for his brothers who are nowhere to be seen. The smell of bacon suddenly fills his nostrils - oh God that smells good - and makes Leo's stomach growl. So Mikey must be in the kitchen then. The orange clad turtle tends to bake when he is stressed. As good as bacon sounds, Leo doesn't find himself heading to the source of the smell.

He can't just leave his mate here alone. God he already fallen asleep when he told himself he wouldn't!

So he slides his chair to the bottom corner of Raph's cot and plants his sore ass in the chair unable to stop the wince he makes trying to get comfortable. Raph should be waking up anytime now! He looks like his 19 year old self, he has scars on his legs and arms that Leo had spent late nights memorizing each one tracing his fingers over them. He has the crack in his plastron that he got before they were even mutated, his arms look so strong again. Somehow, he looks perfect. Just like his old self. He is so beautiful. What Leo would give to see those alluring green eyes starring back at him again.

Ugh, God he fucked up so bad!

Just sitting here and starring at Raph makes Leo cringe at how stupid he was to call their relationship on a break. He was such a damn fool! Being with Raphael, all the years they have spent together, those were the best years of his life. He has never been so happy and yet he goes and throws that right out the window! Sure, their relationship wasn't perfect, they could work on their communication skills more and they tend to argue a lot. But Leo doesn't want perfect, perfect relationships aren't real. These thoughts have been haunting his mind ever since this whole incident began and its been driving the katana wielder up the wall, if Raph doesn't wake up soon -

And it seems like the Gods are on Leo's side today, because a deep groan bursts Leo's thought bubble making the ninja sit up tall in his chair with his eyes glued on Raph's now moving body.

"Ugh shit," He swears, flinching from the bright lights in the lab. Leo has never heard such beautiful words in his whole existence. Sure Raph's voice sounds rough and strained, and well Leo would prefer it if his mate didn't have such a colorful vocabulary - but goddamn Leo can't seem to do anything but sit there in this uncomfortable lab chair that is hurting his ass, smiling at his mate, unable to form words because he is close to crying again.

Groaning, Raph slides the breathing mask off his face and tosses it somewhere to the side. He props himself up on his elbows and squints his eyes blinking a little to get used to the light. And then Leo finally sees those firey green eyes, wide open looking right at him.

Leo can't help himself, one second he is sitting at the end of Raph's cot, and the next he is on top of Raph, his arms wrapped tightly around Raph's neck sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I love you Raphael - I love you so much baby! You mean so goddamn much to me and I screwed up so fucking bad! I love you so much." Most of his words were fumbled through sobs but Leo could care less. Nothing feels better than being in the warm embrace of his mate.

Raph cups Leo's cheeks with his hands and pulls his head up so they are looking at each other, his thumb brushes the tears off of his cheeks. "Yeah ya screwed up big time Fearless. I went home that night and I've never felt so shitty in my life." He says rubbing circles on Leo's cheeks with a soft but hoarse voice. And Leo has never been so confused trying to read Raphael. He looks so angry, but he isn't yelling. Leo was about to open his mouth and apologize again but Raph got to it before him.

"Yer lucky I love ya so fuckin' much, or right now I'd have punched ya in the face by now." He whispers with a small smile on his lips.

Leo could explode he is so happy right now! He wouldn't even mind if Raph punched him in the face, hell, he probably deserves it anyway. "You love me?" He finds himself whispering back as his hands find Raph's that are still on his cheeks.

"I love you, Leo." And suddenly the small gap between their lips is gone. The kiss is probably the softest kiss they have ever shared in a while, its not full of lust, but its still powerful, and Leo swears he sees stars with how good it feels. "But I swear to God Leanardo, please don't hurt me like that again." Raph says so quietly when they pull away that Leo almost missed it. Its rare to find this side of Raph, where he lets all of his walls down. And Leo's heart dropped to hear his mate say these words to him.

That's why when he runs his hand on Raph's cheek this time, looking into the most beautiful green eyes he has ever seen, he softly says, "I promise I'll never hurt you again little red."

 **THE END**

* * *

 **A/N:** I'll do an epilogue if y'all want one! This whole story was basically in Raph's POV so I thought seeing Leo's side of things would be good lil change. So I really struggled with this chapter (if you didn't notice) , and I had five different endings I could have gone with but I figured I have dragged this story on long enough so sappy cheesy ending it is!

I am beyond sorry for the long wait for this. I got my first job and have had the worst writers block in the history of writers block. But, I never leave a story unfinished. So I sat down and wrote this. I hope it isn't as bad as I think it is... so I'll apologize if it is bad.

This might be my last TMNT story for a while, I have been sucked into the Voltron fandom for months now and haven't found a way out. So there might be some Klance stories but I'll probably use my AO3 account for that. If you want to follow me on there here is the link

/users/Saquesha13/pseuds/Saquesha13

Im also Saquesha13 on tumblr to so feel free to hit me up if ya want! (:

Also BIG THANKS to all of you who have read this story & left comments! I love you guys SO much! You are all what makes writing so fun :')


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